My blue eyed man

Chapter 7. Nervous as hell

As I finally open the message all it said was I'm sorry. And of course my childish side came out and said who this lost all my contacts? He replied back wow..... well can you at least let me explain myself I know you know who this is there's no reason for you to act like that! I looked over at Cheyenne and asked her what do you think I should say because I really don't know I'm so irritated at him. She told me to calm down and ask him what his reason was I mean I guess that's fair all I want it all day wasn't! Here I was acting like a child and huffing and puffing and throwing a temper tantrum. Before I can reply back he sent me a picture of himself with a sad face I must admit it made me smile seeing him trying to get my attention for once. In the text came through again and he said come on how can you resist this face and added what if I send you a picture of tears coming down would that make you answer me??? And then another one came to come on talk to me please I'm about to get on my knees and beg I'll send you pictures to prove it. I don't know why he is acting like this now cause he seemed to not care so much before I wonder what has changed but I sure was loving it. Before he can send another one I finally replied ok ok ok you win tell me you reason I looked for you all day to walk in and you never showed then you didn't even give me the respect to even text me and tell me that you had a change of plans you let me down a little bit I know we have not talked long but I thought we might have had something but it looks like it's only one sided. Little bubbles popped up on the phone when he was replying back but then they just stop and then reappear then stop again and then reappear and stop again this went on for about five minutes when finally a text came through. His response pissed me off but I guess I can see it maybe I don't know "i'm sorry I left my phone at home I didn't realize I left it on my bed when I walked out the door I didn't mean to hurt you or disrespect you in any way I'm only human I make mistakes" . Cheyenne told me to stop it if I keep being hateful and he is gonna walk away no one wants to deal with that drama this early into whatever we are. So I looked down at my phone and replied back you're right i'm sorry at least you took the time to tell me now but don't let it happen again I added with a little lol at the end that way he thought I was just kidding around with him but really I was still pissed but he really does not need to know that I'm sure I'll get over it soon anyway. He wrote something else but now I was getting irritated at her I looked at her and I said will you give me my damn fries now I open the text message and talked to him now give me your part of the deal! As I looked at the fries I decided to be a little smart ass and dip it in a ketchup packet and start talking out loud going oh my true love how have I longed for you for so long smearing the catch up on my lips when I knew she looked at me and then I bit the head off. She told me why you knock it off you may be drunk but I'll still kick your a** you nasty a**! I told her you're just jealous because I love my fries more than you she replied back well then I guess your fries can give you a ride home smart a**!

When I finally got to bed I open my phone and finally read his texts message. Asking if I would be at work again tomorrow I told him fortunately no I'm off tomorrow. He said really now do you have any plans after 5 o'clock? I said no no why you ask? He replied with well I don't either but I think I might have some now if this girl Im talking to agrees to it lol . Oh really now and what if she refuses lol? I say back. Well if she says no I guess I'll have to go home alone and cry in a corner and say w whoa is me my life is over lol. This man is such a goofball. After a little while or flirting with him back-and-forth I finally decided to take his invitation. I asked him what would we do? His response next week made me set up in bed and my face turn red. " I wanna kiss your lips I wish they we're here now just so I can". Before I could reply back I received a text message from him saying I have to go to bed now just so I'm well rested for you. He ended the text with a Kissy face and a good night. I replied back with the same thing . As I laid there in bed staring up at the ceiling excited and freaking out at the exact same time saying and I really gonna do this I've never done this before I don't even know this man. And then the negative thoughts started to appear in my head what if we have s*x what if I'm not any good I've only been with one other man and what if he's been with multiple women who are well more experience than me what if he has some kind of STD? What if he still lives with his baby mama he never exactly told me that they didn't live together anymore I've heard in some places even after people break up they "stay friends" and live together so that it doesn't mess with the child what if he just gonna see me as a booty call then or someone can use whatever he wants??? I just need to stop this is making me overwhelmed here I am finally getting what I want to spend some alone time with him for once just us and I'm gonna mess it up by over thinking everythinking things before they even start. curse my woman brain I say a loud and roll my eyes at myself just stop thinking about it close your eyes and just sleep. But unfortunately I couldn't sleep I laid there tossing and turning all night till I looked at the clock seeing it was 4 o'clock in the morning. Great I thought to myself now I'm gonna be exhausted just close your freaking eyes already and sleep I told myself! I finally drifted off to sleep.

