Shadowed Dreams & Rippled Water

White Room

Chapter 14

White Room

I slowly awoke, blinking open my eyes to find myself surrounded by blinding white walls of the white room. The same scentless, thick air enveloped me.

“No. Not here… Not again.” With every last bit of energy, I crawled to the closest wall and pounded my fists against it. “I need to get back now. Let me out!”

I couldn’t break through the unforgiving silk barrier but wasn’t giving in this time. Taking a deep breath, I stood and charged at it, using my entire body to hammer through. A dull pain throbbed up my arm. I ignored it and continued fighting for my way out.

“I can’t stay here, not now. I need to get back to Stacey! I won’t leave her alone. Let me out!”

The stubborn wall cracked beneath my fury, trembling with each collision. I blinked to find flecks of silk stuck to the tips of my lashes. “Come on, come on. Open now.”

Finally, after all my efforts, the wall flew back, spraying silver liquid all over me. It then sunk into the dark abyss until it was gone entirely.

I collapsed on all fours, clutching my chest as I gathered back my strength. Slithers of the river’s strange water dripped from my clothes. “What am I doing here?”

Waves of metallic lavender and deep grey splashed against the dome walls. I shook it from my head and got back up on my feet. Shivers ripped through my spine, and the heaviness of the lightning storm above made my hair static and stand on end.

“Dad, are you in here?” I called. “I want to go home... Stacey needs me.”

“Lucy,” Dad answered. I knew it was him when his smooth, kind voice reached my ears.

“Dad, where are you?” I turned in a circle, finding myself surrounded by an endless river. “Dad...?”

Clouds swirled across the dome-like roof, turning the liquid into a kaleidoscope of colour at my feet.

“I’m over here, sweet child…”

Startled, I stumbled backwards, tripping into the river and landing on my side. It wasn’t as deep or as cold as I had expected.

“Dad…” I wiped the liquid from my eyes and sat up.

A shadowed figure appeared before me. It took a few short steps, stopped at my feet, leaned down and offered a hand. I accepted its offer, and he pulled me to my feet. Familiar warmth coursed through my body, like I had been submerged in one of Dad’s hugs.

“It’s you…” I wrapped my arms around him, nestling my cheek against where his chest would be, hoping to drive away the shadows. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you too, my sweet child...” He whispered as the grey shadow lifted.

There, in all his handsomeness, was Dad, his charming blue eyes gleaming back at me with the affection I had missed tremendously. He kissed my head with his thin lips. I clung to his white shirt and buried my face into his broad chest, refusing ever to let go again.

“Don’t leave me again,” I pleaded. “Never, I beg you!”

“Lucy, child, I can’t lie to you… I’ve summoned you here for a reason.” He lifted my chin and peered into my eyes. “I’m here as your guide...”

“Guide…?”

“I’ve been given a job,” he said, holding me at arm’s length. “They sent me here to give you information, to guide you through this... I am your vision guide…”

“They?” I locked my fingers between his. “Vision guide?” I shook my head. “I don’t understand…”

Blue lightning flashed across the dome sky, turning the river into a magical rainbow of silver, gold and turquoise blue as it rippled around us.

Trembling, I tightened my grip. “Dad, I’m scared, and I don’t understand… Why am I here?”

“For this,” he gestured his chin beyond us, deep into the river. “I’m your guide… I’m sent to guide you through the visions that play out in your dreams.”

“I don’t understand…” I shook my head. “Visions…”

“Please watch…” Dad insisted, waving a hand at the river. His deep voice was urgent. His smile turned into a sober line. The brightness in his eyes faded. “What you see is what has happened or will happen.”

His hands began to slip from my grip.

I grabbed him again. “I don’t understand…?”

“What you’re about to see is a vision of what is happening now…” he explained.

Behind me, nimble footsteps splashed through the river, and a child’s laughter filled the room. I spun around, and to my surprise, I found Stacey kneeling in the river, slapping the water. She laughed every time a silver drop splashed over her face.

