Alright, settle in, because Mrs. Brewer’s Basic Chemistry class was about to take us all on a joyless dive into the bitter world of caffeine—because who needs hope or happiness in seventh grade, right?
Mrs. Brewer was the kind of teacher who could make Dante’s Inferno look like a sunny picnic. And with a name like Brewer, you’d assume her specialty was coffee facts or something. Naturally, I started throwing out coffee jokes faster than you could say “espresso shot,” but she just stared blankly, calling them silly. Yeah, that’s the level of encouragement I got.
Then came that one shining moment when curiosity slightly overpowered my existential dread, and I asked her, “So, what kind of compound is caffeine?” I was half-expecting a one-line “stimulant” answer, but nope—Mrs. Brewer whips o
