To Kiss My True Memories

CHAPTER 9

Chapter 9

I heard someone entered ngunit hindi ko ito pinansin because I'm busy watching my reflection while washing my hands. I then feel this person standing beside me now, I saw her reflection through the mirror.

It was Zurina.

"So, I hope you won't seduce Darrow now." she started while looking at me through the mirror seriously.

I scowled, confused on what Zurina said. Ginaya niya ang ginagawa kong paghuhugas ng kamay habang hindi niya ako binitawan ng titig sa pamamagitan ng salamit. She's seriously watching me.

"You're not deaf, right? I hope you heard what tita Mizelle declared in front of us lately..." she smiled at me sweetly. "That I'm Darrow fiance, her son, her only son. Kaya wag ka ng magbalak na agawin at landiin siya because I swear iba ang matitikman mo sa akin." pagalit niyang tugon, masama na ang tingin sa akin ngayon.

Nanatili naman akong tahimik, walang masabi dahil hindi alam kung ano ba ang sinasabi nya. What she want? Are she kidding me? I'm not mang-aagaw o malandi if that her want to educe.

"And biside there was so many boy's can likes you, katulad ng kanina. It's better if you give your attention to them. Marami naman sila kaya sigurado ako may magugustuhan ka sa kanila. Don't find any ways to go back to Darrow again, do you think he's still like before? You're not important to him from the beginning, don't give more hope to yourself." deretso niyang saad, bawat salita ay mariin ang pagbigkas.

"W-hat do you mean? W-what are you talking about-?"

She cut me off Immediately. "Ohh." napatakip pa siya sa kaniyang bibig. "Don't play like you're the victim here! Don't play like you didn't know what is happening right now and back before. Don't play like you didn't left him without any words! Bakit gusto mo na bang kalimuta ang mga nangyari-"

"Ano ba kasing sinasabi mo!" malakas kong sigaw sa kanya, hindi ko na napigilan pa. "Can you clarify about it!?" naghihina kong pakiusap dahil nararamdaman ko nanaman ang pagsakit ng aking ulo.

Paulit-ulit ang mariin kong pagpikit dahil sa pagsimulang sakit ng aking ulo, gayon din ay ang pagpintik ng aking puso na ang dala ay kirot na tila karayom na tumutusok. I closed my eyes firmly hoping that it could help me to endure the ache I was feeling on my head at the same time to fade away the pain beating of my heart.

Beads of sweat were started to form on my forehead, I also feel my hand shaking a little bit while I couldn't breath properly.

"Wow!" I heard her shouted while clapping her hand.

I couldn't speak. I just watched her looking at me irritatedly now.

"Pretending that you don't know, huh? Don't worry I memorized it all and if you want I can tell it to you right now!" She mocked while looking at me now dangerously. "The way you flirt Darrow while he's into me? Iyong pinipilit mong ipagsiksikan ang sarili mo kahit ayaw niya naman. Even he's just making fun and playing what have you feeling to him but you still continue pushing yourself towards him-"

"Stop!" I cut her, doesn't want to hear more lies from her as I opened my eyes. "Stop it! That's not true!" nanghihina kong tugon habang tinitiis parin ang sakit sa ulo.

Her words really hit me even I'm not sure yet. Bawat salita niya ay parang punyal na unti-unting sumasaksak sa aking dibdib at dinudurog ako nito.

"It's true, and you can't change that fact of your past!You couldn't hide it! You're just pretending because you can't accept what have you done!" she shouted, her voice echoed on my ears.

Napapikit ako, pinipilit na binubuklat at priniproseso sa aking utak kung ano ang nangyayari, pilit kong binablikan ang nakaraan pero ni kahit maliit na detalye ay wala akong masilip doon na kasama si Darrow. She's liar, it wasn't true. I shouldn't believe on her. She's just making a story!

I have never been with Darrow!

I live France! - That's my relatives explained to me!

I opened my eyes to see her through the mirror. "I don't really know Darrow back before and you too. This day was my first interaction with you, so how will I know you and how could I understand what are you saying about when I didn't remember that kind of scenarios in my past?" I forced my self to speak, at least defending myself.

Pinipilit kong makapagsalita kahit pa nahihirapan na ako at hinahabol na ang sariling paghinga. Bolta-boltaheng pawis ang tumutulo sa aking noo na deretso sa lababo. I couldn't even catch my own breath because of various emotions and feelings I couldn't explained and understand!

The fudge!

Sino ba ako?

