Episode Four: The Words She Almost Said
1258 Words
After that night, Audrey Belle made a decision.
She would pretend.
Pretend nothing had changed. Pretend her heart hadn’t shifted into something fragile and dangerous. Pretend that every time Damian Reed smiled at Lina Bailey, it didn’t feel like something inside her was quietly unraveling.
It was easier that way.
Or at least… it was supposed to be.
The next morning, Audrey woke up earlier than usual.
Not because she had somewhere to be, but because sleep had become unreliable. Every time she closed her eyes, her thoughts drifted back to the same place.
I’m in love with him.
Now that she had admitted it, to herself, at least, there was no unknowing it.
It was in everything.
In the way she checked her phone first thing in the morning, hoping for a message from him.
In the way her chest tightened when she remembered Lina’s laugh echoing beside his.
In the way she avoided thinking too far ahead, because every version of the future she imagined hurt.
She sat up, pressing her palms against her eyes.
“Get it together, Audrey,” she murmured.
Because this wasn’t just about her.
This was about Lina too.
Later that afternoon, she found herself walking beside Damian again, just the two of them, like before.
It almost felt normal.
Almost.
“You’ve been avoiding us,” he said casually.
She kept her gaze ahead. “I haven’t.”
“You have,” he insisted. “You skipped lunch yesterday. And you left early the day before.”
“I’ve been busy.”
“With what?”
She hesitated.
He stopped walking.
“Audrey.”
There it was again, that tone. Gentle, but persistent. The one he used when he wasn’t going to let something go.
She turned to face him, forcing a calm expression. “What do you want me to say?”
“The truth,” he replied.
The truth.
For a brief, terrifying second, it sat right there on her tongue.
I’m in love with you.
The words rose so quickly, so naturally, it startled her.
Her heart pounded.
This is it, a voice in her head whispered. Just say it. End this.
But then,
Lina’s face flashed in her mind.
Her smile.
Her trust.
The way she had said, I think I really like him.
Audrey swallowed hard.
“The truth is,” she said slowly, “things are just… different.”
Damian frowned. “Different how?”
She let out a small breath. “You’re with Lina now. Of course things are going to change.”
“That doesn’t mean we have to,” he said quickly. “You’re still important to me. Nothing about that has changed.”
His words were sincere.
And that made it worse.
Because they weren’t enough.
“I know,” she said softly. “But it’s not just about you.”
“Then what is it about?”
She hesitated again.
Say it.
Say it now.
But the courage slipped away just as fast as it had come.
“It’s about me,” she said instead. “I just need time to adjust.”
He studied her carefully, like he was trying to read between the lines she refused to cross.
“Adjust to what?” he asked quietly.
To loving you.
The answer echoed in her mind, but she didn’t speak it.
“Just… everything,” she said.
A long silence followed.
Then Damian nodded slowly. “Okay.”
But something in his expression told her he knew she wasn’t telling him everything.
That evening, Lina showed up at Audrey’s room again.
This time, she looked… different.
Not upset.
Not unsure.
Just certain.
Audrey noticed it immediately.
“You look happy,” she said.
Lina smiled, dropping onto the bed. “I am.”
Audrey sat across from her, trying to ignore the tightness in her chest. “That’s good.”
Lina hesitated, then said, “He asked me out.”
The words landed softly, but they carried weight.
“Officially,” Lina added. “Like… we’re actually together now.”
Audrey’s breath caught for a split second.
Then she smiled.
A real one.
Because despite everything, she loved Lina.
“I’m happy for you,” she said.
And this time, it wasn’t entirely a lie.
Lina beamed. “Really?”
“Of course,” Audrey replied. “You deserve someone who makes you feel like that.”
Lina tilted her head. “And you don’t?”
Audrey shrugged lightly. “I haven’t met that person yet.”
That wasn’t true.
But it was easier than explaining the truth.
Later that night, Audrey sat alone again.
But this time, she didn’t cry.
She just… felt.
The quiet ache. The steady realization. The understanding that this wasn’t something that would disappear overnight.
She had missed her moment.
Or maybe… she had never taken it.
And now, she would have to live with that.
A few days later, something unexpected happened.
Something small.
But enough to shake her.
It was raining.
Not heavily, just a soft, steady drizzle that turned the campus paths slick and reflective.
Audrey stood under the shelter outside her lecture hall, waiting for it to pass.
She hadn’t brought an umbrella.
Of course she hadn’t.
“You’re going to get sick if you stand here all day.”
She turned.
Damian.
He held an umbrella, slightly tilted, raindrops sliding off its edges.
“What are you doing here?” she asked.
“Looking for you,” he said simply.
Her heart skipped.
“For me?”
“Yeah,” he said. “You left before I could catch you earlier.”
There was something in his tone, something quieter than usual.
More intentional.
He stepped closer, lifting the umbrella slightly so it covered both of them.
They stood there, closer than they had been in days.
Close enough that Audrey could feel the warmth of him, even through the cool air.
“Walk with me?” he asked.
She hesitated.
Then nodded.
They walked slowly, the rain falling softly around them, the world quieter than usual.
For a while, neither of them spoke.
Then Damian said, “I miss this.”
“This?” she echoed.
“Just… us,” he said. “Talking. Walking. Not feeling like there’s something in the way.”
Her chest tightened.
There is something in the way.
Me.
“I’m still here,” she said.
“I know,” he replied. “But it feels like you’re not.”
She stopped walking.
He turned to face her, confusion flickering across his features.
“What?” he asked.
She looked at him.
Really looked at him.
And suddenly, everything she had been holding back rushed to the surface.
This is your moment.
Say it.
Her heart pounded.
Her hands trembled slightly at her sides.
“Damian,” she began.
He waited.
Patient.
Open.
Ready.
The words were right there.
“I,”
She stopped.
Because once she said it, there was no going back.
No fixing it.
No undoing the damage it might cause.
Lina.
The thought hit her like a wall.
And just like that,
The moment slipped away.
“I’m just tired,” she finished weakly.
Damian’s expression fell, just slightly.
Like something had almost happened… and didn’t.
“Right,” he said.
The silence that followed felt heavier than anything they had said.
That night, Audrey lay awake again.
But this time, the regret was sharper.
Closer.
Because she had almost said it.
Almost changed everything.
And she hadn’t.
- Writer
