Trace

21 - Jealousy

Fallon

Whose idea was this again?

And why the hell am I in a bar with these women?

I don’t need to get to know the women of Snakes Henchmen MC. Yeah, okay, Elie is only a year or so older than me, and she’s great, but the rest of them are in their late twenties – late thirties, and everything in between.

I’m grateful for Tammy taking me under her wing and wanting me to meet everyone, but I’m not one of them. I’m just me. I’m a loner and shouldn’t have agreed to come tonight. Not after the argument Trace and I had.

Trace told me that he wanted me to be his girl, that there had been no one else but me since the first night we were together. I wanted to believe him, but his reputation would have me believing otherwise.

I told him so, and he made a good point about how people change when they meet that special someone. I’m not his special someone. I’m a mess, a fucke.d-up mess, and I made sure he knew that by telling him about what happened with Brick and how I was as much of a whor.e as he is. How all I would do if we were together is cheat on him the way he cheated on Willow.

God, the way Trace looked at me, so confused, so... Hurt. That look has haunted me ever since.

Could Trace really have feelings for me?

Could he have been my one?

That’s fuckin.g stupid, right?

There’s no such thing as “The One.” All the fairy tale crap people talk about, the misty eyes, the pounding heart, and the need to be beside that one person always are all bullshit. It’s just a trick of the mind, kind of like drug addiction. It’s all in your head. No matter how powerful it may seem.

But why, then, do I feel like a better person when I’m near Trace?

Why do all the bad things disappear from my mind every time he touches me?

Why, when I’m not with him, do I feel the loneliness filling me?

I don’t want to feel this way about Trace. I don’t want to need him, and I definitely don’t want to love him. Hell, I told the man I’d been sexua.l with someone else. An enemy of his club!

Why the fuc.k would he want me now?

That’s why I really said yes to coming out tonight. To try and forget about Trace and what we could have had had I not been such a stupid bitc.h.

There are a few of us here. Me, Elie, Maria, Nova, Willow – cause that’s not weird – Tammy, Tessa, Brooke, Marnie – Don Vidal’s wife! – and she brought bodyguards with her. But I guess that was Draven’s doing; it was the only way he would let her come with us. It’s not like she couldn’t be killed for simply being married to the man.

Marley, Coral, and a couple of others are also here. I’m so overwhelmed right now. I also feel like the odd one out. Each woman here is a wife and mother. I have nothing in common with them. Maybe just Willow. We have Trace in common.

I’m sick of them all asking me what’s going on with Trace and me. Nothing is going on with us, I saw to that. I’m sick of hearing how much he’s changed since meeting me. How none of them have ever seen him smile the way he does when he’s talking about me.

I don’t want to hear it; I’m nothing special, they’ll soon realize that.

Besides... “If he liked me that much, he wouldn’t be at the bar with that skank on his lap.”

Each woman turns in the direction of the bar.

Sure as shi.t, there’s Trace drinking beer with a scantily-clad whor.e on his knee. Sparkling blue hot pants and a bra is all she’s wearing. Her hair is loose, and her makeup is fit for a drag queen. Seriously, I thought this was a club, not a fuckin.g titty bar.

“I’m sure he’s just talking to her.”

“Sure, Marnie.” I roll my eyes at the Mafia Queen. Beautiful woman with long blonde hair and big blue eyes. Sister to Brooke, who looks just like her and is married to Hawk, the brother of Wrench, Elie’s husband.

Marnie is also the sister-in-law of Maria, who is married to Jett, the club VP, and the big brother of Willow and Nova. Willow is married to Hammer, the half-brother of Maria and Draven Vidal, who share the same father. Hammer is also the half-brother on his mother’s side to Tank, who Nova is married to. Marley is married to Roman, cousin to Hawk and Wrench on their mother’s side... Jett, Willow, and Nova are also the kids of Shepard, the club President.

Coral is Stryker’s wife, and Stryker is the adopted brother of Wrench and Hawk. Coral is Elie’s mother, making Stryker his own adopted brother’s father-in-law. Luckily, he isn’t Elie’s birth father, and the adoption between him and Taylor and BlackJack isn’t legal, or that would be the fuckin.g weirdest family I’ve ever met.

Tammy is Red’s wife, my brother’s father, and Tessa is married to Ace, who is also the cousin of Roman but on his father’s side. Roman is also Wrench, Hawk, and Stryker’s cousin on their mother’s side. Roman is the man who gives me curious looks every time I see him. It’s not creepy; there’s nothing sexua.l about it; trust me, I know when a man wants me. But I often wonder what he’s thinking when he watches me. It might not be s****l, but it’s definitely in a possessive way, or maybe I’m just reading too much into things that aren’t there.

But there has to be a reason, right?

I mean, he’s the man who came to the hospital and told me that Scott and I didn’t share the same father.

Maybe I should talk to him and find out what’s on his mind.

Maybe you should understand when someone doesn’t like you, Fallon. You’ve fucke.d around with his friend. Ever thought Roman just can’t stand you?

There is that.

“This is typical of Trace,” Willow interjects as the girls all turn to face me.

Isn’t it just fuckin.g typical that I’m in the seat facing the bar?

I bet that fucke.r saw me sitting here and deliberately sat there with that slut just to hurt me.

It shouldn’t hurt, but it does.

“He hasn’t done that in a while.”

I don’t even give a shi.t. These women, dressed up like they belong in a movie, can talk all they want about what Trace has and hasn’t done in a while; it won’t make a difference to me.

Their voices fade around me; my eyes are burning holes in the back of the slut’s head. I hadn’t noticed the other bikers near the bar before now — two of them. I’m not looking directly at them, so I have no clue who they are. I don’t even care about them. But I’ll make that bitc.h care if she doesn’t get her hands off my man!

