That Day I Said I Love You

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Yoo Ae's POV

"Hey~ how are you? I'm sorry I left the restaurant without informing you last time. Just urgent matters happened and I needed to go back to Taiwan without even informing the other members. Could I make it up with you? How about I'll fetch you in your house at 11am?"

A message I received from Mark oppa a week after the ally incident, and a week after I learned everything about him and Seulgi.

Of course, he doesn't have any idea that I saw and overheard them talking, and that I heard their story from Jaebum oppa. Speaking of that guy. I think he has been avoiding me since that night.

He didn't attend all Philosophy classes this week. Well, we only have two classes.

GOT7 even practiced in his house instead of my brother's improvised studio in our old garage where they usually do.

After suddenly confessing in that way, he would get angry and avoid me?

You know what he did that night? He tidied everything and told me to ride back to the truck and we went back home. And I was to flustered to even comment, and just did what he told me. Never mind that guy if he doesn't want to show his face to me. As if I care. Hmpf! I.Don't.Care.

I got up from bed and replied to Mark Oppa.

"Aniyo. Let's meet at SUBWAY, 11:00 sharp. Can you please come earlier and order me a foot long hotdog sandwich with no pickles, more onions, no mustard, more mayo and ketchup? keke^^"

I still can remember his eyes when we were talking by the Han River.

He was sad. Really sad.

But one thing I wanna do after that day, that night after I learned about their story..

I wanna hear everything from Mark oppa. I wanna ask him face to face if he really is pretending to ask me out to gain information about Seulgi. I wanna ask him why he has to do that when he can just ask me directly about her. I wanna tell him face to face to stop all this act because no matter what, I'm still gonna help him.

Because as a fan, though it's hard, yes, I chose to totally accept that I am JUST a fan. I declared that I am his fan at the start of this story.

I decided that I will just end like any other fan when their idols decided to get married. Like what the ELFs felt when Sungmin announced his marriage.

This is what you call, LOVE IS SACRIFICE. Right? Co-fans?

As I was fixing myself to go out, I heard some noise coming from downstairs.

"Chinguya! Chinguya! Chinguya! Eodiega???"

That is for sure Jinyoung's voice.

My heart skipped. That means their group is here to practice.

Without thinking, I got out of my room and looked down to see them at our atrium.

"Chinguya! Yeogi!" I cheerfully greeted Jinyoung.

Jinyoung saw me. "Woah! What on earth happened?!" acting shocked. "You called me chinguya! And you look happy seeing me. OH.MY.GOD!"

"I'm taking it back!" I jokingly replied.

"Noona, annyeong!" the other guys waved at me with smiling faces.

I smiled and waved at them as my eyes quickly searched for him.

No. He isn't there.

My chest suddenly felt this weird pain that I have to hold it. Mwoya?

"Noona. Come here! We bought pizza!" invited Young Jae.

But I didn't hear any of their calling and conversation anymore.

I found myself feeling disappointed going back to my room.

Just then I realized how acted.

Omo! Aigoo! Did I just get disappointed that he didn't come?! WHY?! Why would I concern myaelf to that guy?! He is the one who confessed! He should be the one doing something to get my attention, right?!

'But aren't you disappointed that after confessing he didn't do anything at all, and just avoided you?' the little voice inside my head started interfering my thoughts again.

"IGNORE." I told myself. Then I went back to what I was doing. "Huh! I'm.going to meet Mark oppa and have fun."

Mark oppa was sitting beside the window when I arrived at SUBWAY. There was food on the table already.

I'm already beside the table but he seemed spaced out. He didn't notice I was already there.

"Ehem. Ehem." I faked a cough.

He looked surprised hearing my voice.

His eyes looked like he haven't slept for days, his hair is a mess, yet he looks handsome. Don't spazz, Yoo Ae.

I guess it's not the right timing for a hot heat.

"You're here." He said and stood to offer me the seat on the other side of the table. "Sit down please."

He sounded like he had been locked up in a room without food for three days.

"Gomawo, oppa." I thanked him and sat.

It doesn't make me feel good looking at him in that situation.

