Hound

18

I wake up to her. It's so odd, how stunning she is in every light. It should be illegal.

It's hard to imagine she's the famed Red Queen.

“I'll put your head on a spike,” She hissed.

No. I was wrong. Completely wrong.

“Send it to your mother and make her eat it.”

Um...ew. So much for breakfast.

I sigh, kissing her shoulder. She pushes my head away.

Well, that's rude.

“Hey! Give me attention,” I whisper.

She puts her finger on her lips. “Listen to me, I don't care if you're the President. Do you know what presidents are best at? Being assassianated?”

That's... that's actually true.

“Please," She scoffs. “Your ignorance just proves you're a politician. You've got three days. You do what I say, or I'll replace you with someone who will.”

She hangs up. I would pretend I'm sleeping, but...I can't.

“I guess you know I'm not just a police commissioner, don't you?”

I shrug. “You can be... anything you want. But, if you don't mind, can you sit on my face while you do it?”

I smirk. She brushes me off.

“I'm busy, right now Hound. I have to go.”

I sigh. I'm losing my edge.

Or she's getting tired of me. That's a problem. I have three cards to play.

Three. One is ultimate. I can't play that unless I have to.

But she's pretty determined. Oh well. If all else fails I could just...go as the colorless King and undermine her a bit.

“Are you coming back tonight?”

She shoots me a look. “What are you? My boyfriend?” I shrug. “It was question. Don't be so f*****g touchy.”

“Don't question me,” She responds snarkily.

“I wasn't questioning. I was asking a question. You know what, bye.”

“Don't bye me, mutt.” She hisses, getting in the shower. I scroll through my phone.

“I've told you not to call me that.”

She sighs, and I imagine her washing her hair. She's always so brutal with it, it's like she hates every strand of her hair.

Her phone rings.

“Speak.”

“You shouldn't use your phone in the shower!" I call.

“It's f*****g waterproof. Myob!”

Myob? What is she twelve?

“What do you mean! Oh my God! You know what, that's it! I've lost hope in the human race. You're literally a bunch of mistakes."

I squint. “You're human?”

“You're in my conversation! Butt out!"

Again. Touchy.

“Whatever you want something done right—kill them yourself."

“That's a nice line!" I shout.

“Shut up, mutt!"

“No my dog can't talk you i***t!”

“Don't you dare! I'm f*****g adorable and anyone who doesn't agree can kill themselves!"

“You tell 'em, baby!”

“Don't call me baby, mutt!"

“Not you!"