The Queen Alpha

Difficult Choices

**Trigger Mentions of Abortion**

(Emma)

I lay on the couch in our living room curled in a ball as Kara makes a phone call to my mom. “Dr. Scott, we need you to come over immediately, Emma has an emergency she needs your help with. Thank you, we’ll see you soon.” Kara hangs up the phone and comes to sit next to me, her presence providing me with comfort.

My mind races as I wait for my mom to get there. Flashbacks of Carter play like a scary movie and I find myself counting to 100 over and over to distract myself from the torment my own head is putting me through.

I must’ve dozed off because next thing I know, I hear a glass hit the ground. I sit up to see my mom and Kara at the kitchen counter. Kara’s face is pained and my mom has a hand over her mouth in shock. My stomach drops when I realize Kara just told her my dirty little secret.

I stand and look at my mate, betrayal brewing. “You told her? Why would you do that without me?”

Kara bites her lip and mom rushes towards me, gripping my hands in hers. “Oh honey, she didn’t want you to have to go through the pain of saying it out loud again.” She pulls me down onto the couch. “I can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now, and I know how scared you are but I promise we will get through this together.”

Relief floods over me. “Oh thank gods you’re on my side mom I was so worried that when you found out I wasn’t going to keep it you would hate me.”

There’s a brief moment of silence while mom looks between me and Kara. Kara steps forward, placing a hand on my shoulder. “I um, hadn’t gotten that far yet Emma. She had just found out about the first part.”

I gulp uncomfortably. Mom drops my hands, disgusted by me. “What do you mean you aren’t going to keep the baby? There’s a life growing inside you and you want to snuff it out?”

I shift awkwardly in my seat and look to Kara for help. “You realize what horrific things your daughter went through for this to have happened right? I think it’s perfectly reasonable she wants it out of her.” There’s a slight harshness in Kara’s voice.

My mom looks between the two of us. “Honey I know the conception of your baby was awful and I wish I could’ve protected you from it, but it’s not the baby’s fault. This is your chance at having a family. You and Kara will have a child to raise and an heir to the crown.” She smiles hopefully at me but I shake my head.

“Mom I can’t keep it. I don’t want it. I don’t want something that will be a constant reminder of Carter while I’m trying to have a life with Kara. I’m sorry that you don’t like my choice but it’s what’s best for me.” I try to reach out for her hand but my mom remains stoic, processing what I said to her. “I need your help to have an abortion, mom. You’re the best doctor around and I know that it’s early enough I just need a pill or something.”

She seems to come back to life. “Excuse me? You want me to help you kill my grandchild? What is wrong with you? You know, when I found out I was pregnant with you your father and I barely knew each other. Should I have just flushed my baby down the toilet?” Mom exclaims at me.

I try to defend myself but Kara beats me to it. “It’s not a baby yet. And what you decided for your life has nothing to do with what Emma should decide. This is her life. Nobody gets to tell her how to live it. Not you or me or anyone else.”

Mom scoffs at Kara and fear starts to leak into my blood when I realize that Kara won’t take much more disrespect. “Oh please you’ve know my daughter what? Barely two months? I gave birth to her. I know what is best for her. Emma, if you do this you are no better than Carter.” I feel as if I’ve been shot.

Kara slams her hand down on the coffee table. “Don’t you dare compare her to that monster. We are your Alpha and Luna and I will not tolerate this any longer. You will watch your tone when speaking to us.” She snarls, eyes flashing dangerously.

My mom looks between the two of us and quietly walks to the door. “If you want to have an abortion, that is on your soul. I won’t be a part of this. My daughter wouldn’t do this.” With that, she leaves without another word.

I stand up, pissed and hurt by my mother’s cruelty. Kara tries to hug me but I turn on her. “Don’t ever talk to my mom like that again. I don’t care how rude she is, it’s not your place.” I point my finger at her and Kara seems taken aback, a hurt look on her face.

She growls irritably, stalking past me to the kitchen. “I understand she’s your mother but reminding my people who their leaders are and expecting respect for myself and my Luna is my place.” Pouring herself a glass of wine, she sighs heavily. “Emma I realize what is happening isn’t easy for you. But I am your mate, not your punching bag. You shouldn’t talk to me like this when we’re a team.”

Regret floods through my body and out my eyes, Gods why am I crying so much? I follow her into the kitchen and wrap my arms around her waist. “I’m so sorry Kara, I didn’t realize how mean I was being to you. None of this is your fault and I’m treating you like it is. Will you forgive me?”

She kisses the top of my head. “Of course I’ll forgive you, I’ll always forgive you. Can we figure this out together now? The burden isn’t all on you. I always have your back.” My heart swells.