And as a fan, I believe that I have the responsibility to give my idol, at least, a little happiness. Right again, co-fans?

"So have you ordered what I messaged you, oppa?"

He looked confused. "Uhmm?"

I chuckled to lighten up the mood. "My order. Is this it?" pointing at the food in front of me.

"Oh yeah." Like he just realized what's currently happening. "That's it. Anymore you want to eat?"

I shook my head. "Aniyo."

He nodded. "How about drinks?" He offered me the large cola also on the table. "I don't know what you like so I just ordered cola."

"It's good, oppa." I smiled widely."Oppa.."

"Hmm?"

"Will you give me this day?"

"Huh?"

"To make up with our supposed to be past two dates. Give me just this day."

He smiled for the first time since I last saw him. "Sure. I can give you even tomorrow."

I chuckled. "Since when did you learn how to lip service, oppa?"

"Hmmm..." he acted like he was thinking. "Since I met you?"

I burst in laughter. Jinjja! I never imagined to hear something like this from a Mark Tuan.

"Don't laugh. It's true!" He said as a matter of factly.

"Heol. Anyway.." I calmed myself before continuing. "Give me this day but.."

"But?"

"Let's do what you want."

I shouldn't have told him to do what he wants.

I regretted that plan the moment I saw from the car while we were driving to the place we were headed to.

It's the Cheongpyeong River Land.

"Bungee jumping?" I felt like my knees has lost its strength as I followed him to the registration booth. "Are you sure this is what you wanna do?"

He nodded. "Eung."

"Why?"

"It's fun." He answered as he filled up the application form.

Omo! Omo! Please don't write my name. Please please please..

He gave the application form to the assigned person and paid for it. "Done. Leggo!" He told me smiling.

"Huh?" I heard him pretty well, but I just don't want those words to register in the cognitive part of my brain. "Am I going with you.. there?" slowly pointing up.

He just nodded.

My eyes widened. "Can't I just watch from here?"

He shook his head.

"Kwenchanha, oppa. I'll just be right here cheering for you." I told him with much hope he won't drag me up.

"Nah~" He said in his perfect American accent. "You told me to do what I want."

"Geuraesseo.. himnae!" (That's why.. way to go!) clenching my fist to cheer for him.

He closed his eyes and smiled while shaking his head. "No. That's not what I want to do."

"Then? What?" I asked confused.

He put his hands on my shoulders and leaned closer to whisper to me. "I wanna us to jump together."

"MWORAGO?!!!" eyes super wide-- wider than before, getting hesterical.

Mark oppa closed his eyes, shocked with my very loud voice. Even the people around us are looking at me weirdly.

Aside from the obvious fact that I really don't wanna jump. I must stop this! Oppa should not be doing this!

"OPPA! DON'T END YOUR LIFE JUST BECAUSE OF WHAT HAPPENED! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT?! JUMP TOGETHER?! DIE TOGETHER?! OPPA! WE'RE NOT ROMEO AND JULIET TO DIE TOGETHER!! I KNOW YOU'RE LONELY OPPA, BUT THERE IS STILL HOPE. HOW COULD YOU THINK OF---"

"Pssh.." his finger on my lips to stop me from screaming. He gave me a faint laugh. "What are you talking about? What happened? We are not going to die."

I looked at him straight though my vision is getting blurry and water is forming on my eyes. "Oppa. Andwe. This is not right, Oppa. God will not be happy if you end your life like this.."

He burst into laughter.

Jinjja! Mark oppa has became insane! Eotteokhae?

"OPPA! GET YOUR HEAD STRAIGHT, OPPA!"

"You're really funny, Yoo Ae." He then stopped laughing and put her hands on my shoulders once again. "Trust me."

We reached the top location, and I am geared with all the hooks and threads needed for the jump just because of Mark oppa's Trust Me seducing line. Heol.

And now my legs are shaking like forever. I never felt so nervous like this. I'm not even this nervous for my recital two days from now.

"You'll have to hold her asdfghjklzxcvbnmqwertyuiop.." Nothing from the ahjusshi's instructions that I understood.

