His Regrets

Chapter 7 — A Day Alone

The next morning was Saturday.

For the first time since I had started university, I didn't want to see anyone.

I didn't want to see Clara.

I didn't want to see Dante.

I didn't even want to see the people who knew nothing about what had happened but might ask why I looked so tired.

I just wanted to disappear for a day.

So I packed a few books into my bag, added a bottle of water, some food, and my purse, then left my room without telling anyone where I was going.

The campus was quieter than usual.

Most students were either sleeping in, visiting friends, or making plans for the weekend.

I had no plans.

I only wanted somewhere I could sit without being disturbed.

There was a large park not far from campus, with long benches beneath the trees and enough space that I could find a quiet corner.

I chose a bench beneath a tree and sat down.

For a while, I simply watched people pass.

A mother walked by holding her little daughter's hand.

Two students sat on the grass laughing over something on a phone.

A couple shared a bottle of water as they talked.

I looked away.

Yesterday, I would have watched them and imagined myself in one of those stories.

Today, I couldn't imagine anything.

I opened one of my books.

I read the same page three times without remembering a single word.

Eventually, I gave up.

I took out my notebook instead.

Writing had always been easier than talking.

I stared at the blank page.

Then I wrote:

**I thought trust meant someone could never hurt you.**

I stopped.

The sentence looked strange.

I crossed it out.

Then I wrote another.

**Maybe trust only means you believe someone won't.**

I stared at it.

That one felt closer to the truth.

I kept writing.

Not a song this time.

Just thoughts.

Things I would never say aloud.

How embarrassed I felt.

How angry I was.

How much I hated that part of me still wanted to hear Dante explain himself.

How much worse it felt knowing Clara had been the one person I never thought I needed to protect myself from.

I ate my lunch slowly around noon.

Then I drank some water and leaned back against the bench.

The afternoon passed quietly.

For the first time since yesterday, I wasn't crying.

I wasn't happy either.

I was simply tired.

Tired of thinking.

Tired of remembering.

Tired of trying to understand why two people I trusted had made choices that hurt me.

So I stayed.

I stayed until the sunlight began to soften and the park became quieter.

I stayed because I didn't know where else to go.

---

Dante went to Lily's room shortly after noon.

He had spent most of the morning thinking about what he could say to her.

He knew she might not forgive him.

He knew he had no right to expect forgiveness.

But he needed to see her.

He stood outside her door and knocked.

No answer.

He knocked again.

“Lily?”

Silence.

He tried the handle.

Locked.

He stepped back and looked down the hallway.

Maybe she was somewhere nearby.

He knocked again.

“Lily, it's me.”

Nothing.

He took out his phone and called her.

The call didn't go through.

He frowned and tried again.

Still nothing.

Then he realized.

He had been blocked.

Dante stared at his screen.

For a moment, he simply stood there.

She had blocked him.

He couldn't blame her.

But seeing it made everything feel more final.

He slipped his phone into his pocket and knocked once more.

“Lily, I just want to talk.”

Nothing.

He waited.

A minute passed.

Then another.

Eventually, he lowered his hand.

He had come expecting anger.

Maybe tears.

Maybe even shouting.

He hadn't expected silence.

Dante walked downstairs slowly.

When he reached his car, he sat behind the wheel without starting the engine.

He stared through the windshield.

Yesterday, he had been certain he would ask Lily to be his girlfriend.

Today, he couldn't even get her to open her door.

He started the car and drove home.

---

Adrian spent Saturday differently.

He didn't want to sit alone with his thoughts.

So when his friends invited him out, he agreed.

They went to a restaurant, talked about school, laughed over stupid stories, and argued about football.

Adrian laughed when they laughed.

He joined their conversations.

He even joked with them.

But every now and then, his mind drifted.

He thought about Clara.

Then he thought about Lily.

He wondered how she was doing.

He wondered whether she had spoken to her family.

He wondered whether Dante had managed to reach her.

He pushed the thoughts away.

He didn't know Lily well enough to get involved.

And he certainly didn't want another relationship problem added to everything he was already dealing with.

So he stayed with his friends until evening.

When they asked him to go somewhere else afterward, he agreed.

Anything was better than sitting alone.

---

By the time I returned to campus, the sky was beginning to darken.

I walked slowly back to my room.

My feet hurt from spending the entire day in the park, but I didn't mind.

The day had given me something I hadn't realized I needed.

Silence.

No explanations.

No apologies.

No questions.

Just me.

When I reached my room, I unlocked the door and stepped inside.

Everything looked exactly the same as it had the day before.

My books were still on the table.

My clothes were still where I had left them.

My bed was still unmade.

But I felt different.

Not better.

Not healed.

Just a little less overwhelmed.

I placed my bag down and sat on the edge of my bed.

Then I checked my phone.

There were more messages.

I didn't open them.

Instead, I put the phone aside and reached for my notebook.

I opened to the page I had written in the park.

**Maybe trust only means you believe someone won't hurt you.**

I read it again.

Then I added another line beneath it.

**And maybe losing that trust doesn't mean I have to lose myself too.**

I stared at the words.

For the first time since yesterday, I felt something other than pain.

It wasn't strength.

Not yet.

But maybe it was the beginning of it.