The luna's human mate

CHAPTER NINE

Silvia.

The weeks went by in a way I hadn't expected.

Not slowly like when I was stuck in the pack house with nothing to do.

Not quickly like when we were in crisis mode and everything happened at once.

It was like I was really living in the moment not thinking about time passing.

The library was the center of it all.

I started going the day after we arrived.

Asher took me like he promised.

I walked in. Stopped at the entrance.

I stood there for a while. A woman asked if I was okay.

I told her I was fine.

I wasn't sure if that was true.

The closest word I could think of was overwhelmed.

Not in a bad way.

More like I was overwhelmed by how much was

There were rows and rows of books.

Every subject, every era.

History, science, fiction, philosophy. Everything.

It was all. Labeled.

Anyone could walk in. Use it.

No one was in charge.

No one told you what to do.

I sat at a table in the history section for four hours.

I didn't move.

After that I went back every day.

Toby didn't like it.

He showed it in ways.

He'd ask me where I was going. I'd tell him the library.

He'd say it wasn't safe.

He'd say I was exposed.

He'd say there were many entrances and exits.

"Toby " I'd say, "what are you afraid of?

A book falling on me?"

He'd say he was afraid of things he couldn't see coming.

He'd say it with a face.

I'd know he meant it.

I couldn't let it stop me.

"I need this " I'd say.

"I came here for a reason.

I need to learn things."

He'd look at me for a moment.

Then he'd step back.

He'd tell me to take my phone and text him when I arrived and left.

"Every time?" I'd ask.

"Every time " he'd say.

The library was where I learned things.

Human history was different from what I'd learned.

It was longer and stranger.

Human science was cool too.

It was like they were curious about the world.

In the folklore section I found books about creatures that weren't supposed to exist.

I'd read them standing up.

I wouldn't sit down.

It was like I was keeping some distance.

The stories were wrong in some ways.

Beneath the mistakes there was something real.

Stories of wolves that walked like people.

Stories of communities that lived apart.

Stories of hunters who were organized.

I read those pages carefully.

I felt something in my chest.

I didn't have words for it yet.

Asher was in his studio a lot.

I'd see him at meals.

We'd talk in the evenings.

Those conversations were nice.

He'd listen to me.

He wouldn't try to change my mind.

He'd just listen.

It was different from what I was used to.

I wasn't sure if it was a problem.

Sienna said he wasn't avoiding me.

He was just being careful.

She said he felt it too.

She said he was being careful with it.

One morning I saw a notice on the library board.

It said they were looking for a library assistant.

I went to the desk and asked about it.

The woman who interviewed me was named Mrs. Cross.

She was small and sharp-eyed.

She asked me three questions.

Then she offered me the job.

I started working at the library the morning.

It was different from visiting.

Now I saw the building.

I helped people.

I learned about the system.

I also got to go into the storage rooms.

One day I found a book.

It was, at the bottom of a box.

The title was "Werewolf and Man: A History of Coexistence and Conflict".

I stood there for a moment.

I felt like I'd found something

I opened the book.

The first chapter was called "Before the Fear".

It talked about humans and wolves living together.

They. Intermarried.

They built things together.

Then I read the chapter.

It was called "The First Hunters".

It talked about how it all ended.

It wasn't a war.

It was a slow buildup of misunderstandings.

Fear led to fear.

Eventually violence seemed inevitable.

I closed the book.

I stood there for a moment.

I thought about my parents.

They believed that understanding was possible.

They went into the woods with that belief.

They didn't come back.

I thought about the packs history.

I thought about the hunters history.

Each sides story erased the others.

I thought about a man, who looked at wolves with curiosity, not fear. He walked into our territory without knowing what it was. Didn't flinch. He made dinner worked in his studio listened without a plan and was careful in hallways at night.

I put the book under my arm. Turned off the light.

This was going to be harder than I thought.. More necessary than I realized.

There's something beneath all this beneath the weight of history and whats to come. It's quietly. Persistently refusing to be ignored.

I walked home through the evening streets with the book under my arm. I thought about Ashers eyes, in a kitchen at midnight. I didn't try hard to think about something.