Death was my new beginning

Fragments

He stood by the door, looking a bit nervous. He cleared his throat and walked towards me, but he remained silent. He would look at me and then quickly move his gaze somewhere else.

Am I supposed to say something? He's the one that came in without greeting me.

"Hello," I said; he looked surprised. Does Mina not start conversations with him?

He cleared his throat and asked, "How are you feeling?" I wanted to roll my eyes. He could at least say hello. But I have to say, this was unlike his character. The conversations Mina had with her family always seemed distant and indifferent.

"I'm feeling much better. Thank you for asking, father," I said. For a split second, he seemed surprised again. Was he surprised that I said thank you? Or was he surprised that I called him father? Now that I think about it, the Mina in the book always referred to him as Count. I don't remember her ever calling him father. Maybe this is him being happy.

His serious expression quickly came back, and there was silence. I didn't want him to leave since the two of us were alone, which seemed like a good opportunity for me to try to get on his good side. Since I am supposed to have amnesia, I don't think he'll get angry if I am a bit forward with him, so I decided to tell him about my concerns about our relationship.

"I'm sorry, would you prefer that I call you, Count?" I asked him.

He looked at me, confused, and asked, "Why would you ask that?" he answered with a question.

"I learned that I am an illegitimate child and am not welcome in this house. Maybe you don't want me to call you father and prefer I call you by your title" the Count seemed to get angry by my answer.

"Who told you that?!" he yelled, "Who told you that you are not welcome here?" his yelling surprised me. He never yelled at Mina in the books, but he also never cared about what she said or what she did. He was always so serious.

I quickly answered, "Those three maids."

His left eye started to twitch. He looked away, covering half of his face with his hand. I could hear him muttering to himself, but the only thing I could make out were the words "those…too good for them…"

I could tell he was talking to himself about those maids. He looked at me and said, "You don't have to worry about them anymore. The investigation led to those three and a few others, so they were all dealt with accordingly."

I was surprised. I knew people here were mistreating me but knowing that they were dealt with made me quite happy, though that "dealt with accordingly" sounded quite ominous, as being fired wasn't the only thing that was done to them.

"Well, anyways…" he cleared his throat. "You…you can call me that."

What does he mean by 'that?' Does he mean father? Girls tend to call their fathers' dad' or 'daddy.' Should I try it and see how he reacts?

"Dad?" I changed what to call him. He crinkled his eyebrows. That wasn't the type of expression I was expecting. Should I go with, "Daddy?" I asked. He widened his eyes, "Daddy!" I said with a smile. He looked surprised and quickly looked away, covering his mouth. Did he not like it? I thought he did.

"I guess I'll stay with father," I said. He looked back at me with a fierce expression.

"The last one!" he said quickly. He noticed how he lost his composure, so he cleared his throat and said, "Stay with the last one."

"Daddy?" I asked.

"Yes," he cleared his throat, "You are only allowed to call me that from now on."

I wanted to chuckle at his rule. Looking at him more closely, I noticed how his ears were bright red. I started to wonder if maybe he didn't talk to Mina a lot because he was worried about messing up, and he actually wanted to bond with her.

"Have you come here for anything else?" I asked him.

"Yes, that's right. New maids will be appointed to you soon. Until then, I decided for the maids to take turns serving you."

Does he mean to say that he doesn't want to leave me alone with one single maid in case what happened to me happens again? Is he worried about me? This is kind of unbelievable; he's been acting completely different from the Count in the book. I really like this version of him.

I want to thank him but thinking about it. Just because he got rid of the people that hurt me doesn't mean the rest of the staff here likes me. Although the maids have been acting respectfully, how long will their respectful attitudes last? Once three of them are appointed to me, they might act like the other three that the Count dealt with.

"Daddy, I don't need a lot of maids. I think one is enough," I said.

"Are you sure?" he asked. I nodded. He didn't put any 'buts,' he just nodded and said, "Okay."

I already had an idea on who to pick, "I'd like Lillian to attend to me."

"Lillian? She is a recent hire, a novice. Wouldn't someone with more experience be better qualified?"

I answered him honestly, "Daddy, you've noticed too, right? How the staff here don't treat me as well as they treat you or my brothers" The Count remained silent as he lowered his gaze.

So, he knew, yet he did nothing about it. Does that mean that he would have remained quiet if he hadn't found out I had been physically abused? Although Mina had suffered physically, she was also hurt mentally. Being cursed at and humiliated regularly…those things can leave far deeper scars than any physical wound could. It made me think of the part in the book when Mina is publically executed. The Count and her brothers weren't even there. The book described her death quite vividly, how painful it was, and how alone she felt. Even though she knew her family hated her, she at least wanted to see their faces one last time. That scene made me pity her even though she was a massive pain in the ass throughout the novel series.

Ugh, now that I'm her, I pity her even more.