Sino bang talaga ako?

I shook my head while looking at her serious on the mirror. "So please stop lying-"

"I'm not lying!" she shouted, cutting me off. "We're happy together and if I were you I would just rather to stop myself to come near Darrow again, I would rather to have a distance to Darrow. How could you still eat, sleep and swallow when you know that you have a relationship can destroy." mariin niyang utas, pinapantayan ang seryoso kong tingin sa kaniya sa pamamagitan ng salamin.

"I didn't destroying your relationships. I don't care with the both of you." I quickly said.

"Really?" she smirked, looked so pissed. "Make a wall towards him, then." she then commanded.

I just bowed my head, couldn't get myself to speak. It was easy to do but I couldn't say it, I'm pretty sure that I will gonna make a wall towards his fiance Darrow but I couldn't speak. I know I can but I don't want to. Bolta-boltaheng pawis ay patuloy ang pagbagsak sa aking noo habang hindi parin nawawala ang pagkirot ng aking ulo ngunit halos hindi ko na mapansin ang sakit na nararamdaman doon dahil mas nangingibabaw ang sakit na nararamdaman ko sa aking dibdib.

Naninikip ang aking dibdib.

"Why? You can't?" seryoso niyang tanong nang hindi ako makapagsalita.

Slowly, I lifted up my gaze to see our reflection on the mirror. I caught her staring at me dangerously. I tilted my head to saw how furious she was at me.

"I. Don't. Like. Him." I said, every words have a marked of assurances.

But my words make me more feel the pain on my chest. Mas nanikip ang dibdib ko dahil ayaw sa mga binitawan kong salita para kay Darrow. This feelings was really driving me crazy!

I don't understand myself! I don't understand my feelings! I don't understand my mind! I don't understand my heart! I don't really understand everything what's going on with me!

"Mark your words." saad niya at sinumulang ayusin ang kaniyang bag sa mabilis ng galaw.

When she done, she quickly turned her back to me as she started walking towards the door. Samantalang ako ay seryoso kong pinagmamasdan ang mga hindi maubos-ubos na butil ng pawis na tumutulo sa aking noo na tila naliligo na ako sa aking sariling pawis.

"Don't hope. His family likes me more that other girls." habol niyang saad tila may pagbabanta sa boses niya before she finally shot out the door.

I sighed, having a hard time to catch my breath.

When I didn't finally feel her presence, I then feel my toes and my hand trembling more. I put my two trembling hand on my head because it still aching. I also do the inhale exhale way hoping that the ache I was feels on my head will fade away. Samantalang ang nagwawalng pagtibok ng aking puso ay pilit na pinapakalma kahit hindi magawa. It's still beating with so much pain!

Was she saying the truth? Nagsasabi ba siya ng totoo gaya ng sinasabi ni Darrow? May katotohanan ba ang mga pinagsasabi nila? The shocks, it's really driving me crazy!

I want to cry because of frustration!

Unti-unti ay bumitaw ang aking kamay sa pagkakahawak sa aking ulo upang ituko ko ito sa gilid ng lababo kahit pa ramdam ang panginginig ng braso. Pilit kong pinapakalma ang sarili sa halo-halong sakit na nararamdaman ngunit hindi magawa. I can't help myself.

Tears started to form on my eyes because of so much feelings I was feel that I don't understand. Halos hindi ko na maproseso ang lahat ng pinag-usapan namin ni Zurina. I don't really know what are she talking about, but swear I'm not flirting Darrow. I didn't know if we had a interaction before, but swear we don't have.

Tears then suddenly fell down from my eyes. This various feelings gradually killing me that I don't know where came from.

Who's Darrow in my life?

"Kairra, are you okay?" Sheeme quickly asked when she entered in the cr.

I quickly wipe away the another tears forming on my eyes. Bakas ang pag-aalala sa kaniyang boses dahil sa naabutang posisyon ko.

"Kanina pa kita hinahanap sa baba. Are you okay?" tanong niya muli.

Slowly, I let a silent sigh. "Yeah." tanging tugon ko, medyo nawawala na rin ang pagsakit ng aking ulo, ngunit ang sakit sa aking dibdib ay patuloy.

"Nakasalubong ko si Zurina. You had a interaction with her? Did she talk with you?"

"Kinda." I answered. "I will go now." paalam ko.

"What did she say?" she asked curiously, while tryna look at me in the eye through the mirror.

I shook my head so she couldn't see my eyes with tears "Nothing. Alis na ako."

