Love and Lust

chapter two

I really do not understand how my parents live so comfortably

in mediocrity. Mum is content with the peanuts she makes from

her little provision store. My dad seems to be comfortable with

his job as a civil servant that can barely pay for our rent and

other bills. Sometimes, the government even delays his salary,

and the family suffers dearly for it. I cannot count how many

times I was sent home from school over a delay in the payment

of school fees, so it wasn’t much of a surprise to see my younger

brother and sister walk in at 10 a.m on a school day. Martha

was in tears but I already knew her answer, but I asked anyway.

“Michael, why are you both home at this time, and why is

Martha crying?”

“The school sent us home because our fees haven’t been paid,”

he replied.

“Sister, they even asked us not to come back,” Martha said as

tears kept flowing down her face, “Because we owe every term.

They embarrassed us in front of the class.”

I pulled her close and hugged her. “Please, stop crying. Don’t

worry, when Daddy comes back, we will sort it out.

I felt very bad because I knew how embarrassing it must have

been for them. I endured the same humiliation myself as a

student, and most times, I cried myself to sleep for many nights.

I had to figure out a way to make my younger ones happy. Out

of the N5, 000 Rita gave me to pick a cab on Saturday, I had

already spent N1, 500 on a pair of sandals, and N1000 on

matching panties and bra. None of my worn out shoes went

with the dresses Rita had given to me, and I was ashamed to ask

her for sandals after she had given me money, dresses, and lent

me a wig. I also needed a decent lingerie just in case something

happened with Mr James.

I figured that the best thing to do for my siblings at the moment

was to buy them ice cream and donuts. That would definitely

make them feel better. I thought about the lovely fast food place

just around the filling station, about 5 minutes away. If I spend

N1, 000 out of the N2500 remaining, I would be left with N1,

500, which would no longer be enough for a cab to GRA. I

knew Rita wouldn’t be happy with me squeezing into a shared

taxi to see Mr James but at this point, I didn’t think I had a

choice. It was my duty to make my younger brother and sister

happy. My heart was sad and my head was filled with thoughts

of making it in life, earning good money, taking good care of

them, and being a good role model to them.

“Michael, Martha, go and take your baths. Put on something

nice, we are going to an eatery right away.”

“Sister, with which money?” Martha asked.

“Don’t ask questions, just do as I say.”

They put on the best they had, which was their “Christmasclothes” as Nigerians would say, and their mood lightened up a

bit. We joined a taxi to the eatery and when we arrived, the

waitress pointed to a corner so we could sit.

“What would you like ma?” she asked.

“Two donuts and a mini bowl of vanilla ice cream please,” I

answered.

“Sister, please I want chocolate ice cream, I don’t like vanilla,”

Michael said.

“OK, chocolate it is then,” I said, turning to the waitress.

“What about you ma, what would you like to have?” she asked,

looking directly at me.

“Nothing, I’m OK. Please what’s the total cost?”

“N1,500,” she said.

I was taken aback. “Ah, for two donuts and one bowl of ice

cream? How come?”

“Our prices were recently reviewed ma.”

This was way above my budget. If I had come alone, I would

have picked up my purse and left quietly, but I took one look at

the eager faces in front of me and knew there was nothing I

could do but to succumb.

“Okay, let’s have them please,” I said.

I was upset at myself for spending more than I bargained for,

but I wanted to do anything possible to keep the twins happy.

The snacks arrived and their faces brightened up. I was happy Imade a difference, albeit in a small way. They ate slowly and

chatted about their school mates. They were more concerned

about whether anyone would still want to be their friend when

they got back to school, and I thought that was sad.

“Listen, real friends would never change because of mere school

fees. Anyone who stops being your friend because you were sent

home over school fees was never truly your friend in the first

place. You understand?”

They nodded their heads in agreement.

“It’s getting late, finish up let’s go home.”

“OK sister,” Martha said.

Mum and Dad were already home when we returned.

“Where are you people coming from?” they asked in unison.

My siblings turned to me, not sure on what answer to give.

I quickly replied, “They were sent home because they haven’t paid

their fees, and they were even asked not to come back because it

happens every term. Martha came back home crying, so I decided

we should go out for some fresh air to cheer them up.”

On a good day, my parents would have probed further, wanting

to know where exactly we went to, but the news about the

school fees was too disheartening, which prompted them not to

push further with more questions. They looked at each other in

disappointment, then my Dad cleared his throat.

“We will figure out a way for both of you to return to school

next week, OK?” My father said.The twins nodded, while I looked on irritated. Same old line I had

heard every time I was sent home over school fees, we will figure

out a way. It usually meant I would spend a week out of school,

then return to at least two weeks of struggling to catch up and

begging my classmates for their notebooks so I could stay up late

copying the notes from the classes I had missed. Tears stung my

eyes at the memory. Dad was a man of few words. To many, it

was an admirable quality but to me it was the opposite, because it

went hand in hand with his laidback attitude to life which my

very soul despised. Why couldn’t he just make an effort to get

more out of life than to be stuck on a spot?

“Cecilia, please, you will coach your younger ones in the

meantime, so they don’t stay idle. By God’s grace, they should

be back in school next week,” my mother said.

“OK Mummy, I will,” I agreed without hesitation. I would

possibly do anything to help my siblings.

“I bought a form for you,” she said, handing me a brown

envelope.

I looked at her smiling face as I took the envelope, trying to

imagine what she was so pleased about. I took out the form and

it was an application form for a tailoring course.

Mentally, my eyes rolled into the back of my head, but I

plastered a fake smile on my face. I didn’t want to burst her

bubble at that moment, since there were more pressing issues at

hand. I remained calm.

“Thank you Mummy,” I said, and walked away to my room.

I could think of nothing but Saturday