Roman

8 - My David

Marley

“What are you doing here?”

“I work here.” Well, duh. If the white coat and stethoscope didn’t give it away, nothing will. “I heard you were brought in. Well, I heard a colleague mention your name along with those bikers who brought you in. I thought, ‘They can’t mean my Marley. Can they?’ Yet here you are.” David’s eyes linger on my newborn daughter.

I pull Romany closer to me and kiss her head.

I gave birth just a few short hours ago, I’m emotional already, and now this?

Seeing David again was the last thing I imagined would happen today, or ever again, for that matter. When I look at David, I still see the man I once loved, the man who had my heart from the moment I first saw him. David and I should have been married by now, and both of us doctors. Maybe Romany would have been his child, and this would have been our moment with our daughter.

But it isn’t our moment, and Romany is not his daughter. This is Roman’s little girl, and I will never regret that. I hold onto a lot of regret and shame, but Romany will never be one of them.

Who could ever regret the best thing that ever happened to them?

I can’t even say that I wish Romany was David’s because I don’t. I realized in my solitude that if David and I had ever been blessed with a child, that child would have been used to control me. I would never want that for my child, having a father who belittles and humiliates their mother in front of them daily.

No, I’m glad she’s Roman’s. I’m happy that he loves me, and that makes me feel like a damn cheat right now. However, I’m not sure whom I’m cheating on, Roman for even being in the same room as my ex or David for loving Roman when we never officially broke up.

I don’t like how this feels inside, not one little bit.

I hadn’t noticed David come closer, although I felt the bed dip a little as he sat beside me.

“I thought you were dead.” He all but whispers, and I feel his pain because it’s mine, too.

I’d come to terms with the fact I’d never see David again. I let go of what we had a couple of years ago. I put it all to rest. I knew there was no point hanging on to what we had when I knew I’d never even attempt to find him. Everything that happened to me put pay to the life I had with David, it was gone, and it wouldn’t be coming back.

Finding out I was pregnant, I thought I was ready to move on with Roman. I thought he was my future, my love. Now, I’m not so sure. Seeing David here has confused me so much. Yes, I honestly do love Roman, but I still love David, and I can’t deny it. This shi.t hurts.

“Why did you leave me, Marley? I thought we were happy.” David cups my face.

I finally look into his eyes, and tears fall from his and mine.

“We were happy, David. I was so happy being with you. I didn’t leave you willingly. You have to believe me. My father, he gave me...” I hiccup a sob. This is so hard. This man was my future. This man was the love of my life. “He gave me to some bikers as payment for his debts.”

David’s eyes close, and something tells me he’s not shocked by what I’ve just told him. “He told me you left me. He said you ran off because you...” He opens his eyes. I am not remotely surprised that my father lied to David.

What else was he supposed to say to the man I was to marry?

“The bikers outside...”

“Are not the club that my father gave me to. Those men were monsters; they did such bad things to me.” I swallow hard, and David is watching me intently. “I escaped them, David, and I wanted so badly to come home to you, but I couldn’t. I was messed up, and I didn’t want you to see me like that. I hid for two long years all by myself. It took me that long to get through a day without wishing I was dead.”

“Oh, baby,” I squeeze his hand. God knows it feels so good to hold his hand again. The memories it’s bringing back make me feel warm inside. “How did you end up with those?” He nods toward the door.

“One of their men was injured. I found him and healed him. Stuff happened, and the men whom my father gave me to before found me again. The club those men out there belong to saved me.”

“And how does she come into this?” David asks while stroking Romany’s little head.

I swallow hard. This will sound terrible to David, the man I swore to love forever, but it’s been six years since I last saw this man – six years without him. However, I won’t lie to him. I never have because he would never have stood for it when we were together, and I doubt now would be any different.

“I fell for one of them.” He breathes deeply. Angrily. “Listen to me, David. It was only once, then I left. Romany was a surprise, and I won’t apologize for having her. But I couldn’t cope alone, and I knew she needed her father.”

“You love him?”

“Not the way I loved you.” And that’s the truth. I hardly know Roman at all, but I know David. He’s where my heart lay for so long.