“Stacey!” I gasped, “Be careful...”

Stacey didn’t look up, nor did she move.

“Stacey, it’s your Sissy...” A twinge of fear churned in my stomach. “I’m over here!” I faced Dad. “Why is she not answering? Can’t she hear me?”

“This is not a normal dream as you might believe...” Shaking his head, he peered past me. “This is a dream vision. Stacey is in a coma... And what you’re seeing right now is what she is dreaming...”

Stacey climbed to her feet and spun, her dark dress twirling around her. A single black rose was pinned to her mousy-brown ringlets, making her look like a miniature version of Mum.

“Stacey, over here,” I called again, waving my hands to get her attention. “Sissy, answer me. Can she hear me?”

“No,” he shook his head.

Around me, sparks of electricity buzzed and hissed like angry snakes. I jumped back and clung to Dad.

Stacey froze mid-motion, opened her mouth in a wail, and collapsed to her knees. She squirmed and screamed, clutching at her head.

“Dad, help her!” I shouted, pulling desperately at his shirt. “Please.”

Inhaling a skipped breath, he lowered his gaze. “I can’t.”

“What are you doing?” I shouted at him. “Why aren’t you helping her?”

Stacey’s cries ripped through me like a hundred sharp knives. “There’s something wrong with her head. Save her, Dad!”

He shook his head. “It’s a vision… She’s waking up… and she’s in pain.”

“I’m coming to help you, Sissy. Hold on. Pulling away from him, I staggered towards Stacey. With each step, my knees trembled beneath me. “Fight it, Stacey!”

“You can’t help her…” Dad whispered.

Frowning through heated tears, I continued to move towards her. “But no matter how close I got, she seemed to move further away. “Stacey!”

With one last whimper, Stacey’s body grew motionless. The water rippled around her as she disappeared, leaving a deep, bedded emptiness in my chest.

I froze and collapsed to my knees. “No, Stacey, you can’t die. You can't. No...! No!”

Dad’s hand landed on my shoulder. “I know this is hard. It’s excruciating for me to watch, but there is nothing I can do... I’m a guide.”

Shaking my head, I buried my face in my hands. “Why?”

“Please, I’m merely a messenger. I can’t change the future.” He kneeled beside me. “But in some cases, you can, Lucy. I will show you, and you will do the rest.”

“W-what am I meant to do?” I sniffed, peering up at him.

Dad exhaled and pulled me into his embrace. “There’s nothing you can do. Stacey is dying. She only has a few months—until the early morning of the eighth of August. I’m sorry…”

“What, no,” I trembled. “Make it just another nightmare! I can’t stand seeing her like this. She’s so young. Dad, make her better, please.”

He rocked me back and forth. I was a child the last time he had held me like this. “Hush, my sweet, hush.”

“This can’t happen! She needs me… I need her.”

“I’m sorry I can’t do more than this.” He stood, lifting me with him. “And I’m sorry I must go. They’re calling me…”

Helpless, I clawed at the front of his shirt. “No, don’t go. Ask them to let you stay.”

“I’m sorry, I must go. But I’ll always be in your heart,” he said, placing a finger against my temple. “And in here…”

“I don’t want to lose you again...”

“Oh, sweet child, you never lost me.” Dad smiled softly. “I’ve always been with you, guiding you, protecting you. I’ll always be here—in this place. Whenever you need me, I will be here. Whenever I need you, you will see me here. I’m here to guide you through this gift when you open your mind enough for me.”

“I don’t understand. If this is a gift, take it back. I don’t want to be here. I want Stacey to live!”

He began to waver in and out of focus. Little by little, his body merged into the air until nothing remained.

“Dad, come back,” I cried. “Please come back.”

“Whenever you need me, I will be here... whenever I need you, you will see me here. Now wake up.”

