Forgive Me My Lord

Chapter 5: Unholy

Chapter 5

Unholy

YATO'S POV)

******WARNING******

This chapter contains possible triggers for some of the audience. This chapter included: Child abuse, domestic violence, and cursing.

I got a chill down my spine out of nowhere. When I looked up and towards where we came in from, I instantly wish I hadn’t. Nanimi’s brother Usuei stood at the door. His expression was nothing less than terrifying, which reflectively made me take a step back. When Nanimi noticed my sudden distance, she followed my gaze and froze. Her hands became stiff. Although she didn’t move, you could tell inside she was trembling, the tension in the room was so thick you could cut it with the handle of a wooden spoon. I recalled how I felt when I remembered the way he treated her. I wanted to keep the feeling in the back of my mind in case he tries anything funny - obviously, I would have no chance against him right now, but don’t think I won’t do my darndest in trying.

You could see the fury in his dissuaded eyes at that moment. He took one step after another at an intimidating pace. In mere reaction, I pulled Nanimi’s arm, leading her behind me as if I were to protect her. Every step he took I felt my grip on her tighten, because I’d have to push her out of harm’s way if he provoked me enough. Usuei looked at me rather than at her. His malicious glare frightened Nanimi enough to divert her gaze downward.

“ Now Nanimi- I do remember telling you to not bother Lord Yato, he has much to do in such little time, and if disobeying me once was merely not enough for you obviously, you deliberately, disobeyed another order and showed him magic which could lead to distressful memories he can't handle in his current state? You are truly stubborn and incompetent, and I believe it would be in Lord Yato’s-best interests if you two no longer saw each other. Do forgive me for intruding Lord Yato but I do believe you have too much work to be wasting it on insolent girls- a friendly word of advice if I may- Nanimi is a taken woman, and her family’s name should not be taken lightly. You see, we are among the last of pure bloods, meaning our breed is nearly extinct and, as dear Nanimi is fully aware of her duty in protecting her bloodline for future generations for the sake of the Warcrops legacy. I’ll put this as gently as I can without offending our leader, but I’d advise you to find someone else to place your lustful intents, for the one you touch now has already been claimed”. He spats in a way to intimidate and tries not to break his gentleman's persona. At this point, he was nearly in my face, but I kept my chin up and stood my ground, keeping complete eye contact. I feel the negative energy coming off him. It feels like he’s releasing a dark Toxin and its slowly suffocating me. I may be a damn fool -but I’m going to give this jerk a taste of his own medicine.

“Usuei, in all due respect, I kindly ask you to take a few steps back. I personally asked Nanimi to do as she did and, if my memory serves me correctly, my word overrides yours whether you’re her brother or not. As well as if you’re going to be her oh so loving big brother, I’d think instead of putting her down you’d be complimenting everything she does intently with only a compliant attitude. Yet you are correct about a few things - yes I have a lot that needs to be done and little time to do it, but - from now on I’m announcing Nanimi as my personal consultant and trainer-she will be the only one to prepare me for my duties and I will only ask her for advice unless I see fit”, I spoke with authority and pride, but honestly I was trembling inside, but I couldn’t help my self- I had no control over what I was saying, and before I knew it I dug my own grave. “And about her being a claimed woman, I am not scared to be a real man and win her heart before I win her hand, not that it’s a competition but if that were the case I’d win her over before you even had a slim of a chance”, I said with passion burning in my eyes- I wanted to beat him I wanted to win her over and save her from that brute.

A dark presence shadows his face; somehow, he becomes even scarier, but I kept my ground and honestly didn’t regret a word I said. Usuei’s wings burst from his shoulder blades like a just blown balloon being popped with a needle. With doing so, several black feathers fell to the ground, carrying out the suspense in the room. He slowly turned his head left to right and each time doing so you heard a loud snap as he popped all the bones in his neck and hands, his gaze was still set on the floor with his bangs covering his eyes, causing a shadow to over half of his face. I’ll be completely honest, I was just getting more and more uneasy, he took another step closer and grabbed me by the collar of my shirt before I even had time to blink. I grunted in slight pain and prepared myself to get immobilized and the wind knocked out of me. Yet all I felt was being yanked back so hard I fell on my ass dumbfounded by what I was seeing. Nanimi had pulled me out of the way before he was able to pulverize me and slammed her fist into his face hard enough to the point he took a few steps back trying to snap out of the unexpected blow. When he turned to face us, I was paralyzed from seeing a line of blood inching out of his nose. Due to not being prepared for this, he looked at her unable to speak had the look he gave her was a mixture of surprise, anger, and discomfort, but for some reason I think the part that hurt him the most wasn’t the punch, but it was simply the fact she did it, the girl he’s been with as far as he can remember and the only one that has unintentionally captured his heart.

She stared at him intensely as if trying to pierce a dagger through his heart, “how dare you! Putting your feelings aside, he is still the king and our Lord, and master-you have no right to touch him as you please in such a hateful manner! Brother, you know all too well that I have ALWAYS attended to my duties and what is best for our family, but you do not own me- I have not made my decision on whether or not to continue with this unholy matrimony. I will do what I think is right - the choice is mine and mine alone. The thought of marrying a man with such hateful, mean, barbaric, and insensitive behavior as you does not exactly give me the marriage sensation that it should. I’ve given you my temporary answer. Don’t make the permanent one so easy to choose”, she spoke with rage in her voice and furry in her eyes. She was so angry, burning tears fled from her eyes, as she peered into his as if to warn him, but I don’t think he got the hint. He matched her penetrating gaze, taking one step at a time until he stopped directly in front of her, She didn’t move, she stood her ground with pure determination; her fists gripped so tightly they bruised, she was clenching her teeth to where you’d think they would chip from the pressure.

