Second Chances

Can I Hug You?

"Kendrick," I asked again this time, with considerable pressure.

He answered: "It's not your highness who served me the dinner, how could I offend her with my disobedience?"

I wanted to hug and comfort the youngster, to tell him that it's all okay to display his emotions, but that's not the perfect moment. Actually, things only got worse today.

"Lord Kendrick " I asked the boy who looked down to get the attention.

"I order that you never do something harmful to you, even if I do not ask you directly to do so," I said with the greatest voice I could make, but my voice fell low.

I looked up to stop the tears, both for him and me, that were flowing in my eyes.

I yelled "Nia" in a very frigid voice,

I know the dish had berries but it wasn't her mistake. She must be uninformed of Kendrick's allergies, because the duchess' staff was never related to the Lord's room.

Nevertheless, I was upset, angry and frustrated to hurl them all out of the palace.

"Go and call the palace doctor at this moment," I roared sharper than I thought, and felt her legs stumbling.

"To inform him, to take lord Kendrick's allergy medicine, and tell him he has eaten raspberries," I added to describe the remedy.

"Yes," she bowed, practically hurried out of the hall, leaving the other females behind shaking.

I could see in his hands the crimson spots, but his face nevertheless had no emotions. 'how much he had suffered to control his emotions at this early age'

I called the statue again "Lord Kendrick" and he merely looked at me waiting for my further orders.

"I am sorry," I sincerely apologised, but like always he only nodded.

"Your highness, it is nothing, you don't have to apologise," he added staring at my face.

"Lord Kendrick," I called him again, rubbing my hands on his hands softly to relieve the anguish.

He stared back at me and still answered, "Yes, your highness" with blank and stony eyes.

I shook my hands hesitantly towards his face and stroked his cheek. Slowly and softly rubbing my thumb on his cheeks, I met his eyes looking for my face's reactions. He could see the tears in my eyes, I was sure.

"Kendrick, can I hug you?" I requested with a stirring voice, I removed the lord's tag, I showed him all the intimacy I want in this little act and finally destroyed his façade.

I could see surprises in his blank eyes, he'd assume it was all a façade to harm him. But he never thought I'd ask him to hug me with teary eyes.

Also as he formed crimson patches throughout his entire body, he looked at those marks unexpectedly. And no Noble man or woman would like to touch him like that. Thank you so much for this shock to shatter his façade away, even if a little.

Even after a while, when he didn't answer, I summoned my bravery and came near. I was confident once that he wouldn't push me away, like I did with him always. I hugged him, I tightly hugged him, putting all my raw feelings in the hug.

I heard the whispers growing, the sound of something falling on the ground and a loud, shattering voice, I heard the door open and closed and many more voices. But I kept clutching the boy in my arms.

The boy who I tortured all my life, the boy who told me to kill in his cold voice. I am saving his innocence this time, and my life too.

"Your highness." "Your highness." I heard him talk, I moved in my arms and tried to free him. That's when I realised that I was too close to the comfort of a person.

"I apologise, Lord Kilian," I told him distancing us, but he didn't comment on the hug that I had given him but I could see his face and his ears turned red.

"Oh my, Lord Kendrick has deteriorated your condition" I panicked and looked around and sought aid. That's when I saw that the royal doctor stood there already and gazed at us with broad eyes.

Ignoring his disobedience to look at the duchess plainly, I told him to get close and spoke: "The allergy of lord Kendrick has reacted, because he had eaten the berries. Treat him as quickly as possible"

He finally came out of his coma and nodded and made great steps towards us. He laid his palm on the face of Kendrick and then checked the seriousness of the situation.

I watched the way he checked him from the sidelines. After he finally moved and put his hand in his bag, he took the pills and the lotion after what felt like an age.

I had taken the glass of water from the table and sent it to him without waiting for the maid who was heading slowly in our route.

He grabbed the glass with the same blank smile as if my illusion was the hug we had. As if our relationship had not, if any, moved a stride towards improvement, it had been worse. 'It's because he's still accusing me of feeding him baits'

As I saw him take the pills, my eyes turned down. I wanted to ask if I may use his body lotion, but I didn't. It seemed like I had already expended all the courage I brought back to life yesterday.

The chores I thought were easy like eating a dessert now looked harder than climbing a mountain.

I sighed audibly and heard the group of maids around me. But I had no more energy to react or to shine on them. And that wasn't their error. They had never before seen me display feelings like that. For them, I was a tranquil and properly groomed noble lady.

I heard Kendrick summon me with the same cold voice, "Your highness," and for a second I even watched the cold eyes command my murder.

I asked, "Yes, Lord Kendrick" to suppress my panic, thank gods, that my voice sounded powerful enough.

"Your highness I have to use medicine," he remarked gazing at the lotion in a royal doctor's hands, it was a subtle indication that I should go now.