I truly think about what Varek has asked me. Can I learn to love him someday? I spent a lifetime learning to love Theron. Bending and shifting myself to fit into the exact shape that matched his own. I learned how he wanted to be loved, and changed myself into the kind of person who could provide that love, and still it wasn’t enough. He never loved me, and if I’m honest with myself, I never loved him either. Not properly. Learning how to show love isn’t the same as loving, and I knew my duty well enough in the village to ignore any misgivings, despite the signs. The way he, even after years of knowing each other, growing up with one another, knew next to nothing about me. I knew his favorite foods, his favorite colors, how he preferred to be spoken to, and how he wanted to be seen by his