She sighed silently. "Sabay na ako sayo." tsaka mabilis niyang saad.

Sabay kaming umalis sa cr at dumeretsyo na sa kung nasaan sila Mrs. Mizelle. Sheeme said that Mrs. Mizelle want to talk me first before they finally go. Nagmadali na kami at mabilisan ng dumeretsyo sa kaninang table namin.

I try to pretend like nothing happened between me and Zurina in the comfort room. Naglalakbay parin ang aking utak tungkol sa mga pinagsasabi niya kanina. Hindi ko alam kung saan nanggagaling ang mga salitang iyon ngunit nakakasiguro akong hindi iyon mga totoo.

Then, if it's true why I couldn't remember that I'm with - I'm with Darrow before!

That's words is driving me crazy!

"Sorry Ma'am, for my disappearance." agaran kong paumanhin kay Mrs. Mizelle, tanging sa kaniya lamang tinuon ang atensyon.

"It's okay, it's okay. I just want to thanks before we finally depart." she smiled at me genuinely.

We talked a little bit more about the event before they finally said they goodbye. Hindi ko naman na pinansin pa si Zurina sa tabi ni Mrs. Mizelle, while Darrow, I could still feel his stare on my other side. I noticed it but I didn't mind na lamang.

I just hope he will stop now watching me in front of her fiancee! I don't want to involve to their relationship. I'm just here for a business and nothing more.

To give respect to Mrs. Mizelle sinamahan ko sila sa paibaba para maihatid kahit pa medyo pumipintig pa sa sakit ang aking ulo. I don't know why but I can only do was tryna enduring the pain.

"Thank you Ma'am, promise we will do our best po for this big event." masaya kong saad sa kaniya.

She nodded, still smiling sweetly at me "I already told you earlier, just call me tita. Seems you don't want to call me tita." si Mrs. Mizelle sa malambing paring boses.

Natawa ako sa at napakagat sa labi. "Hindi naman po..."

"Next time I want to hear that word." saad niya bago tuluyang nagpaalam. "Thanks for your efforts to accompany us, hija."

"It's my pleasure po. Thanks for choosing our restaurant."

"We will go now. Take care too, Ms. little de Versa." she said before she then turned to his son. "Darrow, take care. Drive properly you're with Zurina. Take care too Zurina." she said to Darrow as I watched them walking out towards the glass door.

"Yes, tita." Zurina said sweetly.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit may kirot sa puso ko sa ganoong senaryo, watching them and hearing them very close to each other make me feel some hurt inside me.

It's sent a hard bang in me.

It's hurting me again right now. Why I feel some feelings that I shouldn't be!?

Isang malalim na bugtong hininga ang aking pinakawalan upang tuluyang maipagsawalang bahala iyon habang patuloy sa panonood sa pag-alis nila. Mrs. Mizelle and Zurina keep talking happily while I see on Darrow face the traces of irritations.

Seems I always feel something wrong when it comes to him. Why this feeling saying something? Why I felt something I couldn't understand towards Darrow? Why Zurina keep saying about my past with Darrow when I don't even remember any small detail that I'm with him? Why there's a memories showing on my mind but I couldn't clearly see it? Why my head aching when I didn't do anything wrong that could affects on my head? Why my heart beating with pain?

There's so many an unanswered questions playing on my mind?

I'm very desperate to get all the answers! I want an answer at least one with the questions playing on my mind.

I firmly bit my lips as I let out a deep and long sighed once more. I then quickly turned my back to them when I'm done watching them. I'll just go to my small office and get my things there. Siguro'y uuwi na lamang ako.

I still feel some little ache on my head, maybe I will just sleep this so my head will be okay after I take a rest... ngunit sa totoo lamang ang sakit na ito ay hindi ko talaga nararamdaman sa aking ulo kung hindi sa aking dibdib. Parang paulit-ulit na tinutusok ng karayom ang aking dibdib dahilan para sumakit, masugatan, umiyak at paunti-unting nadudurog.

What this feelings?

What means this feeling? Can someone make me understand this sort of feelings? - Because I couldn't understand my own feelings!

Maybe, there's some feelings we could feel but we couldn't understand if what's the matter. There's a feelings that we feel in a sudden but we don't know where it comes from - as what I feel now - as my every heart beats right now.

After arranging my belongings in my small office I went out to head to the counter to say goodbye to my server and Sheeme. Ngunit ang naabutan doon ay ang aking pinsan na malaki ang ngiti.

