Forgive Me My Lord

Chapter 6 (Part One): Nanimi's POV

Chapter 6 ( Part one)

Nanimi’s POV

!!!!!!(WARNING: ADULT CONTENT)!!!!!!

With all of lord Yato’s questions it was nearly impossible to answer and explain them all, it would take all night. I decided the best thing to do was to show him, granted my brother had forbidden me from going near lord Yato. His excuse was that he didn’t want me to get in his way, but I know it was because he didn’t want me to catch feelings for anyone but him. Usuei has never approved of me doing anything that isn’t lady like, almost all my life I was being told that I’d marry my brother and keep our bloodline pure but marrying him is the last thing I want to do. When I was younger, I was okay with it because I did love my brother, but I loved him only as a brother and nothing more, but as the years went by I started to noticed he didn’t love me as a sister he loved me as a woman and nothing less. He saw me as his possession like I belonged to him, every time I would ask him if I could train with him, he would tell me the same thing. “You are to be my wife, there is no need for you to know combat skills. All you need to worry about is waking up in the morning and I shall do the rest” .And believe it or not he said that to me when I was 80 and he was only 100, in human years that’s like a 10 year old talking about marrying an 8 year old, my mother and father were bond to the thought of keeping or bloodline strong, they never asked how I felt, and I never told them because I thought I’d be selfish for not wanting to marry someone for any other reason than being in love.

Because I was a stubborn child and I was fascinated with fighting, not because of the violence but because of why we do it, to protect the people we cherish and the realm we love. I wanted to help in every possible way that I could, so I trained in secret. I’d watch my brother train and remember all the moves than practice on my own. I got caught once by one of my brothers trainers but thankfully he didn’t tell anyone, he helped me, after training with my brother he’d train with me but because we can’t do it as long as he does with Usuei in risk of getting caught it’d be a more intense practice. After years of doing this I gained the courage to challenge Usuei in combat with our abilities. I was born with fire magic but Usuei born with shadow magic, it’s not favorable but it is strong and rare a sign of great potential, but I wanted to prove myself not only to him but to everyone else, I wasn’t just a noble, I could be more, I could be useful.

When I challenge him during his practice all his trainers looked between us in worry, Usuei tried ignoring me and walked away from me only saying “ I will not fight a defenseless girl non the less my future bride, I will pretend you never asked to spare you from embarrassment, please go back to whatever you were doing before or just sit there and watch the men train” I was furious by his arrogance and without hesitation or thought I used that emotion and threw a Smaller Fire bolt at his arm not big or hot enough to harm him but enough to get my point across and to capture his attention. When it slammed into the back of his shoulder, he stumbled forward grabbing his arm trying to steady is balance, he stood there for a moment with no sign of movement not even a slight sound came from him until he turned to face me. I see a mixture of anger and shock in his eyes, around this time he was 18 and I was only 16 but the way he looked at me would have scared a full-grown man. My breath was caught in my throat, but I stood my ground and glared back at him “do you accept my challenge now?” I spat at him.

He continues his glare while walking towards me but there was no sign of him getting ready to use magic so I rooted my feet still thinking he was just trying to intimidate me, but when I was in his reach he grabbed my arm and forcefully pulled me to follow him, I almost tripped over my feet several times trying to keep up with him. When we reached his destination, he opened the door to his room and pulled me in with him slamming the door behind me. I was able to pull from his grip but before I could question him, I felt a growing pain on my back and cheek. He had violently threw me against the back of the door and slapped me across the face, I was dumbfounded and was unable to move from my shock as I just stood the staring at him while holding the burning red spot on my face. He dragged me all the way here just to slap me. I was angry but I was also scared and upset, he has never raised a hand to me before, he’s always said how fragile and delicate I was, where did all of that suddenly go? He stood there only two feet away from me with his fists clenched with his eyes closed looking as if he were trying to calm himself down. He opened his eyes and took a step towards me but my fear took over and I tried to leave but when I opened the door it only opened up three inches before he slammed it shut and locking it and slamming his hands on the door on each side of me. I tried not showing how scared I was but I couldn’t help but yelp, he’s never acted like this with me before, my heart was pounding in my chest and each breath I took got shallower and shallower, I felt as if I were going to suffocate. I couldn’t open my eyes I was too scared, and I didn’t want to look at him, I could understand him being a little mad, but this was ridiculous.

