Happiness Is A Choice

Do you want me to?

Tanch

I sighed for the umpteenth time already. I'm tired. I want to take a break for a few minutes but I can't, I have tons of things I need to do.

"President? Its lunch already let's go grab something to eat." Rayce, the student council's secretary asked.

"I'm still full Rayce, you can go ahead."

"But president-"

"Don't worry about me Rayce. I'll eat once we're done on this paper works."

Rayce just nodded and left me alone in the Student Council office. I've been busy for the past few days for the Sports Competition on Wednesday until Friday. Today is Monday and I decided to ask my teachers to excuse me for all classes today until tomorrow to focus on this event. And since Friday Literature class, I never caught a glimpse of Sarah yet. I sighed again realizing I miss Sarah more than I could ever imagine.

It's been 4 weeks since the class started and 2 weeks since Sarah transferred here. I've never been excited to go to school, I never looked forward to attending classes, specifically Literature, Algebra, and PE. Even though I looked like a kind of student who makes studying as a habit, I'm not. I want to spend more time in my bed than sitting in an old chair and listening to boring lessons I don't even know why we need to learn.

I buried my head on my hands on the center table.

I want to sleep. I want to rest. I want to see Sarah. I want to hear her voice. I want to smell her perfume. I want Sarah now!

I almost jump on the couch when I heard someone knocked on the door.

Who could it be?

"Come in." I lazily said, still with my head buried in my hands.

When I heard the doorknob twists, I raised my head to look at the person who disturbed my paradise peace.

"Sarah."

I half-shouted call at her. My eyes twinkled at the sight. I can't believe she's right here. I can't believe God immediately granted my wish.

Thank you Looooooord.

"Sup Tanch."

"Sarah, what brought you here?"

Sarah shrugged her shoulders then replied,

"I figured out that you won't eat lunch today. And I think I'm so so right. Am I?"

I giggled at what she said then replied,

"Of course I'll eat lunch," I said trying to convince her but I really don't have any plans to eat lunch.

"Of course that's a lie."

Sarah said while smirking at me. I sighed and surrendered myself.

"Okay, it's just-- I have a lot of things to do and I don't have time for that."

Sarah shakes her head a few times.

"Of course you'll have time to eat because I'll make you eat." She winked at me. I count up to 5 to control myself.

Calm down. Okay? Calm down. It's just a wink, okay? I guess so.

"Sarah it's just a waste of time going to the cafeteria, falling in line, eating and then going back here. It will take too much time."

Sarah consecutively nods and then smiled sweetly.

"I know that's why I brought us lunch. I'll eat with your day."

She said smiling from ear to ear then winked again at me then placed the plastic bag she's holding on the center table.

My heart skipped a beat then beat abnormally.

"You don't have to Sarah. I'm okay."

Sarah moved closer to me. She held my face with her two soft hands and intently look at me in the eyes.

"I doubt if you're okay. You look pale and sad."

I blushed and averted my gaze at her.

"Probably because of fatigue or-"

"Or maybe because you miss me!"

I blushed harder.

God, why is she torturing me with her cuteness and sweetness?

"Haha. Don't get your hopes so high."

"Whatever Tanch. Come on, get this."

Sarah opened the plastic bag and took a lunch box.

"Come on. Eat." She demanded and give me the spoon and fork.

"Sarah, you don't have to do this."

"No Tanch. I want to do this. I want to take care of you. Please allow me to." Sarah seriously said while looking directly at my eyes.

My heart beats louder and faster. I wonder if she can hear it. I gulped twice or maybe thrice, to be honest, I didn't have time to count it.

As I took the spoon and fork in her hand, she smiled widely and also took her food on the plastic bag.

This is delicious!

"Are you the one who cook this?"

"Of course not. Why would I cook for you?"

She gives me a questioning look and raised her one eyebrow.

Oh, right.

I just nod and averted my gaze at her and then I felt soft hands pinched me on the cheeks.

"Ouch. What's that for?" I caressed my cheeks and look at Sarah.

Sarah just giggled and mouthed,

"Of course, I'm the one who cooked that. I cooked it only for you so you better eat all of that."

