Everything is okay
387 Words
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Trigger warning -
self harm and depression.
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I thought everything was normal, but everything was slowly getting worse.
I'm okay... right?
4 years later....
You have managed to go 4 long hell like years with no one knowing. How could you be so stupid to think no one would ever know. I was that stupid.
On the first Saturday back to drama after Christmas in the year of 2014 you had fallen in love with your long sleeve knitted jacket. Only one small problem.... they have the heaters on. I can't take my jacket off, they will see, I can't take my jacket off. These words rang in my head. They are gonna see.
I was starting to over heat when my friend noticed. "Are you alright Rose?" Eleanor called out to me as I could feel the room start to spin. "Yeah I'm fine" I called back "just hot" I muttered under my breath. "You look really hot why don't you take your jacket off" she said while walking closer to me. "I ca-can't." I replied. "You're scaring me, just take it off," she begged. "But...." "Please!" She begged. "Fi-fine but don't judge me... please...." I replied quietly. "Why would I judge you?" She said confused. "Just don't!" I kinda yelled back which took her by surprise. "I would never judge you, you know that, right?"
"Fi-fine" I said as I slowly took my jacket off waiting to see the look on her face when I saw her eyes travel down to my arm. "What's that?..." she questioned. There was a long pause. "Um you see my um cat um kinda in scratched me and um... well um...." I tried so very hard to come up with an excuse for the little lines that scattered my arm. "Yeah I'm sure that's what they are, but I don't care if you ever need me I'm always here, you have need to know that. Ok." "Ok..." Her reaction was nothing like how I pictured it to be. She didn't care about them and still wanted to be there for me, but I can't tell her why, I feel bad for that. I can't tell her because I'm not 100% sure i want her to know... Will anyone else react like that I wonder. I'm ok... right?
- Writer