My alarm went off at 8 o'clock and I just hit the snooze button because there is no way in h*** I was getting up already. but then it hit me oh my God today's the day then I got too excited and got up at a bed and set a alarm on my phone for 4 o'clock that way I had an hour to at least call my nerves beforehand this is something I've never done before so I don't know how I was gonna handle it once it came time. I started my day off with a hot shower I was gonna start getting dressed for tonight but then I thought to myself if I do it now my clothes will no longer be tight to my body will become baggy after being worn all day so I decided I'll just go on some sweats and a baggy T-shirt for now it's not like I'm going anywhere right now I'm just gonna be hanging out in my apartment all day. I made my way down the stairs and saw Cheyenne sitting at the table all dressed up for work. I asked her I thought you were off today too she replied back with well I was supposed to be but Sarah decided to get arrested last night for a bar fight again! I swear all she does is look for trouble I don't know why she can't just think before she acts on her impulses The rest of the world does it I don't see why she can't. I asked her do you know what caused the bar fight this time? She responded with I guess there was some guy she was trying to hook up with and then some girl named Hannah was his girlfriend told her to back off and then he was taken but you know Sarah once she see something wants she's gonna go for it and well one thing led to another and punches were swung but she took it too far and decide to take a beer bottle across the unexpected girls head whenever Hannah got a good swing in and knocked her into the ground. As she was talking I was imagining the whole thing in my head and I must admit I bet that was a pretty good fight I wish I could've been there to see it. As I was in my own little thought Cheyenne told me she was heading out now to get to work and then she won't be back until later on today and I informed her well I won't be waiting up for you I don't know what time I'll be back I have plans tonight she looked back at me and said with who and I said the mysterious stranger she said no way it's finally happening I said yes with a grin on my face. She said it's about damn time took y'all long enough this is been going on for weeks now well for you anyways I don't know about him she said with a laugh. As she was about to close the door she says well you too have fun and don't do anything I wouldn't do except I don't listen to his pull out game you don't wanna end up like me and she rubbed her belly with a smile on her face. I must admit I think she's starting to like the idea of being a mom I believe she'll be a great mom she certainly has grown up a lot more then me.

The only thing to do around here is either clean or watch some TV so course I'm going to pick watch some TV over cleaning I mean wouldn't anybody else I thought to my self. As I'm flipping through the channels there's literally nothing on the thing on is infomercials and old TV shows for old people like HD TV or antique roadshow this is why I wish we had some real cable TV instead of an antenna. Before I know it already made my way back around again to the beginning of the list until I settled on American dad honestly I don't really care for but it's better than nothing I thought to myself. As I said there I must have fallen asleep without realizing it as my alarm was going off. I thought to myself oh crap oh crap I still need to take a shower and debating on if I really wanted to shave my legs or not I don't even know if we're gonna be doing that or not I thought to myself man it's been too long I went ahead and did it just in case you know just cause I do it doesn't mean I have to sleep with him better prepared than not I guess. Once I got out I blow dried my hair and did my make up exactly how I did it the other day but this time I need to have more patience and go a little bit slower then before I decided to wear my skirt with my leggings underneath and wore my see-through black sweater with the wife beater underneath and black sandals. As I admiring myself in the mirror I get a text from him saying i'm a little embarrassed but I don't know where you live I never exactly asked you that lol. I told him that's ok I never really thought about that particular and I sent him my address.

About 15 minutes later he arrives and he sends me a text saying I'm out front in the white Chevy truck. I started having a panic attack freaking out to my self pacing back-and-forth going and I'm really gonna do this you can do that Hillary you could do this stop being a baby and as I'm reaching for the door handle I start up again and walk away go on maybe I should go back upstairs and say I'm not feeling well! He send me another text saying are you sure I'm at the right address I don't see you anywhere? Finally I have a little peptalk with myself in the mirror say just breathe it's all gonna be ok. Instead of replying back to him I walk outside and I see him my face all red blushing or panicking at the same time hoping he can't tell that I am. Open the door and due to the fact I'm a little short than most women for 4'11 sucks I might add mostly due to the fact that his pick up truck was pretty high up and I had to get in trying to not look like a fool. When I finally get in he looks at me and smiles and says you don't have to be nervous I'm the same person you've been talking to on the phone I promise. I must admit it kind of caught my nerves but not all the way all I could do was look at them and smile and say ok don't worry about me let's get the show on the road as I laugh. The drive felt like it took forever I forgot that he lived all the way in independence so on our drive I also learned that he's a pretty fast driver and doesn't mind getting close to other vehicles and due to my anxiety of being too close to other vehicles cause you never know when they're just gonna slam on there brakes or turn without using their turn signal I was on even more edge. I think he sense that because he grabbed my hand and held it for the rest of the drive saying it's ok I'm not gonna wreck I promise I've been doing this a long time plus it's part of my job to drive everywhere basically all over Missouri. The rest of the drive I looked out the window twirling my hair in one hand and holding his hand in the other I don't think he noticed but I saw him looking at me every once in a while smiling at me it was so hard not to smile back.

We finally arrived at his home it was not what I expected. I also learned that he has a roommate thank God it's not his ex it was a guy that he became friends with after he left his ex wife he lived in the downstairs and his roommate lived upstairs with his son. He made us walk through a garage to get to his part of the house it was filled with a whole bunch of crap there was a boat and a really old red car and I mean old car kind of car that still has fabric in it like suck fabric that makes your butt sweat when you sit on it too long and has the ashtray built-in that has the flippy metal part on it other weird stuff hanging on the garage wall.