I could feel his breath by how close he was, I didn’t know what to do I’ve never dealt with something like this before, especially not with Usuei, I wanted him to stop treating me like a frail child and more like and equal attribute, I just wanted him to respect me but I didn’t think this would all be going so wrong, I started getting angry with myself and with him, if he only treated me like a damn person this wouldn’t be happening. Against my better judgement I decided to try pushing him away but my efforts were in vain, as soon as I started pushing him away he grabbed my wrists and pinned them roughly against the wall, I gasped in pain and tried breaking free but everything I did made things worse. I tried kneeing him in the stomach, but he took advantage and pressed his knee between my legs hitting the wall behind me. I struggled against his strength until I tired myself out, breathlessly I stood there in defeat with anger and confusion plastered on my face.

“Are you admitting defeat already Nanimi, If I remember correctly – you challenged me”, he whispered in my ear with a dominant tone that sent a shiver down my spine. I was so angry, I didn’t know what to say or do, what they hell is wrong with him! I challenged him in combat not whatever this is, I was pulled from my thoughts when I felt Usuei let go of my right arm and I was waiting for him to completely back off, but he had other plans that I was nowhere near ready of prepared for. He brushed his fingertips against my bottom lip and when I tried pulling my face away from him, he grabbed my chin roughly to face him as he slowly hovered over my lip only centimeters away. I grabbed his wrist with my free arm trying to pull him off, but he showed no sign of budging. I felt a warm unfamiliar sensation forced against my lips, frozen with shock I didn’t move, but I felt his hand move from my chin as he gently wrapped it around my neck putting as little force as he was able, I don’t know how but I could tell he wanted to do it harder as he pressed more into my lips. He has never done this before I don’t understand why he would start now; he parted his lips from mine for only a moment because without realizing it we were both holding our breath.

Once he caught his breath without hesitation, he roughly slammed his lips into mine again, over, and over for what seemed like forever. I felt his grip on my neck continuously get tighter until it was hard to breath, with all the strength I had left I used my free hand to slam into his shoulder, thankfully this time was successful even though it was only because he was off guard, he stumbled back about 4 steps and due to my shaking knees I fell to the floor from loss of his support keeping me up. He held his shoulder and looked at me annoyed, but I was too busy trying to catch my breath to give a damn, when I fell to my knees I instantly wrapped my hands around the sore area of my neck gasping for air. When I was able to calm down my breathing, I looked up at him just to see him reaching for me, my eyes went big and I jerked myself back without thinking and my back met the hard wall. Unable to move I watched him with pleading eyes hoping he would just let me go, I prayed to the moon goddess to save me but my prayers went unheard, as Usuei yanked me up by my arm, he dragged and pulled me to his bed throwing me on the edge of it like a dirty T-shirt. My legs hung off the side of the mattress and when I tried to get up, I was pushed down by Usuei as he put one arm around my waist and with the other he forced my legs open pulling himself in the gap. I couldn’t help but gasp by the sudden pressure, with one hand I pushed his shoulder putting space between our chests and the other I slapped him across the face instantly wishing I didn’t. He pinned one of my arms down while grabbing my neck with his other hand a lot harder than before, with my free hand I tried pushing him off unable to move at all, I felt his hand from my neck quickly move to gripping and pulling my hair exposing my neck completely. In that instant I felt a warm pain on the side of my neck as he continuously started to bite and suck on my neck, I couldn’t help but moan and I hated myself for letting it slip out but I’ve never felt something like this before, I gripped his shirt trying to pull him off but I was too weak but my body couldn’t withstand this type of physical contact much longer so I bit his shoulder as hard as I could until he jerked my hair back harder forcing me to stop with a loud grunt. I looked at him in shock and pain but all he did was give me a seductive grin, his eyes were filled with hunger and desire, it infuriated me how much he was enjoying this. I felt him tuck a little more on my hair once again exposing my neck now with bruises and bite marks, I gripped his shirt with my eyes closed tightly preparing myself for the pleading pain once more but it never happened but I felt a shiver down my spine and a breathless gasp escaped my lips when I felt his tongue press against my burning chest up my neck to my ear.

