Making A Luna

SECRETS

Logan

I opened my eyes to find myself in a small dimly lit room. Looking to my left, I saw a monitor that seemed to be attached to me. The attack. It was all coming back to me now, I had been trying to help Roman when a rogue had attacked me. The last thing I remembered was trying to fight him as he was on top of me. I heard someone move and darted my eyes towards the door - she was here. “Essie?” I croaked, struggling to speak. Hesitantly, she turned around and crept up to my bedside. “How do you feel?” She asked, concern in her voice. “Like I was almost torn apart” I joked, trying to make light of the situation. Now that she was closer, I could see the tears forming in her eyes. “Essie, I’m okay honest. I’ll be as good as new in no time, you’ll see” I promised. She couldn’t bring herself to look me in the eyeband my heart sunk. “Why are you here?” I questioned. “I had to know you were okay. And I’m glad you’re okay. So I’m going to go now.” Was she really just going to leave? “But- we need to talk” I pushed, not wanting to let her leave. “Talk about what Logan? Talk about the fact that you keep kissing me? You’re not my mate and I’m not yours. So please just stop messing with me and leave me be. If you care about me you’ll stop” Esme shrieked at me now. “Bye Logan” she muttered as she walked out the room. How could she still not feel the mate bond? Did our kiss mean nothing to her? Did she feel like I was forcing myself upon her? I had waited 2 years for her to notice me, to have her as mine. I did not wait 2 years to lose her before I even had her. For the first time since I could remember, I let myself shed a tear. I couldn’t handle this constant rejection from my mate for much longer, it was killing me inside.

-

“Hey Logan, how you feeling?” Mason asked walking into the room. I let out a chuckle as he stared at me like I was losing my mind. “Well, I’ve seen better days” I admitted. I felt the tears threatening my eyes again as I tried to smile at my brother. I had let myself sleep again after Esme had left, not wanting to be able to think about what she had said. “Well I will admit, you don’t look too great” Mason laughed. “Still more handsome than you though” I joked. I had missed my brother more than I had realised. Growing up Mason had always followed me everywhere, wanting to do everything I did. Things had changed a little when him and Esme started spending more and more time together, but I knew he had always looked up to me. That made it all the harder when I found out Esme was my mate on my 18th birthday. I had selfishly been relieved when Mason found his mate on his birthday, it meant that I didn’t have to wait around for Esme. Well that’s what I had thought anyway. I was never going to be the one to get in the way of what they had, I just had to ride it out until one of them stepped back. “Mason, I think it’s time I told you something” I spoke out. I couldn’t continue to lie and hide the truth from my brother. Although I hated to admit it, he may be able to help me understand what is going on and I knew he wanted to see Esme happy. “What is it?” I took a deep breath, preparing myself for all the possible reactions he may have. “I’ve been lying to everyone for a long time now, about my mate” I confessed, looking up to see Mason staring at me blankly. “What do you mean, have you found her?” He implored, sounding the most confused I think I’d ever seen him. Deep breath Logan, deep breath. It was now or never. “No I’m just - I’m just really losing hope about finding her. I can’t keep pretending it isn’t killing me” I lied, not being able to bring myself to tell my brother the truth. Mason looked at me with pity. Of course he wouldn’t understand, he had found his mate on his 18th birthday and she had accepted him with open arms. “You’re one of the lucky ones you know. To have found Blaire on your birthday, to know that you don’t have to wait or search for her, that’s rare. Most wolves would kill to be in your position, so you should know just how lucky you are.” Now was not the time to tell him about Esme I decided, there was too much going on right now. “I know that Logan, I do. You will find her soon, you and Esme will both find your mates. I have to believe that, so do you” Mason declared but I could tell he wasn’t so certain. I nodded my head in agreement not wanting to talk about this anymore. Mason cleared his throat before asking something I had no answer for. “So what we’re you doing here last night Logan?”

