░Fifteen░
775 Words
ABDALLAH
It's funny how just a few words from someone can make you feel like crap. There are only 26 letters in the English language and some people can pierce your heart with them. Making you insecure about something you're happy with and proud of.
Nobody has ever spoken to me like that. Sure, they must talk behind my back but no one has the audacity to outright insult me.
I step out of my car, my feet making crunching sounds as they step over dried leaves. I stare at my house, wondering what can possibly be wrong with it.
It feels homey in its austere simplicity.
Sophia's words ring in my ears, I can't live in that shitty excuse of a house. . .
I clench my fists into tight balls at my sides.
I won't let anyone make me feel ashamed of who I am. Not when I've built everything from scratch. My career . . . heck, even my life.
When my father passed away, I was barely an adult and had no idea what to make of his marketing business. So, I let my uncle take over, trusting that excuse-for-a-man after how much my father helped him out.
Not only a few months after, he started sending less and less money after which he completely stopped. Turned out, he had let the business crumble to ruin.
Being the only male in the family, the burden of the well-being of our household fell upon my shoulders.
I took the initiative to sell our house to provide for our basic needs till I found a well-paying job.
Within a few days, my life went from total bliss to bone-breaking hardship.
And that's how my journey began. I worked more than five part-time jobs. By the age of 19, I had gained experience in many fields.
Thankfully, Baba had a number of properties. I used a few of them to pay for my younger sister's school while I studied on scholarships.
So yes, I don't think anyone has the right do that to me.
I've come a long way from where I began and I'm grateful to Allah for it, every day.
I feel like, the more you experience the outside world, the sooner you learn the worthlessness of it.
As someone has so simply said, "Life is what happens when you're busy making plans."
I never thought I'd lose my father. I mean, I barely knew that there was something like death much less ever thought about it.
But that's the thing. People like to turn off that thought as soon as it creeps into their minds. Because 'why would I die when I'm so young'?
I wish I could tell everyone that it's right there. Death is right there. It will either come slowly or quickly but it will come one day. For every single person.
So, although I feel like I don't want to go on with life, I know I have to. And I will. Till Allah decides to take me away from here.
Because you know what? Jannah is real.
And that's all I've ever wanted.
•••
"Assalaamualaikum, beautiful." I greet my mother with a smile.
Just looking at her makes me happy. All my worries fade away knowing that my mother and sister get to live comfortably.
She looks delighted to see me and makes her way over to me, setting down her wooden spoon on the kitchen counter.
She envelops me in a warm hug. My shoulders sag as I let her positive energy wash over me.
She mumbles all sorts of things to me. Things one would say to their cute, chubby baby. Not a grown man.
She cups my face between her hands.
"I can't wait for you to get married!"
I feel all the air escape my body.
"Ma. . ." I stutter, not knowing how to explain the situation to her. "About that. . ."
She looks worried now.
"Everything's okay, right?"
It's the sweetness in her voice that makes me pause and think this through.
I can't tell her. Not yet, anyway.
She's been so excited from the day I told her about wanting to get married to Sophia. I can't break her heart like that.
Of course, I'm not getting married to Sophia but since she's the one to break it off so abruptly, she better tell everyone herself.
But the mere thought of hearing her voice after our encounter today, aggravates me.
If someone can judge you based on your social status then they're definitely not 'the one' for you.
However, I need to speak to her about this. And soon.
- Writer
