Roman

27 - It's always been you

Marley

Roman cups my face with his big hand, my eyes close to the touch. God, his hand is bigger than my face. I’m so small compared to this giant of a man.

But why do I feel like we belong together?

And why do I like it so much when he touches me?

He slides his thumb over my lips, and my breathing hitches.

“Does it feel like this when he touches you, Marley?”

I shake my head.

It doesn’t feel like this when David touches me. Not that he’s done more than touch my face and hug me. Kiss my cheek, a peck to my lip, but nothing more.

Nothing feels like this.

Nothing.

Roman leans into me, his lips next to my ear and my puss.y is aching. Oh God, I’m not supposed to be turned on like this, but I can’t deny how he makes me feel. No one has ever made me feel the way Roman does.

It isn’t wrong because I love him. I love him as I have never loved anyone else, and that includes David.

“Does he make your body ache the way I do?”

Oh, shi.t.

I shake my head again. It’s all I can do because my mouth is dry, and my heart is pounding.

But I don’t want Roman to think that I allowed David to touch me like this. I didn’t. I know I’ve said it once, but it’s as if he didn’t even hear me.

“He doesn’t touch me, Roman. I’ve never allowed him to touch me.”

Roman looks at me; his hand is still on my face, and I bite my bottom lip. “Does he kiss these beautiful lips, Marley?” He asks as he tugs my lip from between my teeth with his thumb.

“He kissed me once, Roman. I know that he wants to again,” I can’t and won’t lie to him, apart from not telling him about when David and I kissed at the hospital. I’m scared of what Roman would do if that piece of information came out. “But I pull away. I feel like I’m cheating on you just talking to him.”

I feel a tear slip from my eye. My life is confusing right now, albeit not as confusing as it was. I’m not confused about who I love because it will always be Roman. Everything else I will deal with through therapy. I will never put Roman through anything again like this for as long as I live.

I can’t deny that when I was with David, I thought about Roman, and I was uncomfortable just being there. When I’m with Roman, I think of nothing but him. He’s the one that holds my heart. I know that now. I love him so much. So, fuckin.g much.

What I had with David is gone. I know that more than anything. I realize now that everything he did to me when we were together was not right. I couldn’t see it back then, all the red flags everyone else around me warned me about. But I see them clearly now.

I saw a future filled with pain and suffering. I saw my little girl suffering along with me, and I couldn’t bear it. I couldn’t because I knew, just like me, she would end up marrying a man just as bad. I never want my little girl to end up like that. We both deserve more, and I’m going to make sure my daughter gets the best of everything. What’s best for my little girl is her father. Roman and Romany are my future. I want to be with them.

“He doesn’t kiss you when he makes love to you?”

My heart sinks.

Roman really thinks I’d sleep with David?

God, the thought makes me sick. The idea never even entered my head. It honestly didn’t.

Roman is my man; I’ve known that all along. That’s why I couldn’t bring myself to let David so much as touch my face without cringing.

“I haven’t slept with him, Roman. I haven’t since the last time we were together over six years ago. I couldn’t bear the thought of him touching me like that.”

I take his big hand and lay it over my heart. I can’t stop the tears.

What the hell have I done to this man for him to think I’d do something like that?

Roman has been so patient with me over these past few weeks. He moved out of our house to give me time to get my head around everything. He’s there when I need him, never pushing me to make a decision. He always has a smile for me and takes such wonderful care of our little girl.

What more could a woman want than the man beside me?

On the other hand, David can’t wait, won’t wait. He wants me to pick him, and pick him now. If I needed him, he wouldn’t come to me, especially if he was at work.

Roman would drop everything to get to me should I need him, no matter where he was or what he was doing. Nothing is more important to him than Romany and me.

“Why are you crying, baby? Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Why are you so good to me, Roman? Why aren’t you angry with me? Most men would never allow their woman to...”

“I’m not most men, Marley.” I nod. I know that much. “I will not force you to be with me. I won’t be the man who makes you so unhappy that you could never truly be mine. I could keep you with me, refuse to give you up, but where would it get me in the end?”

“Is it any wonder that I love you so much?” I smile at the look on his face.

This man is perfect. Literally. I’m in love with Roman, and it’s intense love, a rare passion. A love I have never felt before.

Yes, I loved David, but I have to put the past behind me. It’s gone, not coming back. This man in front of me is everything. I’m happy, so very happy. I’m safe, and my daughter is safe. Her daddy will always take care of us. I am never going to leave him. A huge weight has been lifted off my once-heavy shoulders.

I have to speak to David and make him understand that we are done. What we had is now gone.

I stroke Roman’s face with my fingertips and smile. Nothing hurts right now. Everything inside of me feels light. “I’m in love with you, Roman. I am so sorry for what I have put you through. But it’s over now. I love you, and I want you to come home. Please forgive me, Roman.”

“You mean...”

“Yes,” I nod. “I choose you. God, it’s always been you.” I throw myself at him, straddling his lap, our mouths crashing together, and I moan into his mouth. This is my man, the man I love with all that I am, and I am never going to leave him or let him leave me again.

“You’re forgiven.” He growls against my mouth before kissing me again.

His hands snake down my back to my backside, squeezing my cheeks and causing me to moan louder. I’m shamelessly rubbing my jean-clad puss.y against him. I want him so badly right now, and there is no doubt in my mind that this is what it is meant to be.

“Take me to bed, Roman. Make love to me, baby.”

He growls deep in his throat, grabs me under my ass, and lifts me up. I wrap my legs around his waist, my arms around his neck, and I’m kissing the shi.t out of him as he walks me to our bedroom. Our bedroom because he’s coming home.