Chapter 5 - Michael
1426 Words
‘There’s nothing you can do. Just leave him to rest.’
Not very helpful advice from Zean, but what else is there. I had healers try to heal him when he first was in a coma. They healed his body, but the brain is a different thing. Whatever they did to him damaged, him beyond what his healing ability can fix. So I’ve been researching human brain trauma, because we just don’t get them.
From everything I read, along with his memory loss, Jaed was exhibiting PTSD-like symptoms. That would explain why he was acting weird on the balcony. He was terrified of something, but there was nothing there. Was his brain trying to remember? I clench my fists in anger as I look at the old woman tucking him in.
I shouldn’t have told him about The Box. It’s my fault he’s unconscious again.
After he passed out, I took the chance and portalled out to grab Alya. I can’t take the time to watch him. She knows what I am after I saved her over 60 years ago. As a human, she is very sensitive to us other beings. She knew right away that I wasn’t human. She thought I was a mal’ach, an angel.
Angel…
I shake my head to stop that train of thought.
“Micha’el?”
I look at Alya’s wizened face. Wrinkles adorn her face and her eyes sport the beginnings of cataracts, but her inner beauty still shines through. I can’t remember when she had gotten so old. It seems like yesterday that she was a spry young woman. Never married, she believed it was her destiny to help me. No matter what I said she would not budge. I am saddened by the thought that her bloodline will stop with her. She is one of the few people I trust completely, a true friend. I need to search for Jane, so Alya will watch after Jaed again. I stand up and gather her in my arms. Her hug rejuvenates me and I give her a kiss on the forehead.
“Message me if you think he’s waking up. I must go hunt.”
She lets me go and turns to Jaed’s still form.
“I will keep him for you.”
I’m reluctant to leave, but with nothing left to wait for, I must start looking for traces of Jane. I cannot let this hold me back. I made a promise to Zean that my personal feelings will not get in the way.
It was the only way to keep Zean from alerting others about him. I couldn’t let that happen. I can’t explain it, but I have a feeling that I will need Jaed to help control Kadis. I don’t have a Wray’s ability of sight, but I know keeping him alive is the right thing to do. And right now, the way to do that is to hold true to my promise.
Jaed is an asset in war, nothing else.
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I’m tired and grumpy. I have gotten nowhere! I hang my head in bitter defeat.
You know what you have to do…
I have to swallow my pride and break my vow that I would not use my ability on anyone. I vowed not to use it because I feel it’s immoral. But it will make my search go faster. I prefer to rely on my knowledge and my physical abilities instead. Even when I was a full-fledged Demon Hunter, I refused to use it. It is the harder road to take but I believe that it is the right one. I’m a daemon. I was born of light and hope. I am here to protect the innocent and weak. I believe that my ability is hypocritical of that purpose.
There are very few of my caste left and we all have limited, if not outright stopped the use of our ability. It is even whispered amongst other castes that we actually have no power. But still, we are highly respected, no one wants to test that theory out. Some younger daemons and fae actually believe my caste is extinct, but the ones who know better, stay clear.
But with the amount of lives on the line, I have to make the decision that the use of my ability is for the greater good. I’ll fight myself about it later, but for now I have to do what needs to be done. Unless I want to call in reinforcements to help, I have to use it. Do I risk Jane’s safety by telling more people about her, or live with the guilt of my broken vow? I choose guilt.
I paste a vision of Jane in my head to reinforce my decision. I stop in the middle of the sidewalk and break the wall I built. My power flows out like water released from a dam. I allow humans to see me and I quickly find myself surrounded by a group of them. The adoration in their eyes makes me wince, but I don’t stop. I chose a young man and the others reluctantly stay behind. Their eyes following us in jealousy. I forgot how potent my aura is and I feel sick to my stomach at the passive look on my guide’s face.
I pick his brain easily, he tells me everything. He takes me to his friend, who is quickly ensnared as well. I hop from one guide to another, gaining their trust with my aura, getting the information I need, and then leaving them. I’m not sure of any side effects of my aura, but in the days when I used it humans and some lesser caste fae and daemons never got over their enthrallment of me. Oh, they would be ok if I wasn’t near, but as soon as I was anywhere near them, even if my aura wasn’t activated, they would immediately be caught again. I couldn’t bear the look on their faces when that happened. They forgot about everything but me. They would leave their loved ones, forget about their responsibilities, and do whatever I wanted them to do. I only had to say the word.
Using it made me no better than a demon, and I feel tainted with the knowledge.
No better than an Archon’s aura.
And now I have to live with the knowledge that I may have irreversibly harmed the humans that I used it on. But I have to do it. I have to do it to save them.
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Days later, I portal back to the apartment and check in on Jaed. He looks like he hasn’t moved. Alya has brought a chair into the bedroom and has fallen asleep next to him. I gently pick her up in my arms and carry her to her room. She wraps her arms around me and gives me a kiss on the cheek when I put her down on the bed. I tuck her in and she falls back to sleep. I check in one more time on Jaed and then head to the shower.
I feel dirty, inside and out. But the water will not wash away the feeling of guilt. I don’t think I’ll ever feel clean again. I used my power and took a being’s free will from them. For the first time in a very long time I let myself go and my tears are washed down the drain with the water.
When I went to shut down my aura, I couldn’t. Not at first. Like a dam that has been broken, I couldn’t just wall it up again. I portaled to the middle of nowhere and brick by brick I shut it down. Why were we cursed with this ability? Others either have combative powers or powers that do good. Mine only hurts others. I may have been using it to help me find Jane, but in the end those people I used it on are the ones that will pay the price.
But I did it. I found her. I found Jane. I would have already gone to talk to her, but I couldn’t turn my aura off, and there was no way in hell I was going to meet her with it activated. I need to rest and refresh before contacting her. I step out of the shower and wipe the steam from the mirror. I force myself to look in it and face me. To see what I have done.
I only hope it’s worth it.
- Writer