He slowly raised his hand; she flinched strictly in reflects, with only one eye closed, she looked up at him waiting for him to strike, but his excessive gaze softened as he looked deeply in her eyes - he looked upset but not at her yet at himself. He rested his hand gracefully upon her face and carefully tucked her long bangs that covered her eyes behind her ear. She was shocked while looking at him, puzzled by his sudden change in behavior, he showed a sad smile while lowering his head.

“ I apologize for my behavior, my-lord, please do forgive me for my foolish actions, and, sister, I’m deeply sorry to you-I now realized I’ve never put much thought into how you felt and the thought of the woman I so deeply cherish being repulsed by me feels like being speared in the chest where my heart should be. I understand what it is I must do-and don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying I’m giving up on you becoming my wife. I’ve been waiting to make you mine since you were born- but I’ve decided it is your choice with who you place your love in and I’m willing to fight for your love, even if not with swords and spells, but I shall win your love and then your hand.,and my lord - you maybe my master but with matters of the heart I will not give up easy, we shall see who is more worthy of her love in due time, but please don’t forget if by little chance she does for some odd reason fall for you-“ he paused as he caressed her flushed cheeks, and shoots a glare at me,” I will always be part of her life, trying to win over her heart even if I must pry it from your fingers. When I want something or in this case someone, I will do whatever is necessary for my success.” He states his declaration of war to me with no care of who I am, and I felt my heart get stuck in my chest and anger forbade my movement when he pressed his lips against her cheek and from that she turned red and looked away from him as he pulled away. As my anger constricted me, her shock constricted her; with that, as he pulled his hand away from her, leaving only the memory of his touch on her skin and left from which he came in triumph.

There were no words to describe how I felt at that moment, and I’m more than sure I wasn’t the only one feeling that way about what just happened. Nanimi turned around and helped me off the floor. I could tell she felt kind of bad about what happened, but it’s not her fault, it’s honestly mine. I could tell from the first time I’ve met her brother I could tell we were not going to get along whatsoever, but if he thinks he’s worthy of Nanimi I feel the obligation to prove him wrong. On the other hand though, I know that I’m not worthy of her in the slightest, not to mention how I said all of that s**t in front of her not even asking her if it was what she wanted- I’m no better than her brother. While thinking of what had just happened, I noticed I was still holding her hands from when she helped me up. I got all flustered and pulled away, putting one hand on my neck hoping to cool it off from utter embarrassment. I gripped the hair on the back of my head in anger because of not knowing what to say or do, I felt like an ass but didn’t know how to apologize without making a bigger d**k out of myself.

“Lord Yato, I appreciate you trying to help me and everything, but you need not give me special privileges when I was in the wrong. You were right even though my brother told me not to show you magic. I did it because you’ve asked me to and your word comes above all others, even Usuei’s. Also, I’m not in any way trying to tell you what to do and what not to do, but it is not wise to go against my brother, even if you are who you are, you're still not strong enough to win against him, and –“ she paused, looking down to the floor regretting what she was to say, “you need not pretend you have feelings for me, I know my duties and I couldn’t let you take on my burden when you could be finding someone with whom you hold dear to you- and not wasting your time with me. I’m happy you wanted to make me part of your personal counsel, but I am not fit to teach someone of your importance. I think it would be best if you appointed someone better qualified. You need not pity me, for I’m no one who deserves your grace and nobility- I’m sorry, but I am grateful for your consideration”, she said reluctantly, as pain washed over her face. After saying what she needed to say, she left with a bow and ran through the hallway before I could reply to her. She looked so hurt, either it was just me or it looked like she was about to cry. I felt my chest tighten - did she think I said all of that just because I felt bad for her, she couldn’t really think that. Could she?

I stood there with my fist clenched and jaw locked. Why the hell didn’t I say something first? Why didn’t I chase after her? – I was so shocked, as I answered my own questions, I became more and more frustrated and distressed. The first person - the first girl that has made me feel strong and makes me want to be a better, more worthy man, sees me just as a guy trying to save a damsel in distress with no intimate feelings included - how can I show her the truth, what can I do or say to change her mind? Granted, I’m not all to sure of what my feelings are for her, but I know I want to be close to her. I want to know more about her. What are her interests, what’s her story, what is her biggest fear, or childhood dreams? I wonder if I make her feel the same way she makes me feel. If not, then I’d understand why she would think it was a waste of time.

I stood there puzzled trying to find the answers to all the questions I had until I was struck with the realization that I know nothing, of this world, or at least I don’t remember it yet, but maybe, just maybe if I started taking this seriously, I could find my answers and, with the knowledge I gain I’m more than sure I’ll find a way to tell Nanimi how I feel and how she makes me feel - than again I still need to figure that out as well. With a sense of purpose, I found my determination and decided it’s time to figure out why I’m here and what I’m meant to do. With my pride on my back, I triumphed back to my room to deal with my first possible clue- the box, I had completely forgotten to ask Nanimi about that box I had found. I’ll be sure to do so next time I see her!

Little did I know when I was making up my decisions, Nanimi made one of her own.