***

Panting, I woke to find myself in bed. There was a pressure on my chest, as though someone was standing on me. Tears had soaked through my pillow, and my blankets had been thrown askew over the edge of my bed. A sharp pain shot through my skull and stung the back of my eyes. Cringing, I sat up and massaged my temples. There was a foul taste down the back of my throat, a metallic taste that made my gag reflex squirm. I touched my nose and looked at my hand. Blood dribbled between my fingers.

“Ow!” I winced. “Ah, what’s wrong with me? What’s going on?”

A pressure was forming in my head. The minute I attempted to move, nausea took over. I dug my nails into my bed to hold my balance. The whole room was dark. How long had I been asleep? It had all been so real—the wall, the river, Dad, and Stacey.

I wiped my eyes. “Why did you leave me, Dad? You said you’d be there whenever I needed you, but you left anyway. Why aren’t you here now? I need you.”

There was no sign of him in my room, not that I had expected there to be. A part of me wished he would jump out from hiding. “It must have been a nightmare!”

“Believe, Lucy, you have the gift of foresight.” A whisper of Dad’s voice whirled around me. “It was a vision of what’s to come. Believe in the vision. Trust your gift.”

“Vision ... Stacey ...” Struggling against gravity, I pulled myself to the very edge of my bed. “Stacey, I have to know if you’re awake.” The second I stumbled to stand, my knees buckled under me. “Ah, owe, it hurts.”

An earthquake had erupted in my head. The walls and everything around me trembled. “What’s wrong with me? I don’t understand what is going on!”

A beam of early morning sunlight pierced through my curtains, reaching to cover the entire floor.

“Find your feet...”

“I can’t… Everything’s trembling...”

“Please try... get up and try…”

Weak-legged, I got to my feet and made my way to the window, throwing open the curtains. Every inch of my head throbbed, worse than any headache I had experienced. I lay my forehead against the cold glass window, but it didn’t give me the desired soothing effect.

Below, Dylan and Kane were emptying the back of their tray-top work Ute and lining the side of the house with planks of wood and cans of paint. Dylan had his cap on backwards, and Kane had his sunglasses on the top of his head. I couldn't see their faces.

“Stacey,” I glanced at the photograph on my dressing table. “Oh, Sissy, you don’t deserve to die. It’s not right. Three months left with you is not enough. I’m supposed to help show you the world as you grow, now... I can’t.”

The crackle of tyres rustling up the driveway caught my attention. I peered down, and there was Malcolm’s sleek, polished car, with Malcolm behind the wheel and a carload of shopping in the back seat.

Sluggishly, I turned from the window. When I caught the reflection of a pale, thin girl with blood smeared over her face in the mirror, I froze. Blood had stained the front of her shirt… She looked like someone who had come out of a fistfight and had lost. I blinked and realised this girl was me. Someone had changed my clothes and put me into a satin pyjama set. It was something I would never wear.

“Who put me in this? Who had the nerve to dress me while I was asleep? It’s an invasion of my privacy!” I unbuttoned my shirt and threw it across the room.

As I searched for clothes, I noticed a long black dress hanging over my dressing table chair, with a pair of black sandals beneath.

“Valery!” I hissed, and I could imagine steam exploding from my ears. “This is wrong. How dare you! I told you to leave me alone!”

Mumbling under my breath, I pushed the clothes off and watched them crumple on the floor. I pulled open my dresser drawers, slid on a bra, and slipped on a dark red top and black pants. The stabbing ache inside my head had travelled to my eyes. It was difficult to ignore as I zipped up my pants. “Ow, I wish this would go.”

In too much agony to care what monster I resembled, I left my hair as it was and stormed down to the bathroom and washed my face, removing any traces of the blood. My head spun, making everything blurry around me. Queasy, my stomach knotting inside, I left the bathroom and headed for the stairs.

I collapsed on landing above the top step and lay with my head in my hands. “Stop, make it stop.”