TransParent

TransParent

-For every version of me that made this one possible—I see you.-

~Isaiah~

Table Of Contents

Defined & Defining

Motherhood

A Mother’s Shield

Where My Truths Meet

Who You Are & What You Aren’t

Definition

Child Of My Choosing

Kingdoms Rise. Empires Fall.

Experiences In Being

Leaving The Closet

Outrospection

Everyone's Puzzle

Broken Mind, Fixed Soul

Evolution Isn't Self-Adapted

Meeting The Poet

Defined & Defining

I am Fear’s permanent residence, as well as a mother.

Fear crafts a door from my most delicate features,

one only she can use.

Despite this, I remain as strong as the hour allows,

and just as fragile as any mother would be.

What else is a mother to be

if not strong and fragile?

I have birthed a star onto this planet,

and I fear its light will die

before we all see it shine.

-Motherhood-

~Isaiah~

Child, consider yourself safe—

but keep your guard up.

Protection goes far,

but it is never permanent.

-A Mother’s Shield-

~Isaiah~

You can’t outrun yourself—

truth will always find you.

And when it does,

you either accept and conquer,

or deny and be consumed.

I am transgender.

I am a parent.

My identities hold hands

through trials and tribulations.

I am not one without the other.

-Where My Truths Meet-

~Isaiah~

Child,

there’s a great likelihood

my identity will impact your life

in ways you’ll have no control over,

because of the blood that binds us.

I didn't plan for this outcome, however,

please remember in those moments

that your identity isn't defined by your mother's actions—

and you owe no one an explanation,

least of all those who understand with blissful ignorance.

Most will call me

a “freak of nature,”

but you will still call me

“Mother,”

and that is the only label

I truly need.

-Who You Are & What You Aren’t-

~Isaiah~

I was your age when I grew into myself—

when I grew into my body,

my name,

and all that defines me.

I am who defines me,

and you can’t take my definition away,

even if you tried.

-Definition-

~Isaiah~

Child,

I don’t know what the future holds,

but despite everything

that has happened in my past,

I will always choose you

to be my present.

-Child Of My Choosing-

~Isaiah~

I didn’t understand it then,

but I had to be sad in order to be happy—

you can’t find relief without pain.

Compared to today,

more pain festered inside me then.

Then,

you could call me dead inside.

Today,

you can call me living.

I have built myself

a palace out of pain.

The day I began ruling my kingdom,

was the day my social empire shrank.

That day,

I learned

who was attempting to rule me,

and who was rooting for me

to rule myself.

-Kingdoms Rise. Empires Fall. -

~Isaiah~

Experiences In Being

Silence can save a life and kill one too.

Knowing this, I still choose to speak the same way a k******e soldier chooses to fight to its death.

Outing myself is the equivalent of handing out lit sparklers like dynamite and hoping they aren’t thrown back at me.

-Leaving The Closet-

~Isaiah~

Outrospection

I be a mother

A son

A sister

A niece

A guy friend

A boyfriend called Wifey.

I be a queer dream,

A straight nightmare.

I be myself.

You be happy

Or angry,

Confused

Or understanding.

I be a puzzle

Everyone is still trying to figure out.

-Everyone’s Puzzle-

~Isaiah~

We'll call her Miss Universe —

the one who sculpted me,

carving me into a full-figured woman

with a man's mind.

She painted me royal

due to my existence being majestic.

I am ill-fit to be boxed in —

you can’t box in what doesn’t fit.

She made sure I was anything but ordinary,

putting in the work to make me extra.

Folks be mad because I am more than enough

and they’re barely enough.

Jealousy disguises its hurt with hate,

and they call me broken…

-Broken Mind, Fixed Soul-

~Isaiah~

Evolution isn't self-adapted.

It is intuitive.

Knowing you aren't —

nor have you ever been —

what was wanted.

You became

what is needed.

Breaking externally so everyone understands,

when glancing at your internal "organs,"

how much pressure you take in

to become the diamond you are.

Others would have been crushed

under the pressure you take in —

and if you were too,

where would the lesson in that be?

You are the teacher;

those around you are your students.

You offer yourself onto the table

to be dissected & studied.

They learn what it means

to be vulnerable & human.

-Evolution Isn't Self-Adapted.-

~Isaiah~

Meeting The Poet

Isaiah is an FTM (female-to-male) mother and activist who advocates for minority groups through poetry, sharing his experiences and perspectives with honesty and passion.