I tried to swallow my smile, I succeeded to hide the joy on my lips but not on my eyes.

She is driving me crazy. I don't know what's going on with her. I don't why she is so sweet but I'm a hypocrite if I say I don't love it.

Minutes quickly passed, we're chitchatting about random things. She's complaining about how boring Algebra and Literature classes are. Maybe because I'm not there. And soon, the bell ring signalling that lunchtime was over. I frowned secretly.

I still want to spend a few more minutes with Sarah.

"Sarah thank you again for lunch."

Sarah just smiled and winked at me then left the Student Council's office in a haste.

Finally, I let my emotions out. I smiled from ear to ear replaying all the words she said. I felt my cheeks get hot.

Sarah, how can you make me blush so easily?

"President?"

I heard Rayce voice. I didn't even notice she entered the office already.

"Oh hello, Rayce."

"You're smiling." She pointed out the obvious.

"Ah. What's wrong with smiling?" I asked while organizing some papers.

"Err-- Since morning up until lunchtime, the president you looked so tired and stressed. And, weirdly, you're in a good mood already. Or else something happened. Or maybe someoneeeeee?"

"W-what are you saying? Let's just go back to w-work."

Rayce gives me an i-knew-it look but decided to shrug it all and go back to work.

I sighed.

Sarah. Oh my, Sarah. You're my ruined.

--

Wednesday finally came. Today is Sports Competition. No classes for three consecutive days. That would be great if only I would have a chance to be with Sarah. I sighed as I looked at Sarah, sitting at a bench a few meters away from me. I'm sitting at the front, organizing, and making sure things flow perfectly. I watched her giggled at what Lacey's whispered to her, not bothering to listen to the Principal's speech. If only I'm not the Student Council's President then I would be sitting beside Sarah. Talking with Sarah. Laughing with Sarah. Or maybe if I'm not the President, then she will never notice me. We will never be friends. I will never have a chance to talk to her. I sighed again only God knows how many times already since this day started.

"You sighed a lot."

Rayce stated as she stared at me curiously.

"Headache."

I lied and tried to listen to the principal's speech.

Seriously, what's this speech for?

After another one whole hour, finally, the program's done. After lunch, the competition is scheduled to start. I assigned each member of the Student Council Organization to different sports. And me, they allow me to rest 'cause the 'headache' that were supposed to be lies are starting to be real enough to bother my day.

I push myself down on the couch. I groaned as I felt my headache getting worse.

I heard a soft knock on the door but I don't have any strength to open the door so I just shouted 'come in' in a lazy voice. I didn't even bother to look at the person who just entered the office, my headache is killing me.

My nostrils were enveloped by a familiar perfume. That must be

"Sarah. You're here again."

I said while smiling from ear to ear then I remember my headache and followed my smile with a groan.

"What's the wrong Tanch?"

"Headache."

I simply said and rest my head on the armrest of the couch while looking at her.

"I can help you with that."

She sits beside me and gestured me to sit on the floor between her legs. Not even have a clue what she'll do, but still obeyed her.

I sighed in satisfaction as I felt her soft little hands massage my temple.

It felt so good.

"How was it?"

I smiled even though Sarah couldn't see it.

"I couldn't ask for more of this."

Sarah didn't bother to reply and just continue massaging my temple.

"Sarah, why did you come here? I mean. It's not like I don't want you here. It's just -- I'm just, ah, curious. I guess?"

Sarah giggled first then spoke.

"Truthfully, I was on my way to watch Lacey play but I bumped on your secretary. So I asked where you are, and she told me you're here because you're not feeling well."

"Oh. You know you don't have to come here. It's just a headache and I can manage it on my own."

Even though I want you here.

"Of course Tanch but I want to. I want to come and take care of you."

I didn't fight off the smile and the blush that's creeping up on my face because it's out of view of Sarah.

After muttering thanks to Sarah, she didn't reply and just focus on massaging my temple.

She's good at this.

Before I fell asleep, I heard Sarah hummed a song, and then my eyelids closed and my mind found its peace on Sarah's soft and delicate hands.

It was already 3:37 when I woke up. I sleep for more than two hours on Sarah's lap. I'm still sitting on the floor and her left hand was on top of my head.

