Chapter 105
1251 Words
ELAYNE
Our swords moved as our lips moved. We looked equally matched only because I was distracting him with my thrash talk. According to experience, men care more about their ego than whatever went on in the present. This man was a living example of that.
“I’ve heard about the insoles for men and I have some. Do you want some?”
“I DO NOT NEED INSOLES! YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULDN’T BE INSULTING ME ABOUT MY HEIGHT!”
“Don’t go comparing me to you. I’m comfortable with my height. Sure, I get mistaken to be a woman but if it helps me con free drinks, why not?”
“So you’re a conman? No wonder the church doesn’t like you?”
“They don’t? Why? I consider myself a really pious man.”
Except of course, I’m not a man and I couldn’t give a rat’s nest about Zerus.
“If a man like you is pious then there is no sin in the world.”
“That’s such a nice compliment. Thank you.”
“It wasn’t a compliment.”
“Seriously, I’m a pious man. I tried to get into the knightage, prove my worth but I couldn’t get in. As you can see, I’m quite skilled.”
“... I can see that.”
He raised his sword high hoping to s***h me across the chest but I blocked it in time. Thankfully, there were no extra weapons. I already had my hands full defending one.
“But that’s not what the church said. And to some extent, I believe them because you… are anything but a pious man.”
“Well, I must confess, I do have s****l relations with men but…”
The shock on his face was phenomenally hilarious but it gave me the chance to use one of the new moves I had, derived from one of the particularly hard ballroom dances my mother taught me. I swept his feet off the face and had my sword pointing at him, signalling the end of the duel.
However, he was more concerned about my ‘s****l relations with men’ than he was his loss.
“Y-Y-You practise blasphemy!”
“Is it really blasphemy? I mean, I don’t believe in the church’s rules anyway.”
“You said you’re a pious man!”
“At what point did I say I believed in Zerus? You’re the honest kind, aren’t you? If that’s the case, here’s a piece of advice for you. Don’t blindly believe anything anyone says if a loophole can be found.”
It was the first time I’ve felt so good after a fight. I walked back with confidence to the back, forgetting that I was walking in a feminine way rather than a masculine way.
Well, whatever. They’ll forget soon enough.
“You’re looking quite pleased there, my lady.”
“Well, I feel good today, you know?”
“I can see that. May I enquire what exactly it is you were discussing with that man?”
“Oh nothing, we were just comparing sizes.”
Tyler choked on his next words. I looked at him, very confused.
“Are you alright, Tyler?”
“... I’m fine. You did that, all through the fight?”
“Yes. He was arguing he wasn’t much smaller than me and I told him I was quite comfortable with my size.”
“My lady, did you actually say that?”
“Yes. is there anything wrong?”
Tyler looked like his spirit was going to evaporate from his body.
“... No, nothing wrong. Let’s just go.”
“So, safe to say telling him I had s****l relations with men was a bad idea?”
“MY LADY!”
“Don’t be so loud, people would assume you’re weird too.”
I had the faintest inkling that I was wrong but I couldn’t tell just how. Lion joined from behind and asked why we were being stared at like that.
“Well, I told Tyler what we were talking about during the fight and he found it strange. He just had to shout ‘my lady’. He’s really reckless.”
“Well, what did you say?”
“I just told him that we were comparing sizes during the duel.”
“... You did?”
“And I also slipped in the fact that I was having s****l relations with men because I thought it would be the perfect thing to get him off his guard.”
“... HAHAHAHAHA! Oh my lady, this is truly perfect…”
“I thought the expression on his face was funny too.”
“My lady, do you even know what comparing sizes mean?”
“Isn’t it something like height? That’s what I was doing. I told him I was content with my size.”
“No… HAHAHAHA… My ribs… that’s not what I mean… when you compare sizes, it usually means- OMPH!”
Tyler’s hands covered Lion’s mouth as he held him in a chokehold.
“Not another word from you, fool.”
“Tyler?”
“There are some things that are not for the ears of a woman.”
“I said something obscene?”
“Don’t worry too much about it. Is there anything in particular you want to do today? Since you’re in a better mood, should we stroll around the market to find something that would please you?”
“... Alright. It doesn’t sound too bad."
Instead of taking the carriage, we walked into the town market which was unsurprisingly filled with people. There was so much merchandise that the market spilled.
“There are a lot of things to choose from. Our purse is heavy so choose, my lady.”
“Don’t call me that in public.”
“... I’m sorry.”
“It has been a while since I got to shop so freely. Perhaps I should buy a dress.”
“I’m not sure…”
“It’s not for me. My friend recently got married so I need to send a wedding gift. What color should I pick? I’m not so informed about her color choices.”
“Perhaps turquoise would be to your liking?”
“Perhaps. Let’s go check them out then.”
“... If I didn’t know any better, I would’ve assumed I was in a gathering of women,” Lion mused.
“Your opinion wasn’t needed but it was delivered. Could you kindly shut up for the rest of the trip?”
“... Yes sir.”
Tyler looked quite experienced, leading us through the market to a more luxurious store which was quite flamboyant. Even as a former princess, it didn’t look like it was my style.
“Tyler, I’m really not sure…”
“It only looks like this on the outside. Please have a little more faith.”
Tyler opened the door and we stepped inside. A lady was bent over a sewing machine, her eyes concentrated. Beside her was who I assumed was her assistant, also focused on what she was doing. Tyler cleared his throat.
“Madame Haifa, you have a customer.”
It took a while but the woman’s face snapped up. She surprised me, having the strangest pair of eyes I have ever seen on a person; she had two different colored eyes! I had never seen a pair of eyes so beautiful in my life!
- Writer