But I do love Roman, and I know that my heart sings when he’s near me, and he makes me smile like no one ever has before. He makes me feel safe and invincible, and now I am so confused that I don’t know what to do.

Am I meant to choose between these two men who hold my heart?

How the hell would I even do that when I don’t know who my heart beats for the most?

“He saved my life, David. I didn’t mean to fall in love with him, but he made it so easy to do. God,” I lower my head and cry.

What the hell am I supposed to do now?

My heart is tearing in two different directions.

“Come here,” I didn’t even know he was now beside me, but his arm comes around my shoulder, pulling me to him. I want to push him away, but this is David, my David, and that’s why I lay my head on his shoulder and let him hold me. Maybe I should have put Romany down first, but I didn’t. I just hold her close to me.

I feel a little warm. I shouldn’t feel like this when I’ve just given birth, but as I look into David’s eyes, I see the love swimming there, the love he promised would never die.

How is it possible for this man to be even more handsome than he was six years ago?

His blonde hair and dark eyes make his chiseled features more alluring. He’s not an overly built man. He never has been, but he’s been taking care of himself. I can tell without even seeing his body.

David used to say how much he loved my body, but only when he was in a good mood. When he came home angry or annoyed, he would put me down and tell me how fat and ugly I was. I wasn’t fat, but I began to believe those hurtful things David said about me.

That doesn’t matter now because he wouldn’t be attracted to me in any way if he saw me without my clothes. Not with the mass of scars dominating my body now.

Not the way Roman still finds me sex.y. Never once did Roman make me feel less than, and never once did he put me down or make mean comments about how I look. He made me feel like a queen. His queen.

What the hell am I going to do?

“I have missed you so much, Marley.”

“I’ve missed you, too.” It’s a whisper, a whisper, because I couldn’t make my voice any louder if I tried.

Then he does something I know could end his life. I’ve been around bikers long enough to know what happens to any man who touches what’s theirs, and I belong to Roman now as much as Romany does. I allowed him to claim me when I walked into that clubhouse earlier today.

But why am I kissing David as if my life depends on it?

Every part of me aches for him. As crazy as that sounds when I gave birth today, kissing him is like coming home. He’s my comfort blanket, my safe haven, my...

Oh, my God, what am I doing?

I can’t do this to Roman; he’s been nothing but good to me, and I love him, but I love David, too.

Oh, God, I’m so confused!

But if Roman finds out about this, he will kill David, no questions asked!

I push David by his chest away from me. “Stop, David. We can’t do this. I’m not yours anymore.”

“You will always be mine, Marley. I won’t leave you at the mercy of these bikers any longer. I don’t care who her father is. I know he’s twisted your mind and brainwashed you. I love you, I never stopped, and I will love your little girl just as much.”

“You can’t say this stuff to me, David. Do you honestly think Roman will just let me go?”

“Roman? Her father?” I nod with my lip nervously tucked between my teeth. “What’s he gonna do, Marley? He can’t force you to be with him.”

Kill you; that is what he will do.

“Please leave, David. Don’t do this to me, I just gave birth to my daughter, and I’ve already cheated on the man I owe everything to.”

“You don’t owe him anything!” He snaps, making me jump.

I know this is hard for David, but he has no idea how hard it is for me to be torn between the two men I love.

I sit up straighter and cross my legs, my arm still wrapped tightly around my daughter, while my other hand finds my face. “You have no idea, David,” I look up at him, now standing at the side of my bed. “I don’t want to hurt you; you’ve been hurt enough by me. But Roman is Romany’s father, and I owe it to her to try.”

“That’s the life you want for your little girl? You want her to know the hell you went through by going through it herself? And don’t tell me it will never happen because you and I both know she’ll never have a normal life growing up with those pigs!”

He’s right; she won’t have a normal life, but what the hell is normal anymore?

Fucke.d if I know.

“Please understand,”

“I will never understand this! I will not give up on you. Now that I know you’re alive and here with them, I won’t stop until you’re home with me where you belong. And if that biker scum thinks anything of you at all, he’ll see that I’m right and send you home to me.” With that, he storms out of the room, and all I can do is cry.

This should never have happened, but I don’t know how I will ever get over him.