"Where's the lucky guy, Coz?" she asked quickly, sounds mad but there's a big smile on her lips.

I quickly rolled my eyes to Gem as my answered. I'm not on the mood para sakyan ang kalokohan niya ngayon.

"Coz, I want to meet him." dagdag niya pa, exited. "Where are he? Is he gwapo?"

"Stop that gem." Iritado kong saad.

She pouted in front of me. "If you're not going to say about him I'll find away to know, I'll ask others, instead."

"Do whatever you want, basta stop bothering me." walang gana kong saad.

"Yeah." halakhak niya.

I sighed deeply, doesn't want to mind my cousin. For now I want peace. Gusto kong matahimik ang aking isipan dahil sa mga katanungan na gumugulo dito. Gusto ko ring pakalmahin ang t***k ng puso ko sa halo-halong emosyon.

I want to think nothing, I want to feel my normal heartbeat!

"Kairra, tita Mizelle are already out." deklara ni Sheeme nang makalapit ito sa akin. "Oh, good day, Gem, you're here" bati niya sa pinsan ko.

I just rolled my eyes...

"Good day too, Sheeme." masiglang si Gem. "Are you two talking about Mrs Mizelle Dela Torallez?"

Sheeme just nodded as an answered.

"Hmm, I see. Bye the way Sheeme I wanna ask you something." nakangisi si saad ni Gem.

Hindi ko na sila pinansin. Inayos ko na lamang ang mga gamit kong dapat n ayusin sa counter. My head still aching and I just keep enduring the pain. I really, really want to rest now. I know rest is only I need and this ache will gone.

I sighed deeply - tryna calming my heart beat but I can't. It's still beating on the various emotions that I don't understand. Every rhythms make me feel sad but at the same time happy.

Hayystt, how could I understand this feelings?

"What it is?" I heard Sheeme asked to Gem.

"Who's the man you're talking about that waiting on Kairra here?" kuryosong tanong ng aking pinsan, kunwari'y pabulong ngunit naririnig ko naman.

"Huh?" litong si Sheeme.

I don't know if she's just pretending that she didn't know or she really is not. But I hope she won't tell who's this man. Hindi ko nga rin alam kung sino, eh. Maybe, I'm assuming someone before ngunit ngayon ay alam kong malabong siya nga iyon. He already have fiancee.

"Haystt. Iyong doon sa call. I heard your voice when you called Kairra. Sino iyong lalaking tinutukoy mo?"

"Ahh, it's..." naramdaman kong bumaling sa akin si Sheeme dahil hindi alam kung ano ang idudugtong ngunit hindi na ako nag-angat ng tingin sa kaniya.

I don't care if she would tell or not. I don't have plan to know who's that man.

"... It's nothing." dugtong ni Sheeme sa sinasabi.

Iritadong natawa si Gem sa sagot ni Sheeme. "Ohh come on don't lie at me Sheeme. I just want to know who's that man."

"Swear it's nothing. I was just joking that time." depensa ni Sheeme.

Nag-angat ako ng tingin at bumaling sa kanila. I saw how my cousin looking at me darkly. Masama ang tingin niya sa akin dahil sa hindi nalaman na impormasyon.

She don't need to be curious, isn't important in the end, anyway.

"I'll surely find who's that man." she rolled her eyes directed at me.

Iritado siyang naupo sa counter at mabilis na nagpakuha ng wine, iritado akong pinapanood. Wala akong magawa kung hindi simangutan na lamang siya. I turned to Sheeme and she smiled at me while arching her eyebrows. I just pouted at her.

Naghari ang natahimik sa amin na tila ba pinapakiramdaman nila ang bawat isa. I didn't mind them and just continue arranging my things. When I'm almost done I heard Gem speaking, sounds still so irritated.

"You two, you think you could keep it to me, huh?" she murmured.

"Gem, swear it's nothing. I'm just joking." si Sheeme na sinasabayan na ang pag-inom ng aking pinsan.

Why this two woman drinking? Seriously? And Sheeme, she's on her duty! How dare her!

"Oh Darrow! You're here again? To take you luch?" narinig kong tanong ng aking pinsan na si Gem sa kakarating na si... Darrow.

Wait - Darrow? He's still here? He's here again?

I quickly turned on my back and saw that he's here talaga. For real! Nandito agad siya? Hindi ba ay kasama niya ang fiance niya? Ihahatid niya ito, then why he's right now?

