“Are you kidding? I think we’re adorable. Mental illnesses, psychic scars, emotional wounds, massive dysfunctions, and all.”
He pretends to look insulted. “Excuse me, but I don’t have any mental illnesses.”
“Really? Because I could name about five that you’re suffering from right off the top of my head.”
“Yeah, right,” he scoffs. “You couldn’t even name one.”
I start to clinically tick them off my fingers. “Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Whatever the opposite of Body Dysmorphic Disorder is. Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder—”
“Like you’re complaining.”
“—and, worst of all, Cargo Shorts Attachment Disorder, which is unfortunately quite common in males of your age who’ve served in the military and were never properly taught how to dress in anything other than camouflage littered