She grabs her glass and leads me upstairs to our massive bathroom. “What are we doing?” I ask.

Her delicate hand turns on the water, and she dips her finger into it to check the temperature. “You need to relax. You’re going to take a bath and I’m going to make a few calls to help get this situation handled.” Kara grabs a bottle of bubble bath and pours it into the steaming water. The scent of roses and coconut fills the air, providing the perfect aroma therapy.

I undress with the help of my mate and slip into the bathroom, a pleasureful groan escaping.

Kara kisses me and walks out of the bedroom.

I close my eyes and let the warmth comfort me.

My mind wanders and I start to daydream of what the future holds for Kara and I. At first, I imagine traveling the world, helping her build her ever-growing empire. I picture us kissing on Eiffel Tower, laying out in a beach in Jamaica and sleeping in a bungalow in the Bahamas.

An intrusive thought breaks at my daydream and now I see a different future. Kara holding my hand while I scream and push a baby out. The nurse handing me a beautiful little infant with wisps of auburn hair and green eyes. I envision Kara chasing after a toddler running off with her cellphone and us spending Christmas Eve stuffing a stocking and hiding presents for our child under the tree.

Kara comes to sit on the edge of the bathtub, a bottle of shampoo in her hand. “Dip your head under the water.” She instructs. I ask as she says, and Kara pours a small glob of flower scented soap into her hand, then massages it into my scalp. I lean into my mates skillful fingers, her long nail’s scratching my head is heavenly. “I just want to say, the idea of you as a mom is intriguing. You would a really good one. I think we could be good parents.” She tells me.

I turn to face her. “Kara, what are you saying? You want me to have Carter’s baby?”

She turns me back around to finish washing my hair. “No, that’s not what I’m saying. I just wanted to let you know that if you were getting rid of it because of me, that you don’t have to. I would love and cherish the both of you for the rest of our lives together. Put your hair under the water.” I tilt my head back and she rinses the shampoo out. Kara leans over to the towel rack and grabs one for me to dry off with. “Our guest is here, come downstairs when you’re ready.”

I look down at my pudgy belly. How on earth can there be something inside of there? It couldn’t be bigger than a grain of rice, and yet if I left it there it’d be an entire human in just months. I shake my head vigorously and climb out of the now lukewarm water. I can’t think of it like that, it’s not a baby. It’s a parasite and I need to get it out before it grows into another Carter.

I grab a pair of fuzzy teal pants and a black tee shirt and get dressed, lazily throwing my hair into a bun to keep it out of the way. I hear the doorbell ring and Kara inviting someone inside. Taking one last deep breath, I pat my stomach. “Sorry little thing, it’s nothing personal, I just can’t let you stay in there.”

Walking down the stairs, my anxiety is raging and I try to take nice, deep breaths. My stomach lurches and I swallow down the urge to vomit. I find Kara in the living room with Misera, the old women who had crowned us. She carries with her a large bag. “Good evening Luna, the Alpha has called and told me you have something you wish to be rid of.” She smiles at me, her golden eyes warm and inviting.

“Y-yes. I just want this nightmare over with.” I stammer.

Misera nods and steps closer to me. “May I?” She gestures towards my midsection and I agree awkwardly. Closing her eyes, she places an aged hand across my stomach. “You’re still very early, I’d say barely four weeks, correct?” She asks and I agree with her. “Good, this will be a very easy thing to fix. Alpha, can you please grab a mug and a spoon?”

Misera goes to the dining room table and pulls out a thermos. “This is a very special tea I just brewed for you. Drink the entire cup and in a few hours the cramping will start. You will have what is similar to a heavy menstrual cycle and in a couple of days the bleeding will stop completely.”

I gulp and watch her pour a greenish tea into the coffee mug. The elder places the mug in front of me and stares into my eyes as if looking into my soul. Suddenly embracing me in a hug, she whispers into my ear. “Trust yourself, young witch. Trust what you are feeling. This is only a small part of your story and will seem so insignificant in the future. From you will come a great power and a prophecy will be fulfilled. Good luck to you.” She kisses my cheek brashly and grabs her things. “Your majesty, could you please help me to my car? My legs just don’t work like they used to.” She chuckles. “Oh Luna Emma, you better drink that soon, it’s not effective after it cools off.”

The two of them leave me in an empty room with my uncertainty.

I sit in front of the tea and bravely bring it to my lips, before setting it back down again and glaring at it. “Quit being such a sissy and just drink.” I say aloud to myself. “f**k it.” I grab the cup once again bringing it to my lips. I sigh and plop it back down, the steam slowly getting smaller as if it’s taunting me.

Finally I make my decision, I lift the cup and take one last deep breath to calm my nerves. “Please don’t let this be a mistake.”