Behind Closed Doors

Chapter 2: The Cynic and Hopeless Romantic

It's been a year since that night and while I have recovered from my heartbreak, I am still bitter about the hand that fate dealt me. Mates are supposed to bring happiness and make you feel complete but the reality is that it hurts everyone around you.

In our world, fated mates are the gift from the goddess, the mother of werewolves, who gives us our supernatural abilities in the hope we use them for good. Fated mates are your other half, your perfect match, which in theory sounds great but the search to find them becomes the most desperation inducing task. It has driven some mad or even worse, abusive if they end up settling for a chosen mate. Mates can be revealed at any full moon to werewolves over the age of eighteen once they have received their wolf but usually packs throw their own smaller gathering at that time. However, once a year, the local packs gather for a huge ball to let the freshly eighteen year olds meet under the full moon and see if fate has thrust itself upon them. After last year, I’m not a big fan of this ritual. You see, most smart people decide not to even date anyone seriously before they turn eighteen. Sleep around and date casually, of course, but rarely anything serious. Unfortunately, my i***t seventeen year old brain was persuaded to be exclusive by a boy who would later shatter my soul. We dated for a year before he found his fated mate.

I didn’t even want to date Jackson seriously specifically for this reason, I didn’t want either of us to get hurt. I figured that if we found out we weren’t mates that night, we would just amicably break up and decide to part as friends. I never thought he would find his mate that night. I can say that despite everything, I am grateful for him in one way. While typically females come to join their mate’s pack, Jackson decided to leave and join hers. She is the delta heir of their pack, Crescent Sun pack, while I am the beta heir of mine, Riverwood Pack. Jackson held no rank so by leaving our pack, he not only got to raise his own standing but we were all able to avoid uncomfortable interactions at least for the most part. We do have to be civil towards each other since our packs have a strong alliance and eventually we will take over the positions held by our parents.

We’ve seen each other a few times since. The first time was the hardest. He explained that maybe if I hadn’t taken off running, he could have had the strength to reject his mate and keep his promises to me. In that moment of him trying to blame me, I never wanted to rip someone’s throat out so much. But I held my tongue and decided that Jackson wasn’t worth anymore of my feelings whether it is love or anger. It also made me so glad he wasn’t my mate and any love I had for him vanished right then and there. Imagine if you heard your partner say to an ex that if they had tried a little harder, maybe they would still be together instead of being with you. Over a fated mate. How f****d up is that?!

Tonight is once again the annual ball. Hopefully fate will be kinder this year. I didn’t even want to go but as a member of a beta family and potential mating age, I must attend. I have no wish to find my mate, but my sister is of age now and wants to desperately find hers. She deserves all the happiness in the world, and I will kick anyone’s ass who dares hurt her.

Last year I was naive and innocent, with big stupid dreams my mate would be Jackson. I dressed for that part all in white with a lace sweetheart neckline and flowing chiffon skirt. It’s what Jackson wanted me to wear. In the werewolf world, mates are bonded for life so meeting your mate is kind of like a human wedding. The dress was beautiful but not my style, but if Jackson turned out to be my mate, I wanted him to be happy. Back then I would have done anything to make my mate happy.

This year I am cynical but free. I wear my favorite color instead. A deep crimson red form fitting silk dress with a black crystal embroidered corset top. It’s floor length but has a slit that goes practically to my hip and shows off my newly acquired tattoos. An intricate design of vines and flowers crawl up my thigh. As a werewolf, we love nature and have a desperate need to be outside as much as possible. I wanted tattoos for as long as I can remember but Jackson hated the thought. He liked imagining me as completely innocent and pure, like a doll you display on a high shelf to collect dust. Untouched. So when we broke up, I made the appointment almost immediately. For me these vines not only represent my love of nature but my freedom.

My espresso brown hair falls in loose curls behind my back and smoky eye and red lips to finish off my sultry look. It’s a bit bold but I feel the most like myself. Plus I look intimidating as hell if anyone tries to mess with Dana. I take one last look into the mirror before I head to her room and lean on the doorway. She is sitting at her vanity touching up her makeup and hair for the millionth time.

“You look perfect.” I say. She’s wearing a gorgeous royal blue chiffon flowing gown, her blonde hair half up in waves, with just pink lipstick, blush and some eyeliner that make her bright blue hopeful eyes pop.

Her eyes pull away from the mirror and she opens her mouth to say something just stops. She turns around, jaw dropping in shock.

“What?” I ask.

“You know for someone who claims they aren’t interested in finding their mate, your outfit didn’t get the memo. Every guy there is going to want to be your mate!”

“Oh shut up” I say jokingly as I come up and hug her from behind. “Listen, I want to talk to you real quick before we head out.”

“Yeah, what’s up?”

I sink down in the chair beside her and take her hands in mine. “I just want you to know that even if you don’t find your mate tonight, it’s ok. He could be from a pack that isn’t local or could be a little younger. Tonight should just be about having fun and if you happen to find your mate, amazing! I just don’t want you to be disappointed.”

“Mia everything will be fine! You worry about me too much. Plus nothing could be worse than your experience last year.” She teased with a smirk.

“You can say that again.” I chuckle. A heavy silence falls over us for a moment.

“Are you nervous about seeing him?” Dana asks.

“You can say his name, Dana. He’s not Voldemort.” I joke to cover the anxious feeling that’s building. Since finding his mate, Jackson is part of a ranked family in his new pack. All ranked families are required to attend. It’s a large party but he still has friends from our pack so I’m sure we will run into each other.

“Honestly, it’s been long enough. As awful as it was last year, I am happy Jackson found his mate. I just wish I hadn’t given in so easily to dating him seriously in the first place.” I explain.

“Knock, knock ladies! Time to get this show on the road!” Mom and dad come into the room. Dad is in a classic black tux with his brown hair gelled back with a light blue handkerchief to match my mom’s dress. My mom looks stunning as usual. They fit each other perfectly, and in a way my heart does ache for that undying connection. But tonight is not about me, it’s about my hopeless romantic sister and I am going to make sure she had the best night possible.

“Let’s do it! Come on Dana, let’s party it up!” I grab her by the hand as my parents lead the way out the packhouse and to the car. We’ll see what tonight has in store for all of us.