Shadowed Dreams & Rippled Water

Lucy's Nightmare

Five

Lucy’s Nightmare

With every shallow breath, I could taste the stale scent of decay and pine in the chilly midday air. Never before had I been so hollow inside. I knew my heart was still beating, but it was faint and weak. I could barely feel it.

Why did this happen? Why was he taken from me?

My eyes burned with tears. They trailed down my cheeks, staining my fair skin. It hurt. Without Dean, I feared the pain would never end.

With all the strength I could muster, I reached for the scrolled headstone. It was cold and smooth to the touch. All the tiny hairs on my arms stood on end. I was utterly alone. All that was now left of the one I loved so much was the marble beneath my hand. I miss you.

The words engraved into the headstone would be trapped in my memory forever. Here lies Dean Birdsly, beloved brother and much-loved son. Forever missed and never forgotten.

“This isn’t right. You shouldn’t be here, not you. How could this happen?”

A looming grey sky stretched for as far as the eye could see. Rain continued streaming against the fence and over the carpark. It had been like this from the moment I had arrived. Now, it was heavier, racing in my direction.

“Why did this happen?” Trembling, I pulled away and wrapped my arms around myself.

I wanted to run, leave, never look back, and return home to find Dean in the kitchen. He would create his next meal there, enjoying every movement and scent that filled the air. But if I returned home now, the house would be nothing more than an empty shell, filled with lost moments I would never relive again.

“Oh, I wish I could go back in time, make it stop, and bring you back to life again.”

Unable to handle the pain a moment longer, I turned my gaze from the headstone, hoping it would ease, but it chiselled away at my soul. “I wish you could come back to me.”

I inhaled a skipped breath and turned towards the dark hill of weathered headstones. Strands of my long black hair billowed around my face, lapping like whips against my shoulders. In the distance, I could scarcely make out the cold grey arms of the wrought iron fences built to cradle the remains of the deceased—to keep the past inside. At this very moment, they fought to keep the weather at bay, and they were losing. “Rain, we don’t need rain, not today.”

Mourners dressed in black were scattered throughout the maze of submerged gravel paths. They concealed themselves beneath open umbrellas, struggling against the storm’s icy fury.

The storm was building strength, and I could barely stay anchored to the ground. It tugged belligerently at the gathering mourners as they attempted to stand beside me. A wicker basket by my foot took flight, spilling faded red roses over the vibrant blue cloth draped over Dean’s coffin.

“Oh,” I leant down and scooped up a rose resting on the earth before me. It drooped listlessly in my hands. “Why...?”

Heavy raindrops rained over me, loosening the remaining leaf tethered to the withered rose stem. The last feeble thread snapped away, and the leaf took flight, losing itself in the brutality of the wind.

In a way, I understood how it felt. I desperately clung to Dean’s memories to hold onto a piece of him. Now, I was left to face the world alone! I was the frail leaf. “This isn’t right. He should be alive, laughing and smiling again.”

An echoing clap of lightning shot through the sky, slicing a gap between the clouds. The rose slipped from my hands and vanished into the storm. “I’m scared without you.”

“Mother Nature, she’s in a hell of a bad mood today,” shouted a distant voice. “She’s got it in for someone.”

“Oh, this isn’t fair!”

I yearned to see Dean’s dimpled smile, hear his contagious laughter, and breathe in the spicy scent of the deodorant he left lingering in a room. “I’ll never forget you.”

Desperate to relive our childhood, I closed my eyes and travelled back through the memories. From the very beginning, he had been there. We had always been so close. It was his name I spoke first. Even now, I could imagine the pride in his voice as he ran to Mum and told her. When I took my first steps, I held his hand. Even now, I could feel my tiny fingers gripping his palm, which was slightly bigger than mine. Opening my eyes, I found myself back in the cemetery.

“Lucy lady,” his voice rang like a comforting distant whisper to my ears. I wanted so much to hold onto it.

“I was and always will be your Lucy lady. No one will ever replace you.”

Not one single space beside me was empty now. These people were here like me because they were privileged to have Dean in their lives. They continued to gather through the paths like busy black ants. There were faces I knew—my twin brothers, Kane and Dylan, and my baby sister, Stacey. There were many I didn’t recognise and others with their faces hidden behind veils and jackets.

Thunder rumbled the ground, and worried whispers rushed around me. I peered over my shoulder but couldn’t tell where they came from. A hushed silence fell. The crowd parted, and a figure emerged. People bowed in respect, letting this figure pass through.

When my eyes fell upon old Father McIntire, the priest from our local church, I couldn’t breathe. The wrinkles on his cheeks were folded beneath the weight of his thick bottle-top glasses. His forlorn expression created lines around his thin, pale lips. He had conducted Dad’s funeral service, and nothing about him had changed in that time. Father McIntire was only ever around at funerals, so seeing him here was unwanted proof that this was real.

“No,” shaking my head, I reached for his robe. The damp silk slipped through my fingers. I tried again and again. I couldn’t grasp it. He paused across from the coffin, embracing a closed Bible against his chest. Why had he ignored me?

“Make this stop, Father. Please bring Dean back. He’s too young to die,” I pleaded, stepping before him. I clasped my hands in a praying motion below my chin. “Father, please help me stop this. His family needs him so much. I need him.”