Gulat man sa pagdating niya ngunit pinakunot ko ang aking noo at pilit na sinimangot ang mukha na tila iritado kung bakit narito siya muli kahit hindi naman iyon ang talagang nararamdaman ko. My heart jumping with happiness right now - it's because of him.

"Yeah." tipid na sagot ni Darrow kay Gem, nasa akin na agad ang kaniyang mga mata.

I quickly bowed my head.

"His already here kanina pa Gem, busy kalang about sa lalaking dumadalaw dito kay Kairra." saad naman ni Sheeme dahilan para mapabaling ako sa kanila.

Ang dapat salitang sasabihin ko sa kaniya ay hindi ko na nabigkas pa ng sumalubong sa akin ang seryosong mga mata ni Darrow. His eyes darted at me. I can't read it but I felt the anger.

So... he's not the man that Sheeme talking about who's missing me? Hindi siya ang dumadalaw sa akin dito? How such I am thinking that he is!?

Yeah, I already knew it. He already have finance.

Nagtagal ng ilang sigundo ang mata ko sa kaniya, bahagyan nakipagtitigan sa mga mata habang unti-unti kong nararamdaman ang papalakas na pagtibok ng aking puso sa sakit. I don't know why I feel a sting inside me right now! I don't know where's this sting comes from! Seems like it was an old sting from - my past.

Napabuga ako ng hanging ng wala sa oras at pilit itong binaliwala upang humanap ng mga tamang salita to say goodbye to Sheeme.

"Sheeme, I'm done for today. Ikaw na muna ang bahala, Just close the restaurant early and please take care." saad ko at mabilis ng tinapos ang pag-aayos ng aking gamit.

"Huh, why?" takang si Sheeme.

Matamlay ko siyang nginitian. "I'm not feeling well."

"Why coz?" Gem asked quickly then turned to me. "Are you sick? You're not mainit naman." taka niyang utas matapos dampian ng palad niya ang aking noo.

"My head aching-"

"What!?" Gem eyes widened, so shocked because of what I said. "I mean... kaylan pa? Why you didn't tell to me? My good Kairra, let's go to the hospital!" natataranta niyang saad.

Napangiwi ako sa reaksyo niya. "Gem, don't over acting, it's just a mild headache. Maybe I should sleep this na lamang instead." malumanay ko paring saad to stop her over acting.

"No! We need to go to hospital-"

I cut her quickly. "Coz, please I need to rest."

"Wag makulit Kairra. Let's go-"

"Gem, I just need rest." mariin kong saad. "I'm tired, I'll go now."

"I can drive you." offer n'ya pa.

Gusto kong sabihin na 'I have driver naman na' ngunit tinamad ng magsalita, sahalip ay umiling na lamang ako. But before I finally turned my back to them I saw Darrow face seemed he's worried of what - worried about me? I don't want to assume but I couldn't stop either, because his reaction that seemed he wants to ask me something but he's holding back himself.

"Saan ka dederetsyo?" tanong pa ni Gem na nakuha muli ang aking atensyon.

Hindi ko na sinagot si Gem at nagsimula na lamang sa paglalakad patalikod sa kanila. Pinilit kong humakbang kahit pa medyo nanginginig ang aking tuhod dahil sa seryosong pares ng matang nanonood sa akin.

"Kuya Aldwin's house?"Gem asked more kahit pa medyo malayo na ako sa kanila na naglalakad.

Umiling ako sa kaniya kahit pa nakatalikod na ako and I know she got what I mean. I will go home now in our house. I want to be alone to get a peaceful rest.

Maybe, all of us want to be alone - sometimes just to feel and understand our feelings more.

Tulala ako sa buong byahe pauwi sa mansyon while my heart started to beat sadly again. Maybe, I need to get used to this feelings - but I really, really want to know where it comes from.

I'm desperate to answer all my questions! I'm desperate to know what they saying about - about my past! I'm desperate to know what's the meaning of my feelings! I'm desperate to know about the scenarios showing up on my mind!

I want to cry because of desperation!

Nang makarating ako sa mansyon ay dumeretsyo na sa aking silid at binagsak ang katawan sa kama kahit hindi pa nakakapagpalit. I closed my eyes thinking something deeply while catching my breath when I heard my phone beep.

Tamad ko itong kinuha upang mabasa kung sino man ang nagpadala ng mensahe kahit alam kong si Gem iyon.

Gem:

You sure you're okay?

Gem:

I'm on my way. Pupuntahan kita. When you're not really feeling well please let's go to the hospital. Is your head still aching?

