Bound To Fall In Love

Chapter 6

Stella's pov

After fleeing the room I leaned against the door and took deep breaths. Oh my god, oh my god. I can't believe I just did that. I could feel that my face was hot and I was sure it was red as well. I straightened up and started moving because Zander could be leaving the room any moment now and I don't want to run into him right now. I'm so embarrassed, I attacked him like an animal during mating season or something. I don't know how I'll ever face him again. I know I'm being dramatic, I just can't believe I did that.

Luckily my first class isn't too far away and I make it to the classroom before the teacher arrives. My housemate Naseera waves me over after saving me a seat in the front row, she's a short light skinned skin brown girl with the prettiest brown eyes I've ever seen, she wears a customized hijab in the school colors and her father is an oil magnate so she's insanely rich.

We became friends recently, she's the social prefect and we're sharing a cottage this year. "Thanks," I say

"No problem" she replies. " So what did our head prefect call you back for?"

I fight off a blush as I say " Just going over this year's budget reports" " Boring" she sings. "If it wasn't halal I would jump his bones.

That man is so fine" she says with a giggle. Thankfully the teacher enters then and saves me from the awkward speech I was about to deliver. I have to wipe the sweat off my brow, I was not built for all this tension. My teacher immediately starts the class so I decided to turn off all other thoughts and focus on the lesson.

By Tuesday afternoon after my third class, my heart rate sped up and I feared I'm in danger of having a stroke, I only have one more class for the day which is literature and I share it with Zander. I haven't seen Zander since that Monday morning, I even skipped lunch just to avoid him. I feel like such a terrible person. I'm just making our relationship more complicated, I know I'm not ready for a romantic relationship with him, and yet I put him in that situation. I must have lost my mind when I kissed him, though I can't deny it felt really good.

It's not like it was the first time we've kissed so maybe nothing has changed, I think hopefully but it was the first time we've engaged in such s****l activity. I'm not a prude, okay maybe I'm a bit of a prude but s*x has always been an uncomfortable topic for me. I'm just too awkward and shy to ever involve myself with anyone and to make matters worse the one person I fantasize about I can't even have, destroying our friendship just for s*x wouldn't be worth it at all.

I have a deep sigh before entering the classroom. I immediately spot Zander in the back row next to the window and I feel a kaleidoscope of butterflies aggressively fluttering in my stomach, when he turns and looks at me my breath catches, he smiles and I know all is right in the world no matter what happened this morning. The seat next to him is empty but I move to take one at the front of the class, he rolls his eyes when he notices the direction I'm going and mouths 'teacher's pet'. I stifle a smile and give him a pointed look telling him I think he's annoying before taking my seat.

The teacher, Mr. Lowry soon enters and begins the class, he was my mentor last year and I liked him so I have no doubt I'll enjoy his class. Literature wasn't a compulsory course for either of us but we both chose to attend it so we could share the class, well I chose the class, and after we got our schedules and Zander found out we didn't share any class requests to the school that he wanted to take up literature even specified that he wanted Mr. Lowry's class. So here we are in the same class together, my skin feels charged and I know he's staring at me so I use all my willpower to try and pay attention to this class. By the time the class is over I almost feel relieved.

"Before you go, I want to announce that there will be a group project that will account for thirty-five percent of your final grade and can be submitted or presented anytime before the semester ends." There's a collective groan in the class. I hate group projects

"Now settle down, the project will be done in groups of two and must be about any book we'll be treating this semester, I want all of you to get creative. It's a free project to not restrict you, it can be a play, a rendition, a debate, anything! Okay, I've already grouped you guys'' more groans "and you'll see who your partner is on the bulletin board tomorrow."

I leave the class mentally preparing myself for the group project but despite that, I feel lighter, and less burdened after seeing Zander and knowing he isn't upset with me. I can't avoid him forever and I don't want to, it's not like I honestly believe that what we did in that classroom could ruin our friendship, I'm just scared of the growing feelings I have for him and what it means for us. I'm not so sure I know what direction I want our relationship to go anymore, I know if I ever suggested it he would agree to date me but is being with him romantically really worth the risk? We could remain, friends if we ever broke up but I don't think my heart could ever handle the heartbreak that will result from that.