I look up to see Sarah sleeping peacefully. I stood up and sit on the couch beside her.

She looks like an angel.

I smiled and continue staring at her face. Her eyes closed her small nose and her lips. It looks so soft.

I want to touch it.

My hand moved on its own. It was getting nearer and nearer to Sarah's lips when her eyes fluttered open and I immediately withdraw my hand and sit up straight so she won't see my face blushing.

"Tanch. You're awake already, why didn't you wake me up?" Sarah said while rubbing her eyes.

"Nah. It's not been long since I wake up."

"Ah, okay. What time is it?"

"3:40."

Sarah nodded and tried to switch the topic.

"I think the basketball game is now starting. Won't you watch it?"

Sarah asked as she stood up and stretched her arms and legs. I stood up as well and picked up the papers scattered on the floor.

"Told you, Sarah, I'm not a fan of basketball. So I don't have any plan."

"Hmm. How long have you been together?"

"I don't know. 7? 8? 9 months? I guess?"

Sarah chuckled at my not so sure answer.

"How the hell you don't know?"

I just shrugged my shoulders.

"Do you even love him?"

I looked at her and gave her 'are-you-serious-look'.

"No. Why would I?"

"Then why are you with him?"

"I don't know."

Sarah laughed at my answer.

"It's just that he's bothering me since the day he transferred here that's why I gave him a chance."

Sarah only muttered 'oh' as answer.

"How about you Sarah? Ahm. Are you in a relationship right now?"

I looked at Sarah who's currently playing something on her phone. I felt my hands get wet and I secretly rub it on my skirt. I'm nervous and hoping that she'll say no, she's single right now.

Sarah smiled at me then answer,

"No, but was."

I nodded consecutively and gathered enough courage to ask something personal again.

"Did you love him or her?”

Sarah stood up and look for something that may catch her interest.

"It' her and of course I loved her. With all my heart."

"How does it feel to be in love?" I curiously asked. Sarah didn't speak for a few seconds. She just smiled at the thing she's holding at then walked closer to me. Close enough to feel her breath on my face.

She looked at me straight to the eye. It was too deep. It felt like I'm seeing my soul on her eyes. It gave me goosebumps and made my knees trembles in fear. Fear of the possibility that she might hear my heart beating louder and faster.

She averted her eyes from my eyes then stare at my lips that caused me to do the same.

Her lips look floppy and soft. It looks like it's inviting me, encouraging me to tangle my hands on her hair and push myself onto her lips.

She looked back at my eyes for a few seconds and then back at my lips again.

I-Is she going to kiss me?

I gulped and caught my breath on my throat. I can hardly breathe because of her intense stare.

"Do you want me to?"

"W-what?' My voice betrayed me and broke due to nervousness.

"Do you want me to make you love me?"

She asked while looking at my soul through her naked eyes. I gulped again at her question. My mouth was so dry. I badly needed water.

My words were trapped at my mouth. I couldn't speak. I couldn't find the right words to say. I don't know what to reply. I don't know what to do. My mind was a mess

"W-what do you mean?"

Seriously I don't even know what I mean with my question. I don't know how I managed to speak it. Maybe I didn't use my brain to form that sentence.

Sarah leaned closer. Our nose was slightly touching each other. I felt like I'm going to lose my consciousness at any moment right now.

Sarah, just kiss me! Wait -- what the hell?

My phone suddenly rings that caused Sarah to move her face away from mine and look away from me. I looked for my stupid phone and found it on the center table.

It was James.

I frowned at the sight and even if I don't want to answer, I felt the need to answer it.

"James"

James tried to convince me to watch his game but I don't want so I just ended the call when he's in the middle of his drama.

I sighed and shoved my phone in my pocket and looked at Sarah.

"It's already 4:10, I think I should go." She said while looking at her wristwatch.

"W-wait! Where are you going?"

"Home." She said they smiled at me. She bid her goodbye then walked outside the office.

I didn't even get a chance to speak again because my mind was blank. I don't know what to say so I just stare at her retreating figure.

"Do you want me to make you love me?"

I blushed, remembering what she said and how close is she earlier.

If my phone didn't ring, will she, kiss me?