As I look at the Count, I don't know what to think. If he's the same Count from the book, then this change in attitude towards Mina could just be temporary, and if it is, I gotta make the best of the changed Count in front of me and, in the process, get him to like me.

"Even though I don't remember what has happened in the past. Lillian's the only maid that got on her knees and apologized to me. Her actions made me wonder how many horrible experiences I must have gone through in this house to receive such an apology. Although I felt awkward, I felt like a burden had been lifted from my shoulders, as if that were something I have always wanted to hear."

When I said that, the Count seemed to feel ashamed of himself. I wanted to gain sympathy, but if shame is what's making him reflect on how badly he's treated Mina so far, then he can go ahead and feel all the guilt he wants.

"I'll appoint her your attendant first thing tomorrow morning," father told me.

I got up from the bed and hugged him. With a smile, I told him, "Thank you, daddy," the way he looked at me showed that Mina had never thanked him, let alone hugged him, which made me wonder if the problem with her family was all a misunderstanding. Maybe the Count and her brothers wanted to get along with her but didn't know how to approach her, and she waited for them to get close, never once thinking about approaching them first. Anyways, that still doesn't excuse that they were mean to her and let her be publicly executed.

Father headed towards the door when he stopped and asked me, "Would you like to take a walk around the garden with me?" I was surprised by this. It was already dark out, but he was inviting me to a nighttime stroll. "Um, no, nevermind, you need to rest; you must still be overwhelmed about this whole situation, so…"

Before he could continue, I quickly said, "Yes!"

"Yes?" father repeated, questioningly.

"Yes. I would love to go out to the garden with you," I said. I've been incredibly bored, and I have been dying to know what the outside looks like. But it seems that the Count thought that I, rather than go outside, wanted to spend more time with him. Well, whatever, as long as I can go out, I don't care what he thinks.

He moved his arm towards me, and I wrapped my arm around his. It was a bit embarrassing; like a 21st century woman, this doesn't happen often, and this silent gesture the Count did, made me smile.

Outside the room, I saw a long hallway with big windows to my left where I could see the outside. There were many trees and beautiful flowers. Farther down, I could see a gate, and even farther, I could see roofs. Maybe that's the town where Mina went before, she was almost killed. To my right, there were elegant paintings, as well as statues and accent tables. The walls were white with golden accents, and the floor was carpeted a light beige color.

"You really have lost your memory," the Count whispered. I looked up at him, and his serious expression had changed to one of worry. Though it was only for a brief moment.

Was he actually missing the old Mina?

We continued walking, and as we passed some of the house staff, they all looked surprised. I'm sure it's because the Mina they know hardly talked to the Count, let alone walked beside him, hand in hand.

As we made our way outside, I was surprised y how big and elegant this mansion was. We headed to the back of the house and arrived at a garden. There were so many flowers, but I couldn't see any that I could recognize. This was indeed another world. I took a few steps closer to the garden, and suddenly a ton of fireflies came out of bushes and lit up the garden.

"Wow," I said.

"This is your garden," father told me. I looked at him, confused. The garden is in this house, so it belongs to the family, not to a person. "You've always loved flowers, so a few years back, I hired people to make a garden for you." That's actually kind of sweet. In my previous life, I also loved flowers. I guess that's one thing Mina and I have in common.

I walked along the garden, thinking I'd have to learn about flowers all over again until little white dots caught my attention. I hurried towards it and realized they were, "Lilly of the Valleys," father said. "These were your favorite. They looked so small and insignificant compared to the others, so when I asked you why you liked them, you said…"

"They look like baby octopuses," I said. I looked over at father; he looked at me, surprised, and nodded.

"Yes, that's what you said! Do you remember now?" he said excitedly. I was surprised by this. I thought I was the only person that thought they looked like baby octopuses; now it turns out that Mina thought that too? Weird, now she and I have two things in common.

"Not really. They just looked like octopuses to me," I said.

Father seemed saddened by my answer, but he continued speaking, "Most people would say they look like wedding bells, yet you said such a silly thing. It was quite comical. You got sad thinking that I was laughing at you and ran off to your room."

I can't imagine the Count laughing, but the things I've seen so far were never mentioned in the book. The Count never laughed, and there was never any mention of him having made a garden, especially for Mina, or that she loved flowers and thought Lilly of the Valley's looked like baby octopuses.

Writing those things down would have at least given Mina's character more depth. A little can go a long way.

"I'm glad," he said. I remained silent. What was he glad about? "Even though you've forgotten everything, it's comforting to know that there are fragments of the old Mina in you. It feels like you're not entirely gone."

What he said made me think that the Count actually cared about Mina. If he cares about her so much, why would the book say otherwise? Although a bit conflicted about how to feel, I did have a sense of hope that maybe if things end up going wrong and I have to be executed, this time around, he'd be there to save Mina.

"What are you doing here?"