I hate the idea of him thinking I liked it but I couldn’t help my self I’ve never been touched in such ways, if a guard so much as looked at me in a lustful way Usuei would beat them to a pulp. As he continued to torcher me I tried containing the way my body was feeling but it was so difficult, I felt the heat come off him which made it even harder to cool down and when I remembered his torso was between my legs I panicked and tried worming away from him so I could close them but I made it too obvious and he pulled me closer to him and slammed himself against my inner thighs as he grunted, I refused to let out a sound so I bit my bottom lip so hard I thought I’d bleed, he didn’t like what I was doing though so without hesitation he grabbed my waist with both hands a roughly pulled me closer to his waisted over and over, I felt so ashamed from letting out my gasps and moans but after so many times I couldn’t contain them all and I felt my panties were moist and I hated myself for it, my body enjoyed the attention he gave it but I was utterly embarrassed.

I begged him over and over to stop but I was so breathless it came out more as gasps, he gripped my legs tight around his waist and pressed his lips against mine as he grinded into me, I was so thankful he was still wearing pants or I don’t know what would have happened. Yet at that moment I felt my fears becoming as a reality as he tried pulling my leggings down my hips exposing my panties, but I kept pulling his arms up hoping he’d stop. As I begged him to stop and felt more pain as he bites into the marks he’s already made on my neck, I yelped in pain as tears fled from my eyes and I kept trying to push him off when he covered my mouth keeping me silent.

I tried everything I could to try getting him off, my squirming and grunts were all that filled the room besides the sound of Usuei trying to straddle me. As I felt fresh hot tears fall from my eyes the gods heard my prayers, as they sent a saint to my rescue, the room was filled with the voice of the solder that helped train me, “young master are you in there? The other men and I got worried when you and lady Nanimi didn’t return – young master is lady Nanimi in there with you – is she okay?”, his voice pleaded as if he knew we were in the room and what was happening to me.

“Yes we’re fine!”, Usuei barked at the door fuming with anger for being interrupted, he took a deep breath to lower his tone, “Everything is alright we were just having a discussion, you and the others need not to worry. I was just reminding Nanimi of her duties, I’ll be out in just a moment – meet me back in the yard.”, Usuei said in a calmer but irritated voice. He looked straight into my eyes and pulled away from me slowly and in an instant the only source of light poring from the shaded window blinded me as it reveal my bruised body from his forceful pursuits and my bloodshot eyes, tearstained face from crying. I hugged my knees against my chest trying to feel less exposed and shielded my face feeling like a disgrace unable to stop the overflowing emotions and tears that wouldn’t stop falling down my face. When I looked at Usuei from the corner of my eye his figure was blurry through the tears, but I could tell his expression wasn’t what I expected. I felt if I looked over at him all I would see is a cold, heartless, possessive jerk but the look on his face was completely different than I expected. His eyes were filled with regret as he looked at the marks he made, some worse than others, when he met my glossy tear ridden eyes it was as if I could see his heart shatter, I couldn’t continue looking at him though all I felt was physical and emotional pain, my body hurt but my heart hurt more, I gripped my knees tighter as I placed my burning face against them.

He stood there not knowing what to do, but when I sensed him step towards me I couldn’t help but jerk away and stare at him, I felt my body tremble but I could see how much it hurt him to see me react this way, but I was too scared of him at that moment I couldn’t control my actions.

