Trace

25 - I love her

Trace

I stroke my fingertips up and down Fallon’s bare arm. Just being able to hold her like this settles something inside of me. I did a lot of thinking about what she and Brick did. Sure, it hurt me, but I forgave her. I did because I realized that I was in love with her. The past is gone and won’t be coming back.

I don’t know when I fell in love with my beautifully broken Fallon, but there it was. I knew I had to tell her today, even though I knew she’d never tell me that she felt the same way.

Having Fallon call me out on my past and then for her to listen to everything I had to say was just what I needed. I needed for Fallon to know everything about me. There’s never been much to tell anyone other than what a cheating man-slut I was. Still, that didn’t stop Fallon from telling me she loved me in return.

Roman will probably kill me when he finds out, but I couldn’t give a shi.t what he or anyone else thinks. I’m not stupid, and I know what people will say. I know no one will believe for a second that I genuinely love Fallon. However, the fact remains that I do love her. God, I feel sick when I’m not with her, and I’m only at peace when I am.

Maybe I should have convinced her to see Roman before I claimed her. But I don’t believe telling Fallon that Roman is her dad is my place. That has to come from him. However, I need to get her to meet with him.

I kiss Fallon’s head, and she snuggles into me. I smile while lying my head back on my arm. My smile vanishes when I realize my dad will have something to say about me being with a twenty-one-year-old woman. He’d say Fallon was still a child, that she couldn’t possibly know what love was at her age. He’s ridiculous, but that’s my dad for you.

Everyone will have an opinion about this new relationship of ours. I’m going to get it from all sides, but I can’t bring myself to give a shi.t. I have never felt like this before, and I can’t lose Fallon now that she’s mine. People can say what they want. I’ll take the wisecracks and the jokes because I probably deserve them. As long as I’ve got Fallon, nothing else matters.

“This feels so nice.”

I smile because I didn’t know Fallon had woken. She’s right, though; this does feel nice. “You bet it does.”

She giggles and looks up at me. “I thought it was a dream. But it’s not, is it?”

“It’s not a dream, beautiful.”

“You’re really mine?”

I nod my head. “And you’re really mine.” I kiss her softly.

“I have a job interview tomorrow.”

“Oh, yeah?” She never mentioned it before.

“Yeah. Okay. I’ve always wanted to be a teacher, so I applied to community college. I got in.” She smiles excitedly while lifting her head onto the pillow beside me.

I turn on my left side to face her, and I can’t help smiling back at her. I’ve never seen Fallon so excited about anything.

“Anyway. The course I’m taking requires me to get some childcare experience, and I managed to get an interview for a position as a classroom assistant. It’s an unpaid position but goes toward my end credits.”

I stroke her cheek with the back of my hand. “I’m so proud of you, Fallon.”

She blinks in shock.

Has no one ever told this woman they were proud of her?

“For all you’ve been through of late, you chose to better yourself. You applied to college and secured yourself an interview for a job without anyone’s help or encouragement. I know you’re going to work hard, and you will become the teacher you want to be. I couldn’t be more proud of you right now if I tried, Fallon.”

“Thank you. That means so much to me.” She leans in and kisses me.

Bringing up Roman while we’re still in her bed is not ideal. However, there will never be a good time to bring it up with her. May as well get it out the way now, then I can spend the rest of the night ravaging her gorgeous body.

“I wondered if you’d come over to Roman’s with me tomorrow?”

Fallon narrows her eyes slightly while sticking her tongue out in disgust. “Ugh. Why?”

“There’s something Roman needs to speak with you about.”

Fallon sits up in bed with her back against the headboard. I lift beside her. “There’s nothing he has to say to me that I want to hear, Trace. I know you work together every day, and I will show him the same respect as everyone else in your club, but I don’t want to talk to him. Roman creeps me out a little. He’s always staring at me, and I can see that he can’t stand me.”

If only you knew that wasn’t the case, baby girl.

“He thinks a lot of you, Fallon. Come with me to Roman’s and speak with him.”

Fallon shakes her head. “I don’t want to speak with him, Trace. What’s so urgent that you’d push the subject like this?”

I don’t know what to tell her.

What else can I do than kiss her?

She laughs against my mouth.

“I’m sorry,” I don’t want to make her feel some type of way. Roman will just have to come to Fallon and tell her the news.

It’s not going to be easy for Fallon to hear. All this time, she’s been banging on about finding her dad, and he’s been in her presence the whole time. There will be questions that only Roman can answer. I just hope Fallon is willing to listen. I also pray she doesn’t hate me for not saying anything.

I’m dammed if I do and dammed if I don’t.

I reach up and tuck Fallon’s dark hair behind her ear. She is literally the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I don’t know what Fallon’s mother looked like, so I don’t know if she resembles her or not, but being this close to Fallon, I can see how much she looks like Roman. Only an i***t wouldn’t see it. She has his smile, his coloring, and his big green eyes.

I hate that Fallon has lived such a hard life. I can’t even begin to imagine what life would be like without my family. I may not see them all that much, but I know they’re there if I need them, as I’m there if they need me.

Who the hell did Fallon have apart from Scott?

I can’t bear that she’s been alone since he was gunned down. There was no one there to comfort Fallon when she was alone and scared, no one to hold her and soothe her tears. Moreover, there was no one to tell her that everything would be all right soon.

“Hey,” She reaches up and lays her hand on my face, and I close my eyes naturally. “What’s wrong?”

I open my eyes and look at her. I don’t want Fallon to think I pity her because I don’t, but I do feel sad for her. Jesus Christ, I’ve never felt this sad for anyone in my life. It hurt me, and it broke me when Willow was attacked. We may not have been in love any longer, but she was still my friend and meant a lot to me. With Fallon, it hurts because I am in love with her, and if I could have saved her from her lonely existence back then, I would have.

“I wish I could have been there for you when you needed me the most. I hate thinking about you all alone in this world, wondering if there was anybody out there who gave a damn.”

“You’re here for me now, Jordan.”

I wrap my arms around her, and she comes willingly, her head on my shoulder, and her arms around me. “I will always be here for you, Fallon. When I said that I loved you, I meant it. I had never meant those words more than when I said them to you.”

“Ditto. I love you so much, Trace.”

If I know nothing else in this world, I know that to be true.

“Will you come to meet my parents?”

“What, now?”

I laugh and nod my head. Fallon pulls away from me, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. I’ve stumped her.

“I want them to meet the girl who stole my heart.”

“What if they don’t like me, Trace? I’m not an easy person to get on with.”

“Nor am I. I love you, so they’ll love you. Don’t be afraid, baby.”

She clambers to her knees, twisting her fingers together like a scared child. “I don’t want to embarrass you.”

With my fingers beneath her chin, I tip her head up. “Why on this earth would you think that’s even possible?” She shrugs. “You could walk around with your skirt tucked in your panties, and you couldn’t embarrass me.”

“I won’t even ask why you’d think that would happen.” We both laugh. It’s good to hear her laughing. “Okay. Let’s go meet your parents, but I want you to come home with me once we’re done there.” Fallon raises her eyebrow seductively.

I growl low in my throat, and she laughs. “Deal.”