"Ne." He answered and approached the ahjusshi after he finished buckling up his safety gear. What was the instructions? Why did oppa say yes?

"Arggghhh!" I screamed in surprise when he suddenly carried me in bridal position.

"You don't have to do anything, Yoo Ae." He uttered. "Just close your eyes."

My mind went blank and my muscles were all numb in fear.

And I don't know how many seconds past or what happened before it. But I just found myself screaming at the top of my lungs. My voice mixing with Mark oppa's screams of excitement, not knowing how tight I was hugging Mark oppa, as he jumped swinging 50 meters from the ground.

I was catching my breath when we landed on a speed boat.

"Woah!" Mark oppa still full of serotonin. "That was dope!" He exclaimed in English. He turned to me. "Ae, you okay?"

"After that..I d-don't know how long we've been hanging.. in the air, and all the screaming.." still catching up with my breathe and my very fast heartbeat.

Oppa was patiently waiting for my sentence to finish.

"DAEBAK!" giving him two thumbs up. "That was daebak, oppa! woah!"

"Seriously? You think it's fun?"

I nodded but changed my mind so I shook my head, but I think its kinda fun so I nodded again, but it was scary so I shook my head again.

"Huh?" He said laughing. "Mwoya?"

"Uhm.. well.." I sighed in difficulty to answer the question. "It's super scary, but hmmm.. I won't deny that after it, after screaming and getting scared so much, I felt like I've kinda emptied all the stress I collected for a while now." I nodded convincing myself. "Yeah. It's fun."

Mark oppa clapped his hands. "Exactly what I want to point out. Isn't it amazing how jumping that high makes your heart feel so light?"

I nodded in agreement. "Eung. Very unexpected."

"So you wanna try it again?"

"ANDWE!!!!"

And he burst into laughter for the nth time today. How many times did he laugh today? I lost count of it. I'm just glad seeing him laugh and smile like that.

"Do you wanna tell me or ask me something?" He asked.

"Eh?" I was shocked. Did he figured out I know about him and Seulgi already?

Then the memory of my screaming scene a while ago struck my head. Haist! I blurted it out! Face palm. Imaginary head slap please.

"Hey!" I was awoken again by Mark oppa's voice holding my arm.

Heol. I slapped my forehead in reality.

"What are you thinking?"

"Huh?"

Why do I feel like I don't wanna talk about it anymore?

Like I just wanna forget about it.

'But you have to make things clear and put things in the right way.' says my very intelligent conscience.

"Because oppa---"

"I was just asking because you were staring at me." Then he smiled. Half kneeling in front of me, he held my hand and said, "Thank you for trusting me up there."

I felt awkward.

He shouldn't be holding my hand right now.

He shouldn't be spending this day with me.

Because..

I'm not the right person who should be here having fun with him right now.

And I'm really feeling guilty for enjoying this moment.

I must really tell him what I know about.

We went out of the boat and reached the rocky land beside the sea.

He was walking in front of me. He is back to being quiet again.

I silently followed him walk.

Now, is the right time. "Oppa.."

He stopped and turned to me. "Hmm?"

"Geu..."

"You're hungry?" He walked back towards me. "There's a really good Chinese restaurant near here. Kaja?"

I nodded and walked side by side with him.

Why is it hard for me to tell him? I could just ask him straightforwardly everything, right?

If you think about the situation, he should be the one having this dilemma of how to tell me the truth, and I should be thinking of what I'll do to him once I learned the truth like slapping him, walking out, nagging him, etc. Why is the situation reversed?

"Yoo Ae-ah.."

"Huh?" I was startled by his sudden call.

Without looking at me he stated, "You're really amazing!"

"Eh?"

"You made me do things I have never done and haven't done for a long time." Then he faced me. "That's another thing I wanna thank you.. Thank you for reminding me of how to be me."

Now I know why I find it hard to talk to him about the issue even when I meticulously planned and thought of the words to say to him.

It's because..

There is a part of me that believes..

everything he had said and done..

are genuine.

are true.

are not pretenses.

And that the only thing I have to do now..

is trust him.

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