Usuei stepped closer to me slower with a solemn and pained look plastered on his face, as he reached his hand lowly to me, in an instant I moved back further on the bed trying to put as much distance as I could between us, “Nanimi please, I’m not going to hurt you, please just let me explain, I didn’t mean to hurt –“, while he spoke he kept trying to move closer to me but then he quickly went around the bed trying to stop me from getting away from him, but my senses were on high alert to his every sudden move so I was able to pull my self to the edge of the other side of the bed out of his reach, when I seen him look at the bed I could tell he was thinking about throwing himself onto it to get to me faster than if he went around, but I didn’t give him the chance to get me that easily as I leaped from the edge and darted to the locked door with him on my tail begging me to stop running from him. I wanted to understand why he did what he did but I couldn’t at that moment, all I could think about was what would he do if he did catch me. With him only inches from grabbing me I made it out the door but didn’t stop there, I kept running because I was too scared to look behind me in the chance of seeing him right there. I remember I didn’t stop running until I made it to my room locking the door behind me, after that day I refused to be alone with Usuei until i felt I was strong enough to prevent that from ever happening again, I avoided him completely for almost two months until he chased me into a corner, he promised that he would never do that to me again and that he wants it to go back to where I’m not scared of him, but he also made me promise never disrespect him by openly challenging him again and I agreed. Within time things got somewhat back to normal between us but time also made his desire for me to grow sometimes I’d see him looking at me with those dark eyes and I know not to get too close to him when he’s like that , I’ve also learned not to yell at him when he’s like that either I learned that the hard way, we were in a heated disagreement because he wanted to punish a servant for flirting with me and me defending another man was never a wise decision because it would always sparked a flame with his jealousy, challenging his dominance over me was always the outcome either he’d lose control and black out depending on how angry he was he’d either pin me down with his hand gripping my throat seductively or he’d force me into his embrace as he left small hickeys on my neck as if marking his property, he’d leave several every time and always made sure to make it where they lasted a week to a few days at least.

It was like that until the day I left to find the resurrected demon lord, that evening I remembered walking by the conference room where the counsel had their important meetings, and whenever I heard them talking I would stop by the door to listen in on the conversation because they still never inform me about anything that’s going on. Around that time I was finally a master swords men- women whatever, I knew I could keep myself safe, I wasn’t just good with a sword but also hand to hand combat, using my ability, and I learned how to be stealthy. I was a walking threat and by that time I was finally 200 years old, but this still didn’t change how Usuei treated me, he still refused to train with me, and was still too protective of who was aloud near me or even aloud to talk to me. The counsel knew from the beginning of who we were and automatically gave us respect, but they too saw me as just a delicate and fragile woman. I was sick of it, so when I heard that Usuei was given the task to find the demo lord I took matters into my own hands and left that night without a word. I looked for the recantation of our lord and master, I’ve learned that every time he is reborn, he’s always a guy named Yato with black hair and bright blue eyes. I looked for him for almost 500 years, and if that were not aggerating enough my brother kept sending Fallen’s to come find me, I would try reasoning with them, but it never ended peacefully and always in blood shed.

I remember the first time they came after me. The rain had finally taken a rest as the clouds fell silent, the moon covered in a gray silhouette, the birds fell in a deep slumber as the remaining rain drop fell from the branches of trees and lingered on the tips of every shard of grass that grew from the flooded lawns. The night was so silent but the ringing in my ears were deafening. I shall never forget the night, because if I do, I will dishonor the lives I claimed and the souls I descended to an early grave. I heard them in the distance and tried to hide but they found me, the sound of their wings folding behind their backs and they stood in front of me unknowing they were to fail their given mission and never return to the families they promised to see again. My heart breaks for them, knowing their deaths were given no justice and my actions were given no punishment but their names burned in my mind and their blood soaked into my hands. I remember the 5 men that stood before me that dreadful night – Michael, Leon, Jackson, Dean, And Andrew, I knew all of them so I pleaded for them to return home and say they never saw me but, they refused, and I could not let them succeed their mission because that would mean I failed mine. I begged them to leave, to go back to their families, but they didn’t listen. Andrew and Jackson charged towards me, I tries to hold back but when I say they were about to grab me, something snapped in my mind and i reacted to their attacks. With one swing of my scythe Jackson laid lifeless on the ground at my feet, as Andrew and the others stood in their placed staring at the body than at me. All four charged at me at once, I released my inner demon and let my scythe use me as its puppet as it was my puppeteer. After maybe ten minutes I had five life less fallen lay before me, once I called them comrades, and now they lay soulless by my hand, as my scythe dipped with their essences. I watched as their bodies turned to ash and prayed that when their souls made it to the gates the moon goddess greeted them with open arms, and let them know how truly sorry I am, and that I accept the burden of looking over my shoulder for the rest of my life if one day their children of spouses come to try and take my life for the sin I have committed this night, and I accept my fate for when I die, I will understand if the goddess will not show me the mercy I do not deserve and will not ask for, but simply accept my fate after death.