Esme

“So a lot of it you will just have to learn as you go along, and Luna Calliope is an amazing Luna. I know I said I’d help, but my knowledge is limited compared to hers.” Blaire nodded at me as she took in what I was saying. “So what happens if Mason goes away, but I am here?” She asked. “Well, you would have to make sure things ran smoothly back here. You’d have to keep the pack updated on everything they needed to know, make sure training sessions were going ahead, making sure patrol was sorted” I informed her confidently. I could have done any of that in my sleep. “Don’t worry Blaire, you’re going to be okay. There’s a reason you were chosen to be our packs Luna” I tried to reassure her, seeing the fear on her face. “I didn’t think that there would be so much I would have to do” she admitted, looking down at the floor. “That’s part of being the Luna. You have to be there to support Mason, think of the pressure he is under every single day as alpha” I suggested, hoping she would realise that she could do this. “But Mason is going to be the alpha. He was born and raised being taught everything he would need to know. He’s had a lifetime, I’ve only got a matter of weeks” Blaire trembled in front of me. “Did you think it would be easy? Look either you want to learn or you don’t. Maybe you should have thought about all of this before you accepted Mason as your mate” I retorted. Surely she hadn’t thought that it would be all fun and games, was she so stupid to not have thought about the responsibilities that she would face? Blaire unravelled in front of me and began to break out into a sob, forcing a pang of guilt to hit me. “Look Blaire, I know it’s daunting but it’s going to be okay. Lets leave it there for today, go and chill out” I changed my tune. Sometimes I needed to remember that Blaire was brought up differently to me, she didn’t have the luxury of having the Luna as her second mother. As of 5 years ago she hadn’t even had a mum at all. She stood up and walked away without saying a word.

Blaire

I walked into my room feeling deflated. The way Esme had looked at me, I could tell exactly what she was thinking. I agreed with her - I was in over my head and everyone knew it. I hadn’t even given anything a second thought when accepting Mason as my mate, I had been so made up that I’d found him. I didn’t think and now here I was, about to fail my mate as his luna. I turned on the taps and ran myself a hot Bath. Hopefully this would help calm my nerves down. I watched the water run, mixing with the bubble Bath. I just needed to let myself breathe, just for a while. I climbed into the tub and let myself sink into the water as it engulfed my body. Laying my head back, I moved my fingers through my hair letting the water flow through it. Relax. Why was it so hard to just let my thoughts go, just temporarily? Mason was so quick to welcome me, accepting me as his mate without hesitation. I allowed myself to think of the night we met, replaying it over in my head like my own personal movie. My moment was interrupted by a gentle tap on the bathroom door. “Blaire are you in there” Mason called. “I’m just taking a bath I’ll-” I stopped mid sentence as Mason let himself in. “Taking a bath without me? Traitor” he joked as he leaned in to give me a kiss. “How was your day my mate?” Terrible I thought, not letting myself speak aloud. “It was good. Me and Esme made some real progress” I lied, not wanting him to be disappointed in me. “I’m so proud of you, I couldn’t ask for a better mate” he beamed staring at me lovingly. “What did I do to deserve you?” He smiled at me, caressing my cheek. In response I smiled at my mate, taking in his beauty. I really was the most lucky she wolf in the world. I could only hope that Esme would meet her mate soon enough so that the heavy weight on my heart would leave. Every moment I spent with Mason was overshadowed by the thoughts of how it must hurt her. To see us together, to know that her best friend was the one who came between her and Mason. I had tried to force these thoughts out of my head but the guilt I felt was overwhelming at times. As far as I was concerned, what I had done was the ultimate betrayal and I wouldn’t blame Esme if she had hated me. But she didn’t. Instead of lashing out she had offered to help me once again proving she was a better person than I would ever be. “I’ve got to go but I’ll be back soon” he promised. “I expect there to be no clothing when I return” he winked walking out of the room. I pulled myself out of the tub and wrapped my towel around me. Looking at myself in the mirror, I couldn’t help but feel completely inferior. How had I managed to mate with someone like Mason? As I pulled my robe around me I heard my phone ring. “Hi daddy” I chimed, happy to hear from my father. “Hi sweetheart. Are you okay?” He asked. “Im great, just enjoying spending time with Esme. I didn’t realise how much I had missed her.” It wasn’t a complete lie, I was spending time with Esme and I had missed her. “That’s good to hear. When are you coming home?” He continued. I knew he was desperate to have me home, to see me and know I was safe. “I’m just waiting until it’s safe. You know there have been several rogue attacks in the area recently.” Again not a complete lie. “I don’t like you being away from home for so long. You were only meant to stay a couple of days and it’s been a week now!” He complained. It wasn’t fair to keep lying to him, he deserved to know what was really going on. “Dad, there’s something I need to tell you” I worked up the courage to tell him about Mason. “What’s that sweetheart?” I didn’t get the chance to answer as Mason came bouncing through the door. “I love you so much” I diverted the conversation, not wanting Mason to know I was yet to tell my father about him. “I love you too, look Blaire honey I’ve got to go but it was great to hear your voice” he responded, taking the lie before hanging up his phone. I knew that I needed to tell him the truth, about Mason. I needed to do it soon.