Behind Closed Doors

Chapter 6: Goodbye Letter

As Jeremiah pulls the all black SUV into the driveway of my packhouse, I can’t help but wonder if this is the last time I will see it and what my new home will look like. Damien said I would see my family again but what about my packhouse, my room, my friends? So many questions have been left unanswered and yet I am still idiotically jumping two feet into this mate bond. I am being stupid and reckless and yet with Damien sitting beside me, his scent washing over me, I feel my nerves calming and excitement rising. I must be going crazy. I need some fresh air.

I climb out of the car and hear the door from the other side open and close too. Jeremiah backs out of the driveway to go hide the car away from the house just in case anyone comes home early. When he does, Damien is standing in my driveway still.

Confused, I ask him, “What are you doing?”

He gives me an amused smirk that makes my heart stutter, “What kind of a mate would I be if I didn’t help you pack?”

Before I can argue, he makes his way to the door and into the packhouse. He continues to the stairs like he knows exactly where he is going.

We reach the staircase and I begin to say, “My room is…”

“I know.” He interrupts.

He has left me speechless more times tonight than in my entire life. I stop mid step but he keeps going.

“Your scent is like a beacon for me and I can smell it getting stronger up here.” He pauses. “It is completely addicting. I bet you taste just as good too.” He turns his head as he keeps walking to give me a sly smile. My face must be turning seven shades of red because he chuckles. Make that eight shades.

“Come on, little wolf.” He calls from the top of the staircase. Tripping over my own feet, I quickly climb the stairs to meet him. Even though he apparently knows where he is going, he lets me lead him down the hall to my bedroom. The tension from my nerves slowly migrates up my body as we get closer and it dawns on me how completely alone we are at this moment.

The sounds of our footsteps echoing off the walls ceases as we stand in front of my closed bedroom door. I feel the heat radiating off of Damien as he stands behind me expectantly. I hesitate momentarily, but after a second I reach out with a shaky hand to turn the knob. When my hand touches the knob I feel sparks of pleasure radiate from the skin on my bare back. A small moan escapes my lips.

Damien’s hand glides smoothly up my back, to my neck and into my hair. He grabs a handful and pulls my head back gently so my neck is exposed to him. He leans down to put his face right on my throat, it seems to be a favorite spot for him. I am already breathing faster when he whispers in my ear, “Don’t worry, Mia. We are just here to write a note and pack a bag for you.The first time my c**k will be inside of you will be in our bed and you’ll be begging for it.”

He releases my hair suddenly and it’s like a cold bucket of water dumped over my body. I crave for his hand to return and explore my body. I begin fantasizing about what those sparks would feel like kissing my lips. I want those sparks to devour me in pleasure until I forget who I am.

I shake the thoughts out of my head, we need to stay focused. Entering into the room I am suddenly self-conscious knowing how many details of my personality are exposed. My bookshelf reveals my expansive collection of stories on Greek and Roman mythology as well as my favorite classic novels. My record player sits open with the new Foo Fighters album resting in it, ready to be played. Photos of friends and family taped up around the edges of my vanity as a reminder of what I will be missing.

Sadness creeps into my chest but I push it away and try to stay on task. I gaze up at my devastatingly handsome mate as he slowly spins around the room, nodding and giving a small smile as he moves.

“What?” I wonder aloud.

“Nothing…. I just see we already have a lot in common. The moon goddess knew what she was doing.” I feel so exposed and naked right now. He was able to learn so much about me from my room and yet he is still surrounded by mystery. I wrap my arms around my body, a futile attempt to feel less on display.

Sensing my discomfort, he gives me a soft, kind smile and walks towards me. When he reaches me, he rubs his hands up and down my arms reassuringly and leans in to press a light kiss on my forehead. His lips linger for a few moments as we stand in silence. After a deep breath, he speaks, “Do you have a bag or suitcase somewhere in here?” His voice is slightly deeper and huskier than before, like he is holding back and I am not sure I want him to.

I point to the closet, afraid of how my own voice would sound right now. My mind and body are on different planets right now and I need to get them back to earth. My mind is telling me to focus on the letter I have to write to my family, but my body is telling is to shut up and let Damien bend me over and f**k me until I see stars.

Damien opens the closet and reaches up to pull down a large suitcase. My thoughts wander as my eyes take in his body. His arms are thick with muscles and his back flexes bringing down a suitcase. He twists to put it down on my bed, like it weighs nothing. He could pick me up like that any day. He looks down to open up my bag and I can’t tear my eyes away from his face. Dark stubble lines his sharp jaw. His near black hair is cut short on the sides and longer on the top. It is effortlessly tousled and looks soft as silk. I want to run my hands through them.

He bites his full lips and tightens his jaw. He closes his eyes and sucks in a deep breath through his nostrils. “If you keep eye f*****g me, we won’t be leaving this bedroom anytime soon.” He scolds me as his eyes roam my body.

I’m not sure if that was a threat or a challenge.

He sighs, “How about I start packing up some stuff for you and you can start on your letter?”

That sentence snaps me out of my trance. I nod and turn to sit at my desk. The drawer on the left makes a scraping sound as I open in to retrieve a sheet of paper and a pen. I stare at the empty lines, willing the words to magically scrawl upon the page. How do I even start this complete lie?

I let my fear for their safety drive me. I explain how happy I am for Dana finding her mate and want to find that happiness for myself. I apologize to my parents for leaving without saying goodbye but promise I will be back, even if that isn’t true. I tell them that Tyler can take over my training to become Beta of the Riverwood pack. That part hurts. I always wanted to take over as Beta, dreamed of it and was going to start training for the role soon. I thought maybe if I did meet my mate that he could come to my pack but now that I found my mate and he’s an alpha, he has more responsibility to his pack.

I finish my note with a plea not to look for me, saying that I need to be on my own. My heart breaks re-reading it. Lying to my family brings a profound guilt and not knowing when I will see them physically pains me, but if Damien really is a target and people could come after them because of it, I have to protect them in any way I can. I rise from my desk, fold the note and place it on my bed along with my phone. I can’t have them tracking me that way either. When I place it down, ten missed call notifications come up that I didn’t notice before.

“Are you ok?” Damien asks. His voice is gentle and sincere.

I look at him, holding back tears. ”No, but I need to protect them.”

He moves towards me and envelopes me in his arms. Cinnamon fills my nose and relaxes me.

“I am so sorry, Mia, but I promise I will do everything in my power to make it up to you and bring you back here when it is safe.” He says softly while running a hand down my hair.

I pull back from him to look into his eyes. “I’ve lived here my whole life, what is so dangerous here that you are trying to hide me from?”

Just then we hear the door of the packhouse slam shut.

“Mia!” I hear Dana shout.