Chapter 12: A Deep Cut

1472 Words
I lock my apartment door behind me and just stand there for a second, keys still in my hand. The hallway smells faintly like cleaning spray, something sharp and fake. It’s quiet. Too quiet. I force myself to move, walking out to the street to find a cab, even though my head already feels full. The morning air hits my face, cool and normal, like nothing in my life is slipping out of place. But my thoughts won’t stop. Dante keeps pushing in, over and over, without me meaning to. The way he looked at me. The way he didn’t. The call. The silence. The distance sitting in his eyes like I was suddenly someone he had to think about. It all loops until I feel it heavy in my chest. When I finally get into a cab, I lean back and stare out the window. Cars pass. People move. A woman laughs into her phone. A man runs across the road with coffee in one hand. I don’t really see any of it. My mind keeps dragging me back, pulling apart every small moment like if I think hard enough, something will finally make sense. By the time we reach Vane City, my chest feels tight, like I’ve been holding my breath the whole ride. I pay the driver and step out, adjusting my bag on my shoulder. The building is right there, same as always. Usually it settles me. Today it just feels like something I need to survive. Inside, I go straight to my classroom. No talking. No stopping. I start cleaning, wiping tables, lining up chairs, stacking books, anything to keep my hands moving. If I stop, I’ll think too much. And right now, thinking feels dangerous. But even simple things feel heavy. The glass slips before I even realize it. It hits the floor and shatters, sharp and loud. I flinch, then bend down quickly to pick it up, but a sharp sting cuts through my hand. I freeze. For a second, I just stare at it. Blood spreads across my palm, warm and bright, dripping onto the floor. It should hurt more. I know it should. But I just look at it like it belongs to somebody else. Someone rushes in. I barely notice until a hand touches my shoulder. “You need to take a day off, dear. Please go to a doctor,” she says softly. Doctor. That word pulls me back a little. I blink and look up. “I’m fine, Mrs Robertson,” I say quietly. “It’s just a small scratch.” Even as I say it, the sting starts pulsing harder. I wrap it up anyway. Tight. Like pressure can make problems smaller. They send me to the bathroom to clean it properly, and this time I really look at it. It’s deeper than I thought. The water stings enough to make me suck in a breath. I tighten the bandage and stare at myself in the mirror. “Focus, Jade…” I whisper. But my reflection doesn’t look focused. It looks far away. Like I’m standing here, but the rest of me never came in. I take a breath and go back out. And then I see her. Leondra walks in like she owns the place, two polished women behind her. Her eyes find me right away, like she came here for one reason. My stomach tightens. She sits down without hesitation, like this is normal. I try to keep moving. Juice. Smiles. Toddlers. Routine. My hand throbs under the bandage, but I ignore it. I can feel her watching me. I refuse to look at her. Then she raises her hand. “Sorry ma’am,” she says calmly. “Are people who are pregnant allowed to drink juice?” My heart drops so fast it almost hurts. The tray slips out of my hands. Cups scatter across the floor, the sound too loud in the sudden silence. My ears ring, and for a second, I can’t move. I can feel everyone looking, but I don’t see them. Pregnant. The word hits me again. Harder this time. The senior teacher steps in quickly, guiding me away, her hand firm but kind. I don’t argue. I don’t have enough inside me to argue. Her voice sounds far away as she tells me to take a week off, come back next Monday, rest. I just nod. I walk out slowly, like my body is moving on its own. The building feels louder now. Every sound sharp. Every voice annoying. My hand trembles as I reach for my phone. Pregnant. The thought won’t leave. It keeps repeating, pulling tighter each time. I press Dante’s name and call. It rings. No answer. I call again. And again. And again. My fingers start shaking, but I don’t stop. I need him to answer. I need him to say something. Anything. Thirteen missed calls. Nothing. I stand outside staring at my phone while people walk past me like I’m invisible. The world keeps moving. Cars. Voices. Life. And I just stand there, stuck. I don’t even know how I’m supposed to get back to Garrison Bay. A car pulls up in front of me, and at first I don’t react. I’m still staring at my phone like it might suddenly fix everything. Then I look up properly. It’s Mike. Relief hits me so fast it almost makes me dizzy. He sees me right away. Something changes in his face, like he already knows I’m not okay. He parks quickly and gets out, walking straight toward me. His eyes drop to my hand at once. “Jade, are you alright? That looks painful… is it deep?” he asks. I follow his gaze like I forgot the cut was even there. The bandage is stained darker now. I didn’t even notice it bleeding through. Before I can answer, he motions toward the car. “Let me take you to a doctor, okay.” I hesitate. My head feels slow, like everything is happening one second late, but my body moves anyway. I nod and let him guide me, too tired to explain anything. I don’t trust my voice right now. The car smells clean and expensive. Soft. Calm. It makes me sink into the seat a little. It’s quiet between us, but not awkward. Just space. Space I didn’t know I needed. After a few minutes, he picks up his phone and calls someone. I barely hear the words. “Hey, bro… need your help… health center…” His voice stays steady. Normal. “We’re heading to Garrison Bay Hospital,” he says after hanging up. My whole body stiffens. “Wait… Garrison Bay Hospital?” I repeat softly. My stomach twists. Dante. Leondra. Everything I’ve been trying not to think about crashes back at once. “Can… can you take me home instead? Please?” I say. “I don’t have anyone else who can take me. I promise I’ll pay you ba—” I stop. I don’t even know why I’m talking like that. He shakes his head gently. “it’s fine. I was actually heading home anyway. Don’t worry about it.” His voice softens. “You don’t have to pay me.” Something about that makes my chest loosen just a little. No pressure. No questions. Just simple kindness. I nod and turn toward the window. The city passes in a blur. Pregnant. The word keeps coming back. And Dante didn’t answer. That part hurts the most. By the time we reach my building, I feel drained. We both step out, and he walks me to the entrance without making it strange. He stops there, giving me space. “Are you going to be okay?” he asks. I look at him properly this time. “Yes… thanks, Mike. I really appreciate it.” And I mean it. He nods. I head inside. In the bathroom, I peel off the soaked bandage. The cut looks worse now. I run cold water over it. It stings sharp enough to make me tense, but I don’t pull away. I just watch the blood wash off like it belongs to someone else. Then I wrap it again. Tighter this time. My hands move slowly. My head is somewhere else. Dante’s face. His voice. The way everything feels like it’s slipping. Does he still want to marry me? The thought hits harder than I expect. A soft ping cuts through the silence. I freeze. Slowly, I pull out my phone. My heart starts racing before I even unlock it. It’s him. Dante. Message: I saw the missed calls. I was in a meeting. What did you want to say? I stare at the screen. For a long second, I don’t even know where to start.
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