Moments To Live For

The Beginning

Chapter 2

The Beginning

One year ago.

My eyes opened to the bright rays of the Philippine sun. I looked around the well-lit room filled with flowers and cards and realized that I was in the hospital. Beside me was my baby sister, Angel. She was snuggled on the sofa bundled in her favorite blanket that she always took with her everywhere. My parents and I always thought she'd get over her fetish with her blanket, but here she is now, at 22 years of age, and still holding on to an item that brought her so much comfort. She woke up and jumped off the sofa, seeing that I was awake, and exclaimed, “Maria! Are you awake? How are you feeling? You had us so worried”. She held my hand and I felt better already. “What happened?”, I asked. Angel looked at me with so much concern as she told me the news, “You were in an accident, and you hit your head really badly”. You have been in a coma for almost a month now. Doctors had to operate on you. No one thought you would ever recover”. Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain in my head and the moment I held my head I noticed the bandage around it, I felt around my scalp and felt the scar. It was so surreal, it felt so impossible, I cannot even remember being in an accident at all.

My sister called in the nurse, who informed the doctors of the good news that I was awake. And then she proceeded to tell my parents as well.

After awhile my parents, bursts into the door, ran to my bed and gave me the tightest hug. My mom’s eyes swelling with tears telling me how scared she was of the thought that I was lost to them forever. they were hugging me for what felt like forever when the doctor walked into the room carrying a briefcase. She was an elderly woman with silver-white hair and a calm and warm expression on her face. She smiled at me and squeezed my shoulders gently as she told me how glad she was that I fought through the coma and was awake again. It was very hard not to like her right away. I'm glad my family chose her to be my doctor. She told me her name was Dr. Leni Gonzales and that she was my primary doctor. She narrated to me how the accident happened and how it impacted me, which is what caused the coma, and the medical procedures she had to do with me to save my life. I was grateful for her.

"Maria", Dr. Gonzales asked. "There are a few questions I have to ask you. Is that okay with you?". Okay! I struggled to say.

“Can you tell me anything about yourself?”, she then proceeded to ask.

My name is Maria Henson. I am 28 years old. I am the eldest among 2 siblings. My parents are Nolan and Lynda Henson. I live in the Philippines.

“Good”, said the doctor. Tell me more; Where do you go to school? Do you have a boyfriend? She asked and I said “No”. I’ve never had a boyfriend my whole life. I have such high standards of men especially after I've seen my little sister get hurt by so many, many times that I'm finding it hard to trust and believe that there are actually good men out there worthy of my love and attention. I've told my sister so many times to be more careful in choosing her boyfriends but, for Angel, being who she is, a hopeless romantic, she easily falls inlove with every guy that showers her with any form of romantic gesture. I look at her and I admire her determination and faith to finding her true love and at the same time thinks how stupid she must be for never learning. But, she is my sister and I love her.

Dr. Gonzales then took out a bunch of photographs and scattered it all over my bed and asked me to set aside all the photos with faces I recognized. I concentrated really hard and I felt like I was able to do this very quickly and easily. The doctor asked me a few more questions about my work and other events in my life the last few months but try as I might, there were some details that I just couldn’t remember. Finally, she showed me a picture of a house and a sunset photo of a beach somewhere in the Boracay Island. I knew that this place was where one of the country’s best beach is found but I couldn’t remember anything about it. The doctor kept asking me if I remember anything that happened to me on this beach but I was left confused. She kept pushing me for information and the more she asked the more angry I became. Eventually, I’ve had enough and I shouted at her to stop asking me anymore. “I told you, I don’t remember anything recent about this place! Leave me alone!”, I screamed. She stop and I apologized for being too harsh. She told me that it was perfectly normal. Apparently as she explained, Boracay was where the accident took place and that I was there on vacation with family when it happened.

After all the tests and interrogation by the doctor to check if my brain was functioning normal, my family rushed to my side to give me a hug. All of them where weeping uncontrollably I felt that I had to assure them that I was just fine.

The doctor then asked my parents to speak privately outside my hospital room, I saw my mom through the glass weeping, mouthing the words, “what will we do? How do we handle this?”, while my dad kept her steady with a hug. I couldn’t understand what was happening. After a long conversation, the doctor popped her head in my room again to tell me that she will have to keep me for a few more days for observation before she can send me home. I thanked her and we said goodbye.

My mom and dad went back in the room and I asked them what the doctor said. They explained that I was suffering from a Dissociative Amnesia, a condition in which a person cannot remember important information about their life. This forgetting may be limited to certain specific areas (thematic), or may include much of the person's life history and/or identity (general). I stared as I listened to my mom explain this. I thought I would feel sad but I wasn’t. I couldn’t feel sad for something that I don’t even remember. So I just sat there with a blank expression on my face. I told my family I am only glad I didn’t forget the most important, my family and that is all that mattered to me.

I was discharged 2 days after and it was such a great feeling to be out again. Dr. Gonzales was very clear with me when she said that the best way for me now is to start from the beginning, to learn everything again one step at a time as not to overwhelm me. She told me this is my chance to start fresh. It is also very important to revisit the places that gives me the most happiness in the hope that it will help me bring some of my memories back. And my family was told to never overwhelm me with so much information as it will only make me upset.

So of course, my family being my family, our first stop after the hospital was to get ice cream because as they say, ice cream is always a good idea.

As I savored my ice cream, I imagined what my new life will look like and how I want to begin.