NALLA,HIS LITTLE GIRL

MY FATHER

I thought I heard "a horse in love" when he closed the door. I sat at the bar thinking about the next day and the move. Today I was burned with the desire to kiss her. I'm burning with the urge to put her to bed, but we'll wait for that. I wanted to hear her voice. Horse! I forgot to ask for the number. You i***t! I sat alone for a long time, until the doorbell rang from my thoughts. Through the peephole I saw Dad walking impatiently down the hall. I already know he's nervous. Something tells me that Vlad has already called him. Asshole!

 "You're going to tear that carpet, old man," I said as I opened the door. "Tell your only child where the problem is."

 "I rang three times," he said in that flat voice he rarely used.

"I'm sorry, there's something on my mind, so I'm a little upset."

 We entered the living room where he had his favorite place. He sat down and coughed a little, a clear sign that he was waiting for coffee and an explanation. Now I'm sure he got that call. I brought us coffee. I haven't offered it with alcohol for a long time, although some booze would come in handy. However, all feelings should be expressed in front of the old man. He looked me in the eye the whole time. Drill me through my pupils to my cerebellum. This will be a police interrogation. 

"Are you clean?" He asked.

"Yes. Why?"

 "Because Vladimir told me you were planning to stay. What's going on, Victor? ”

 "Nothing, man. Nothing happens."

 "Then what's the matter with the staying?"

 "Dad, all I need is here. I can no longer live on two ends of the world, two different lives. ”I sighed and decided to put everything in front of my father. "Her name is Nalla. It sounds silly, but I really decided to stay here because of her. "

 "Seriously?" The old man laughed. "You're staying because of the girl?"  

"And because of you, but yes, I'm staying because of her." I thought for a moment before continuing. "I know that you sent me there to be closer to Vera, somehow I immediately understood it as a simple paternal wish. But, I see her once in two months, if she happens to have an hour off. She has a new life, and you and I are not part of it. " 

"You have definitely decided."

 "And now there's little Nalla. I can't leave knowing she's here. Before you start teasing, it's true that I fell in love. "  

"Thank God! Spit out everything you have so we can see what we're up to. "He laughed.

 "For a start, I'll wait. She is a minor, more precisely under sixteen. We started seeing each other a few days ago. "I lied and I didn't even blink. "You have to meet that creature. Young, but she's so bright, smart ... and f*****g strong. "

 "Son, I thought you were done with legal problems. But okay. Let's take a look at the situation. "He took a sip of coffee and settled down more comfortably, as if he was waiting for some sign of an argument all the time. "How old is he officially?"  

"She's almost 17."

"Serious s**t," he said and scratched his eyebrow, which immediately told me that there could still be an argument. "It's a child. And in that situation, you're f****d in every way you turn. You have to think very well, because before sixteen you almost can't even look at her without her parents' permission. "

 "Easy, man, we're not there yet."

 "And you're really going to wait two or three months? I mean, I know that the practice has changed since I was your age ... "

 "I will wait for her. As long as it takes. And that's why I don't want to go back there. "

 "I understand. However, you will have to leave for a short time. Vera will not take care of your paperwork."

 "I know. I will have to leave, but I will return and stay here. "

 "Didn't it occur to you what you miss if you come back? What are you both missing. She is young, if she is attached to you now, she will lose part of her youth. You will lose some other opportunities in life. "  

"I thought about it. I'll talk to her. She is mature and reasonable. "

 "I'm glad you feel it. I just don't want you to be pist  of each other later ... "  

"Like you and Vera?" I interrupted him when I saw that sad look. "We will not. We will be like you and mom. ”I said, referring to the woman who raised me as her child. "I hope we'll be like you and Mom."

 "I hope too. It's nice to find someone who wins you over right away. And it's even better when you understand and support each other. "He smiled. "And I'm glad you told me everything."

 "Me too..."  

Unlike our other conversations, this one was constructive and enjoyable. I would even say that I spent a nice afternoon with my father. We often argue, true. But that day did not begin with topics that tore us apart.  

I'll skip talking to him just to explain what brought us to the blood. Literally, to the point of blood. In fact, he sent me to Britain for several reasons. In principle, my mother was just the beginning of a not so beautiful end. I'm a drug addict. Healed but not completely cured. When I say that sentence, I think how much I have failed in my life. "Heavy" drugs for good morning were my daily routine. He sent there a good student addicted to soft drugs, and I came back. Intravenous addict. Okay, I finished college and found a job. If I had been a little smarter, I could have trampled the whole world then. I could ... but still the world trampled on me. I will hardly ever understand Dad. I hope I never find out what it feels like to find a child in bed stuffed in the morning, lost in limbo.  

Anyway, what was coming from London was not me. I was not the son he loved. And now... I suggested to the old man that we go to dinner. There was a good restaurant nearby. Good place to continue the conversation. I told him about Nalla.I wanted to get back on track, hoping she would be on it too. Jesus, I'm not normal ... Darkness descended before we could say goodbye. I don’t like when he drives at night, I know he has poor night vision. Fortunately, the restaurant is close to both my and their apartment. I won't worry much. We parted, after many years, with a hug. I was exhausted. I planned to go out with friends that evening, but after a whole day of chasing, I didn't have any more strength. I collapsed on the bed half-dead, unable to go to take a shower.