Beyond the rumors

Chapter2: The secret

I spent the entire night trying to convince myself that I didn't care but it didn't work. Every time I tried to close my eyes, I saw the same thing..

Raphael standing at the top of the stairs, the way he'd looked at me, the way he'd said my name like he actually wanted to know me.

And then the message..

You should stay away from Raphael.

I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling.

Who was this person even? And why did they care who I talked to?

My phone sat beside me, I picked it up. No new messages and I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding.

Maybe it was just a prank, maybe whoever sent it was just bored.

Maybe…

My phone vibrated and I froze.

Unknown number.

I opened it.

Did you sleep well?

My stomach turned as another message appeared.

I wouldn't get too comfortable if I were you.

I stared at the screen then blocked the number. This time I didn't wait for another message. I threw my phone across the bed and got up. I definitely wasn't going to let some coward ruin my morning.

By the time I reached campus, I'd almost succeeded in forgetting about it.

Then I walked into the lecture hall and saw Raphael. He was sitting at the back with a group of guys. One of them said something and Raphael laughed, then he looked straight at me and his smile changed.

It became smaller and softer like it only belonged to me.

Only God knew the extent to which I hated how much I liked it.nit felt like flipping rage bait.

I looked away and found an empty seat near the front.

“Running away?”

I turned. Raphael had followed me.

“I didn't know you were behind me.”

“I noticed.”

He casually sat beside me.

“What are you doing?” I said looking embarrassed

“Sitting beside you?” He nonchalantly said giving me this look like the question I just asked didn't make any sense

I looked at him. “You have your own seat.”

“I know.”

“So?”

“So I chose this one?”

“Why?”

“Better company” he shrugged.

I tried not to smile. “You don't even know me.”

“He chuckled. “Klara that's becoming your favorite sentence.”

“Maybe because you keep proving it's true.”

He leaned in. “Then let me get to know you.”

My heart skipped but before I could answer the lecturer walked in and we both faced forward.

For the rest of the lecture, I was painfully aware of his shoulder beside mine.

Once his shoulder brushed mine and neither of us moved.

Dangerous.. I thought.

After class, Raphael caught up with me outside.

“Wait.”

I turned. “What?”

“Where are you going?”

“Library.” I said and continued walking.

“Good.”

I stopped. “Why is that good?”

“You're following me now?”

“No,” he smiled. “I'm coincidentally going in the same direction.”

“I see” and we simply walked together in silence.

For once I wasn't thinking about the people staring, I was thinking about him, and that was somehow worse.

Because Raphael wasn't supposed to matter…at least not yet.

We found a table near the windows and he opened his laptop while I opened my textbook.

Five minutes had passed, then ten

Neither of us said anything.

Finally he looked up. “You are terrible at pretending to study.”

I frowned. “I am studying.”

“You've been staring at the same page for eight minutes.”

“I like the page.”

He laughed then he pushed his laptop to the side.

“Tell me something.”

“What.”

“Something nobody knows about you.”

“Why?”

“Because I told you something yesterday.”

“You told me you had a sister.”

“Exactly.”

“That isn't exactly a secret.”

“Well not everyone knows I have a sister so it is to some people.”

I smiled at his silly logic. “You win.”

I thought for a moment. “Well I hate thunderstorms.”

He looked surprised. “Why?”

“I don't know, growing up my mother used to tell me stories of the rapture and I know I am not good enough to go to heaven so anytime there's a thunderstorm I always think it's the rapture”.

He smiled and nodded thoughtfully. “Okay.”

“Your turn… What are you afraid of?”

He went quiet.

For the first time since I'd met him, he didn't have a clever answer.

“Losing people”. He finally said, something in his voice had changed.

I didn't tease him. “Why?”

“Because sometimes you don't realize how important someone is until they are already gone.”

My chest tightened. “That sounds personal.”

“It is.”

I wanted to ask more but something in me told me not to so I only took his hand and squeezed it.

We were both silent for a while before he finally spoke up.

“Your turn”

“Okay what?”

“What's your biggest fear?”

I opened my mouth but nothing came out because the real answer was sitting inside my chest.

Being exposed, judged and being reduced to the worst thing that had happened to me. But I couldn't tell him that so I smiled.

“Failing this semester.”

He laughed. “Liar.”

My smile vanished and he wasn't smiling anymore either.

“ You don't have to tell me.”

I looked at him. “Then why ask?”.

“Because I wanted to know if you'd tell me.”

“I looked away and he didn't push any further.”

We studied until the library began emptying. When we finally left, the sun was loud and Raphael walked beside me.

“Are you hungry?”

“Yes” I was starving.

“There's a place near school we could go to that's if you want to”

“You are inviting me?”

“I'm asking if you want food.”

“Sounds like a date.”

He looked at me. “Would you like it to be?”.

I nodded and he smiled.

“Good, then it's a date.”

The restaurant was small and quiet. We sat opposite each other and he ordered something I couldn't pronounce.

I laughed at him, he accused me of having no taste and I accused him of wasting money.

For the first time in weeks, I forgot to be careful and I laughed till my stomach hurt.

Raphael simply watched me.

“What?”

He shook his head. ‘Nothing.”

“You are staring again.”

“I know.”

“Why?”

He smiled. “I think I like you better when you forget to be guarded.”

The laughter slowly disappeared from my face.

“Raphael…”

He looked down. “I'm sorry.”

“It's okay.”

Deep down, I was beginning to understand something. This wasn't just curiosity anymore. I liked being around him and I loved the way he made me laugh.

My phone vibrated, I ignored it but Raphael noticed.

“Isn't that important?”

“I know.”

Then a second and third vibration.

I signed and pulled it out.

Unknown number. But this time the message wasn't vague.

I know what happened at your old school

My smile vanished then another message appeared.

I know about pregnancy.

My entire body went cold.

No no no no no no no no. I couldn't breathe, alarms rang in my head, the restaurant disappeared around me and all I could hear was my own heartbeat.

You really thought you could start over?

My fingers trembled before another message arrived.

Let's see how Raphael feels when he finds out.

I locked my phone.

Raphael was watching me with a concerned expression because he saw the panic written all over my face.

“Klara??... What happened?”

“Nothing”

His expression tightened.

“You've been saying that since yesterday.”

I said I'm fine.”

“I know you're not, I know something is wrong.”

His voice wasn't accusing, it was concerned.

I stood up abruptly. “I need to go.”

“Klara..”

“I'm sorry.” I said with tears in my eyes.

I grabbed my back and he stood too.

“Let me walk you then.”

“No.”

The answer came out too quickly and I saw the hurt flash across his face.

“I'm sorry.” I whispered.

He nodded “okay then.”

I walked away and I didn't look back because I knew if I did, I'd go back. And that was the problem.. I had already started caring about his feelings and someone had just discovered how to use it against me.

By the time I reached the gate, my phone buzzed once more.

You have one day Klara.

I stopped waking then another message appeared

Tell him yourself.

I could hear my heart beat in my ears

Or I'll make sure he hears it from someone else.

Now I had a choice. Tell the boy I was beginning to trust the truth about the worst chapter of my life or what for someone to tell him for me.