Trapped between love and lust

Chapter 2 First Step

*LILY*

At exactly 7 PM, I picked up Molly, and together, we made our way to 365 Pub downtown. As always, Molly looked stunning. Throughout our journey there, we had conversations about different topics and one of them was how my cousin Charlie had been a sweetheart to her.

I looked good myself in a black Ren wrap-front belted blazer paired with a black long-sleeve cut-out sheer mesh jumpsuit and black front lace-up ankle boots. I felt confident and alluring tonight. I wasn’t much of a drinker due to my low tolerance for alcohol.

Just as we arrived, the music cascaded around us, blending with the mingling of people. "You look amazing," I complimented Molly as we settled at the bar counter.

"You look gorgeous too!" she replied, raising her voice above the loud music. "And I’m so proud of you." Molly was one of the best things in my life, a constant support just as much as I was for her. We'd been inseparable since high school, knowing each other's deepest secrets and thoughts.

"Are you drinking tonight?" she inquired.

"It depends," I answered with a sly smile.

"You have to have a drink or two, you deserve it," she urged. She was right; I deserved a celebration. I had removed one of the barriers in my path to achieving my dreams. Although I appreciated the help he'd given me, I knew my success was due to my own hard work and determination.

"Then let’s do it." We ordered some shots and drank one after the other.

The bartender placed two drinks in front of us, indicating they were from the gentlemen seated across the room.

"Oh, you're being eyed," Molly remarked.

“He’s hot, Not my type though” I replied, taking a sip. Today marked a new beginning for me. I was determined to take charge of my life and strive for my future.

The evening passed quickly, and soon, I was quite intoxicated. So much so that I could barely keep my eyes open. Luckily Molly drove me home.

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“Don’t you think you’re reaching too far for something beyond your grasp?” My mother's voice cut through the air as she sat beside my father, both watching me from across the room. I often wondered why I bothered sharing my aspirations with them; they’ve never been supportive.

I decided to visit them and clear up what had happened with Lucas but I guess it wasn’t a good idea.

“I've made up my mind, and that’s final. It wouldn't hurt for you guys to be even a little supportive for once,” I retorted, feeling frustration surge within me.

“Supportive? Weren’t we there for you when you joined the football team in college? Didn’t we stand by you when you pursued your training at the Detective agency?” my father's voice rose, reflecting his anger.

“All those things you mentioned, I had to beg and struggle before you gave in. You forced me into a relationship with a man I didn't love—that was the only option for your approval,” I shot back, feeling the weight of my words.

“What an ungrateful child you are, Kate,” my mother replied with disappointment. “We only asked one favor—to marry a financially stable man for your own happiness. Do you believe you can achieve anything you want? Do you truly think you can chase your dreams and be who you want to be?” Her use of my middle name, a tool she used to manipulate me during childhood, hit a raw nerve.

“My happiness? Clearly you do not know your daughter”

“We raised you, we know exactly what’s good for you. The world is harsh, let men do what they do best because we women cannot do what men can.” My mother replied.

“At least I’m willing to try. I have the drive to pursue anything, unlike you, Mom and Dad... I have hopes and dreams,” I struggled to contain my tears, feeling a lump form in my throat. This wasn't the moment to break down in front of them. They'd belittled me throughout my childhood, but I refused to let them do so any longer.

“Trying and having willpower isn't enough. You’re a woman; your aspirations should be ordinary. Don't aim too high; settle down, have children with a well-off man. You'd have done that if you hadn't broken up with Lucas,” my mother asserted.

“It’s pointless,” I declared, rising to my feet without another word, storming out. My heart sank, tears clouded my vision, and as I got into my car, without realizing the floodgates opened. I couldn’t even hear myself cry, my breaths became shallow, and I gasped for air.

Rain lashed against the windshield, mirroring the storm within me. Each blurry raindrop on the glass seemed to echo my mother's words, replaying the sting of her disappointment. My fingers tightened on the steering wheel. Headlights became streaks of neon, blurring the road ahead. The steering wheel trembled beneath my hands, the leather slick with unshed tears.

Every word replayed in a cruel loop, their voices barbed hooks tearing at my dreams. "Ordinary." "Settle down." "Don't aim too high." They were a mantra of fear, a cage for my ambitions.

But somewhere amidst the storm, a defiant spark flickered. My sobs hitched into gasps, transforming into angry breaths. They could deny me their support, but they couldn't steal my spirit.

I wiped my eyes, the rain on my face a cool balm. Maybe their approval was a lost cause, a mirage shimmering in the desert of their limited vision.

The city lights glowed through the rain, promising possibilities. And for the first time, the sting of their words melted away, replaced by a fierce determination.