Yes, he’s mine! There’s no way I’m losing Trace to a whor.e like that. I did a terrible thing with Brick, and I’m terrified of what he will do to me when he catches up with me next time.

However, that man over there at the bar, skank on his knee, his arm around her waist, hers stroking the back of his hair, is mine. I may have tried to push him away because I’m no good for him, but I’ll make him forgive me. I want him back; he’s mine, end of story.

I don’t want to sit here and watch this. I know Trace is doing it to hurt me, and he’s succeeding, but I don’t want to be without him. As scared as I am to be with him, I’m more terrified of not having him in my life. I don’t care that he’s a biker. I don’t care that he’s hurt, even killed men before now. Trace is the man who makes my heart beat faster. He is the one who makes me forget everything I don’t want to remember.

Trace owns my heart.

Fuc.k!

Oh, God. I’ve lost my heart to a lowdown dirty biker, and I have no hope of getting it back unscathed.

I knock back the vodka in front of me, my eyes never leaving the bitc.h in my man’s lap. The whor.e thinks he will fuc.k her tonight. The only thing that’s going to be fuckin.g her is my fist in her face!

I’m not a shy girl, and I’m not a weak one either. Yeah, I’m a fuc.k up, but who isn’t? That’s not to say I’ll sit here and wait for one bitc.h or another to take what’s mine.

I’m aware that she doesn’t know Trace is mine. It’s not her fault that he hasn’t put her right. But then he wouldn’t, as he believes himself to be single. But don’t be fooled by this woman. They all know what they’re getting into with bikers. They must know that most have a woman at home, and they will kill them for touching what doesn’t belong to them.

If she doesn’t, she soon will!

I’m out of my seat and heading over to the bar; one of the girls yells, “Fallon, where the hell are you going?” I don’t answer whomever it was. It’s very fuckin.g obvious where I’m going!

What do you suppose I do when I get to the bar?

Tap her shoulder?

His?

Ask her nicely to move away from my man?

Maybe she’d just say sorry and move away quietly?

Yeah, right!

My hand winds around her hair at the back of her head, her hands automatically reaching for mine to try and pry me off of her. I drag her from Trace so hard a bunch of her cheap hair extensions come out in my hand.

“What the fu...” Is all she says before I punch her in the damn mouth and knock her to the floor. Then I’m on top of her, beating the fuckin.g shi.t out of her. I don’t even give a fuc.k right now if I end up in prison for this. I’m going to kill her!

There’s so much noise going on around me, so much yelling, words I can’t make out in my murderous state.

Why the hell am I even beating her like this when I doubt it’s her fault?

It’s Trace’s fault. He’s the one who made her think she stood a chance. He’s the one who probably whispered what he wanted to do to her in her ear, turning her on and making her think she could be his.

He’s not the one I’m angry with, though... well, I am, but she’s the one who shouldn’t have touched what didn’t belong to her. She’s the one I want dead in a damn pine box!

Slut’s hands are covering her face defensively, not that I give a crap. However, someone grabs me around the waist, and everything zooms back in. All the noise I’d blocked out hits me at once.

“Calm the hell down; you’ll kill her!”

Oh, I’ll kill him too!

I wriggle out of Trace’s arms, spin on the spot, and slap him right across the face so hard my hand is stinging like a bastard. “Don’t you fuckin’ touch me!”

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” He can yell all he likes; it won’t bother me. Bigger men than Trace have yelled at me before now.

“What’s wrong with me? Are you serious?”

Is he really this dumb?

Dumb and beautiful.

“You knew full well I’d be here with the girls, so you sit there, knowing I can see you with that slut!”

The one now being helped up by Roman. I didn’t know he’d get involved, and I’m starting to find it creepy that he follows his wife everywhere she goes.

“I get that you’re trying to pay me back, but did you honestly think I’d sit there and watch you act like a cunt with her and do nothing?” I fold my arms around myself, and the short red dress I’m wearing gets tighter with the movement.

Why the fuc.k did I dress like this?

It’s too short, too tight. I thought I looked classy, especially with my hair pinned up and my makeup light. However, right now, I feel stupid.

“What the hell is it to you who I’m with? That slut,” He points to her, I don’t even entertain the thought of looking at her. “Or you. What’s the difference?”

He’s comparing me to her!

Seriously?

I guess that’s the impression I gave him, especially after what I said about Brick and me.

Did I deserve to be spoken to like that in front of all these people?

Probably.

“The difference is that I have class.”

“Class? You? Don’t make me laugh, Fallon!” Trace throws back, and it hurts.

Stupid son of a bitc.h! I don’t need him; he can go fuc.k himself.

I drop my arms by my sides, my head held high, a fake smile on my face. “You’re right. I have no right to tell you anything after what I did. Enjoy yourself. You might want to trade up for one without a battered face.”

I turn to leave, but I remember myself and turn back.

“If she wants to have me charged, you know where I live.” It would be no more than I deserve; I’ve messed up her face. She’ll have a black eye to go with her split lip and bruised cheek.

“Fallon, wait,” Trace reaches out to grab my arm, but I move away and shake my head. There’s nothing for us to say. I messed us up before we even had a chance to begin. Now, it’s time to move on.

“I’m sorry I ruined your night, girls. You probably shouldn’t invite me again; I’m trouble.”

“We’re all that, sweetheart.” Nova smiles.

I don’t, I just nod, turn, and rush from that damn building. I need to get out of here. I need to get out of this damn town before it chews me up completely.

I need to forget about Trace.