Long distance episode 1

Long distance episode 8

I shut my eyes tightly. It hurt so much to hear him speak like that. Jeremy had been my first love back in high school, my first hangover... My first everything. But we didn't want the same things. He wanted to settle down; I wasn't ready. I couldn't just marry the first guy who ever touched me in a certain way; that was bound to come bite me in the ass. I had to see the world, experience new things, and people. He had to fill the void I had left when I'd broken up with him. And our friend Lilah had to be a f*****g adult and realize it wouldn't last forever with him, especially after I came back from my travels. What a mess, indeed.

I laughed ruefully. "It's funny, you know? I thought these people were my friends... and the one person to come to check on me is the one I hurt the most."

"I'm not mad at you, Liz."

I looked at him again. "What?"

"I can't be mad at you for not wanting the same things I do, can I?"

"Well, if they can..."

"No..." He shook his head, looking away. "I'm not mad. I'm just... sad."

There. Another stab to the heart. "I never meant to hurt you."

"I know that. That's why I'm not mad. If they can't see that, I guess I'm the bigger person."

"You're the best person I've ever met."

His eyes darted back to me, looking bleary. "Don't do that. Seriously."

I felt my own eyes start to water and thanked God for the insistent drizzle.

"I hurt you too." He got up. "Let's call it even."

He turned to leave, but I grabbed his wrist. I could swear I had seen a tear before he slipped from me and darted toward the beach motel. I shot up and went after him, but, in my haste, I slipped and fell with a screech. Jeremy looked back and, like the gentleman I knew he was, came running to my aid.

He helped me get up, throwing an arm around my waist. "Are you okay?"

"Yes." I tried to walk, but the minute my foot touched the ground, the burning pain made me wail. "Aw! No, no."

"Okay..." He leaned in an angle and scooped my legs up. Before I knew it, he was carrying me up the steps that led to my suite, bridal style.

How ironical.

I switched the key, and he kicked the door open, laying me gently on the bed. "Will you be okay to ride tomorrow?"

"I'm not sure... Maybe."

"I can do it if you want to... If you don't mind sitting behind me."

"I taught you well... I trust you with my bike."

He regarded me in silence, swallowing hard, then sat by my side. "Let me check this ankle."

He patted his lap, and I put my foot over it. He started to press with his thumb until I groaned. He then stopped, felt the spot with his fingers, and told me to move my foot around. When I did, he said, "It's not broken. Some ice and anti-inflammatory might just be enough."

"Thank you... How do you know so much about this?"

"I learned in the army... I served two years after high school."

Two years... and I wasn't around to know that.

I looked down, and he was still holding my foot, his touch impossibly warm after we had just been in the cold rain. He'd always been warm.

"I'm sorry they left you behind," he said.

"Not talking to those bitches anymore..."

"They're just sore about Lilah."

"What about the guys? Is that why they're giving me the cold shoulder too?"

"It's more of a sense of loyalty to them..." He started to massage my foot, careful not to hurt the sprained ankle. "I told them not to do this, just so you know."

"I guess there really is no place for me in this group anymore."

"Why did you come if you feel like that?"

"Honestly, I have no idea... I guess I didn't want to accept that I have no friends anymore."

"Don't say that. We're still your friends."

" You are?"

"Of course... Like I said, I might be upset about what went down, but I can't be mad at you."

He pressed a particular spot in my midfoot that felt like heaven, making me moan. We both stiffened up. He stretched his fingers, letting me go. His eyes danced back and forth until they came up to me. I was burning inside. For the last three years and a half, all I could think about was him, his lips, hands, and... I needed him. It was becoming unbearable.

I shifted closer to him; his hand ended up over my thigh. His bottom lip disappeared inside his mouth as he sighed. I took a chance and closed the distance, holding his face in both hands. When our lips got reunited, my heart jumped inside my chest. I felt him respond, run his tongue over my lip, and the realization that he still wanted me too settled in my brain. Then he came to his senses and snapped his hands to my wrists, pulling away. He frowned at me, chest heaving, and I fell from the clouds. It hurt more than I had expected, to feel unwanted.

Jeremy stared at me as if the gears in his head were turning at rocket speed. He clashed his lips against mine again, catching me off-guard. I recovered, deepening the kiss and holding him tighter just in case. His tongue came inside my mouth, stroking mine. I thought my heart would explode and a tear run down my cheek. My hands explored the muscles of his torso, checking the slight differences and relishing the familiarities.

I couldn't believe we were doing this again. As he kissed me and touched me in that well-known way of his, grabbing and squeezing, I was flooded with raw emotion which I couldn't even start to explain. There was joy, fulfillment, and a sense of nostalgia. There was also a hunger for him that had never wavered, not even when I left him, not for a second as I ventured the world so far from him.

Jeremy shifted his body and hovered over me. My back touched the mattress, sinking in its cloud-like softness. He moved to kiss my neck with the tenderness of a long-lost love, and I raked my nails over his lean back. He took every layer of clothing from me with his eyes locked on mine. His look was one of affection, and I wondered if I deserved it.

Soon we were naked and connected like we should never have ceased to be. I moaned as his hips rocked against mine. His breath fanned against my damp skin, and we tangled ourselves in the sheets, rolling around, kissing, and caressing each other. His heady, evocative scent invaded my nostrils, bringing me back to our happy moments, those in which I gasped and cried out, just like I was doing now. I called his name over and over just to make sure that he was real as our hearts beat together. Goosebumps came up in my arms and back when he pulled me up to sit astride him. Our tongues played together in the midst of our passion, bodies twisting and contorting restlessly as the heat inside became unbearable and impossible to contain.

"Jeremy!" I cried one last time; the most beautiful word made by men. My body stilled; his kept moving under me. He held me tight against himself, gradually speeding up until his seed spurt inside me, a note of his beautiful voice filling the room. We caught our breaths together, expanding and contracting in an endless loop of post-coital peace. I laughed under my breath, and he did the same. Our eyes met. There were no regrets as the world felt right again. I touched his forehead with mine, eyes closing to try and freeze time, to make that moment last forever.