Bound To Fall In Love

Chapter 8

I wake up to strong warm arms and a faint woodsy scent. I sigh contentedly before snuggling closer to the hard body behind me. "It's too early for you to be grounding your ass on me" Zander groaned. I flush deeply because I was indeed grinding my ass on him"oh sorry" I say and try to shift away but his hand presses into my lower stomach holding me in place.

"No stay, I like it like this" then nuzzles his face into my hair, I relax in his embrace and close my eyes simply to savor the moment. But he can't possibly expect me to fall asleep again with his d**k poking my ass.

" Your d**k isn't very comfortable"

"It would be if it was in you" there's a pause and tension fills the air. It's like an unspoken rule that we don't talk about the attraction we have for each other and so before he can apologize I ask " Do you like s*x that much?" I don't know why I asked that I just made everything so much more awkward, why can't I shut up sometimes, I wish I could take it back and just as I was about to he said "it's not that per se.

It's more s*x with you that I would like, thoughts of your body and the way you would sound and feel consumes me and it's all I can think of sometimes. That you and I could exist in a place in time just for us and our pleasure." I turn to look at him.

" I want to be with you in every sense of the word for the rest of my life" his eyes shine with sincerity and I trust this man with my heart and body but keeping our relationship platonic is the only way for it to last forever. I feel like a broken record with how often I repeat this in my head.

Everything in me wants to let go and give him my all, but what happens if that's not enough, sometimes best friends are supposed to remain just that, friends. How could I possibly cope with this man that breathes me into being and decides I'm no longer worth his attention, would I cease to exist? The power this man holds over me is why I'll continue to resist, I need to be my personal first and I wonder if I can while I'm with him. I push those thoughts from my head and focus on him. He can probably see all my thoughts floating around and he simply kisses my forehead before getting up.

"Do you have a spare toothbrush?" He asks.

"Yeah check that drawer," I say pointing at the location. I hate that I have to reject him time and time again but I believe it's for the best.

I get up as well and check if Naseera is back, I open her room door and see she's still passed out, I laugh silently and make a mental note to leave her some painkillers. I head back to the room to see Zander has worn his clothes from last night back. My heart falls and I try not to be too disappointed.

"You're not staying for breakfast?" I ask

"Is your roommate back?" He asks deflecting.

"Yes, she is." We stare at each other for a while, he's running away and it's my fault. I don't want to push him away but that's all I do.

"I'm sorry-" I start but he cuts me off

"There's nothing to be sorry for" then kisses my forehead.

"I'm going for a run."I nod unable to talk because I feel my throat closing in. I watch as he walks away feeling worse for wear. Why does doing the right thing feel so awful, I ponder.

~~

Breakfast on Saturday isn't until 8:30 and it was barely 6 when zander left, unable to go back to bed. I decide to do some light yoga and bathe before studying. Naseera was still sleeping so I'll probably have to grab some breakfast for her.

Saturdays were mostly free for me, I have a cheer meeting by 12 and a debate club meeting by 3 then a revision of studies class but it wasn't compelling, sorry by 5, and lastly a perfect meeting at 8. Apart from that I was completely free.

I found myself happy that I'll see Zander again today. I kind of like the head prefect role on him, he was hot when he was bossy, I giggled to myself. My mind wanders to the scene in the classroom and my body flushes with heat, the way he looked at me and the things he said, I could barely breathe.

I groan. It felt amazing but I can't let it happen again. I was only making things harder for us. Just the thought of him makes me horny now, this is going to be hard but so was he, I bit my lip, that was such a dumb joke and I couldn't help snorting, my subconscious was an i***t.

As it was nearing 8:30 I got dressed in a pair of shorts and a school-issued top before pulling on my sneakers. My makeup was light and I packed my hair up in a messy bun before leaving.

In the dining hall, I sit with a bunch of other seniors and notice Zander hasn't come yet, just as I'm scanning the room someone drops into the seat next to me I turn to see an Italian boy from my class I've never spoken to before, his mum was a famous ballerina and his dad is a politician, I think his name was Damien.

"Hey," I say

"Hey, you're Stella right?"

"Yeah"

"Damien"

"Nice to meet you"

"So… it looks like we're going to be partners for the literature project" I had completely forgotten about that, and I felt like such a dunce.

"Oh yeah," I say awkwardly trying to save face

"You forgot, didn't you" he laughs and I join in.

"It's cool, you're busy using that big brain of yours for other things" yeah like thinking about Zander, I mentally roll my eyes at my subconscious but as if I summoned him Zander appears and takes a seat at the same table I'm on.