Father McIntire peered straight through me as though I wasn’t there. The wind caught the golden tassels of his silk stole, propelling them in different directions. But even in the storm’s rage, he remained perfectly still.

“Father, can you hear me? Look at me! It’s Lucy Birdsly. Make this stop!” No matter how much I pleaded with him, my words fell on deaf ears, and I couldn’t understand why.

I trembled in my rain-drenched dress as he traced a cross in the air before opening the Bible and beginning his prayer. I strained my ears to hear his hushed words against the drone of rain on the ground.

“Father, Father McIntire, can you hear me?” I shouted, waving my arms before his face. The livid rumble of thunder drowned out my words. “Please listen to me. I’m here. Look at me!”

Not once did his eyes stray from the page or glance my way. Was I invisible?

Suddenly, it was darker, the pressure of the clouds suffocating me from above. I turned to the people closest, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t distinguish their faces. Who were they? Where were Kane, Dylan, Stacey and Mum?

“What’s going on?” I shook the arm of a man beside me. He didn’t move or speak; his gaze remained fixed on the priest. I shook him harder. “Why won’t you look at me? Please, stop this. I don’t want to say goodbye!”

A flash of lightning brightened the sky. I stumbled backwards, but no one noticed me. Father McIntire glanced up from over the top of his glasses.

“Can’t you see me...? Can you hear me?” I screamed at him. Trembling, I reached across and yanked on his robe again. My arms grew weaker as I continued tugging until it slipped free. “Please make this stop…!”

He didn’t flinch or turn to me as another bright flash shot through the sky. I recoiled from it, collapsed to the ground and hugged myself. Beside me, Dean’s coffin began to shudder, sinking deeper into the hole beneath.

“No,” I wailed, clawing at the lid, trying to draw it to the surface again. “I love you! Please don’t go!”

Shoes appeared beside me, scattering tiny gravel stones over the coffin lid. I saw Mum staring down at me through the veil of my soaking fringe. Without speaking, she offered her lace-gloved hand, flexing her fingers for me to take. “Lucy ...”

“Why won’t he listen to me?” I demanded to know. Ignoring her hand, I sat back on my heels. “Why won’t he bring Dean back?” Shielding my face from the stinging rain, I glared at her. Still, it didn’t break her unwelcome silence. “It’s Dean, Mum. You know, your oldest son! We need to bring him back, please?”

Lightning crashed through the sky again, and I could see Mum’s empty and distant eyes in the white glow.

“What’s going on? Why aren’t they looking at me? Why won’t you answer me?” The panic in my voice rattled in my ears. “Look at me, I’m here!”

She didn’t reply. She didn’t move.

I slammed my fists against the ground, flicking flecks of mud over me. “Please make it stop.” My saturated hair drooped back over my face. Hiding behind it, I gave into my sorrow and cried into my hands. “Please…”

“Can you hear me?”

“Was that you, Mum?” I grabbed the hem of her dress. “Please answer me.”

“Lucy...”

“Did you hear that?” I gasped. “Please tell me you heard that?”

An eerie breath vibrated down my spine. I shivered. Blinking slowly, I peered over my shoulder. The storm stopped as suddenly as it began. An inky darkness seeped between the iron gates and spread over the cemetery, consuming everything and everyone along with it.

“Mum, where are you?” I screamed as the darkness closed in around me. “No! Don’t leave me!”

There was no reply. I glanced back at where she had been standing. She had vanished, leaving behind a single red rose. “Please, don’t leave me here!”

“Lucy...”

Again, the voice called to me. I climbed to my feet. “Help me…”

“Lucy...”

I spun around and found only darkness. My heart leapt into the back of my throat. “Where is everyone?”

A low groan rumbled through the air behind me. It drew closer, pushing through the darkness until it was breathing down my neck. Trembling, I spun around. There, towering over me, was an enormous, shadowed figure. My heart stopped, then started again with a sudden thud. Each beat grew faster, throbbing within my chest.

“Leave me alone!” I screamed, backing away from it. My stomach tightened, making my bile rise in my throat. “Someone, help me.”

The figure moved forward, reaching a shadowed hand towards me.

“Leave me alone, stay back...! Don’t come anywhere near me!”

The ground quaked beneath me, knocking me off my feet and tossing me hard against the ground.

“Ow...” I hissed, clutching at my side, expecting pain but not feeling it. Wheezing, I clambered back to my feet. “Someone help me–”

There was a loud crack, and brown earth rose like a wave before my eyes. It plummeted towards me. I leapt out of its path, scampering to my feet. It followed, whipping at my legs, trying to pull me under. A scream caught in my throat as I gripped the edge of a disintegrating tombstone and attempted to escape. The wave fell over me, and I thrashed against it. Then I slid backward, clawing at the crumbling earth as I was pulled into nothingness.

“Help...!” I cried, landing with an echoing splash in a pool of shimmering metallic-like water. “No...!”

There had to be a way out. I reached for something—anything to pull myself free. The water began rising, higher and higher, its wet fingers slapping against my skin. It was getting harder to breathe.

“Lucy ...”

“Over here!” I shouted, frantically fighting to keep myself afloat.

This was the end. There was no escape. Gasping one last breath, I sank under the water. There was a flash of white light, and then there was nothing.

“Wake up, wake up, it’s just a nightmare...”