I quickly type my reply so she won't worried about me that much.

Ako:

If you've plan today tumuloy ka na. I'm okay. Don't worry about me, I just need some rest.

I sighed deeply. Ibababa na sana ang aking selpon ngunit may dalawang magkasunod na mensahe ang muling pumasok.

Nakapikit muna ako at napabuga ng hangin bago ito binuksan. I thought it was Gem again but I was wrong. The first message was from Sheeme and the other one was from unknown number. I open Sheeme message first.

Sheeme:

Hope you okay. Take a long rest for now, we're okay here.

I don't know if I will going to open the unknown number but my hand open it slowly.

Unknown:

Are you okay? I'm worried.

Pagkabasa ng mensaheng iyon ay naramdaman kong kusang bumilis at lumakas ang pintig ng aking puso na kanina ay tahimik. I slowly put my hand on my chest and feel the fast and strong beat of my heart.

This is it again! I don't know where this feelings came from - but I really, really like this feeling even if it's strange for me.

This feelings make feel the happiness... silently. This feelings make my heart smile genuinely.

One thing I know - this feeling isn't fake, it was more truer that I think.

Nagising ako ng maaga kinabukasan, it's around four in the morning. Ramdam ko na ang pagkalam ng aking sikmura sa gutom dahil hindi pa ako kumakain ng gabihan. Ang pagtulog ko kahapon ng tanghali ay deretso na at ngayon lamang ako nagising that's why I feel myself full of energy for this day. I remember yesterday that I didn't reply to the unknown number that sent a message from me.

Why should I reply? I don't know who is it!

Bumaba ako para dumeretsyo na sa kusina para maibsan ang aking gutom. Tahimik ang buong kabahayan at tanging mga yapak ko lamang ang aking naririnig. I'm glad also because my head isn't on pain anymore. Thanks, because I could move now properly not like yesterday that I could only closed my eyes because of the pain I was feeling on my head. Yesterday, I just lie on my bed until I fall asleep.

I cooked my own favorite breakfast for a minutes. It's too quiet here in the dining area while I'm eating that's why I quickly heard some footsteps, maybe that's our maid. Hindi nga ako nagkamali dahil siya ang mayodrama na namumuno dito sa buong bahay noong wala ako dito.

Napaatras siya nang makita ako, tila nagulat sa aking presensya.

"Ano kaba hija, ako'y ginugulat mo." utas niya habang hawak ang kaniyang dibdib. "Dapat ay ginising mo na lamang ako o ang ibang kasambahay para ipaghanda ka."

"It's okay po, nana. I can cook on my own naman po." ngumiti ako sa kaniya.

"Abay hindi ka pa rin nagbabago. Kahit noong high school ka ay gusto mo laging ikaw ang magsilbi sa sarili mo." she then said while smiling at me widely seems reminiscing the past.

I scowled. "Po, Nana?" taka kong tanong.

Mabilis na bumaling si nana Mirna sa akin dahil sa tanong ko. "Ah, eh, wala iyon, hija. Ang ibig kong sabihin ay ipagpatuloy mo na ang pagkain mo." ngiti niya pa sa akin.

Kunot man ang noo dahil kay nana Mirna ay nagaptuloy na lamang ako. I don't remember that time beecause my relatives keep saying that we live in France. Nana Mirna was familiar on me, though I couldn't recognize her clearly but I'm sure she's the one who took care of me way back when I'm still a little girl pa. I saw our pictures when I'm still kid. The picture captured here, on the swimming pool area.

Though, I can't also remember clearly that I lived in France with my relatives once mom and dad died here when I'm still kid, I remember naman that I studied there and I graduated in business management field. Then I came back here for our properties because no one will take care of it.

I memorized that scenario of my life already - but why I couldn't remember the scenarios when I'm in high school? High school was the memorable school years but why I couldn't find it on my mind? Tsk, I really don't know! Maybe my high school isn't that memorable.

But, really the thing here is that my doctor gave me a paper that says I get traumatized when I'm young, when my parents both died, and it's caused me to easily forget some things, commonly when they're already part of my teens. Kaya hindi ko maalala ang mga sinasabi ni Nana, dahil apektado rin dito ang utak ko na ngayon ay madaling makalimot. That's what my relatives and my doctor explained to me.

Hindi ko malaman kung bakit ganoon at kung saan nanggagaling ang sinasabi ni nana Mirna, nagpatuloy na lamang ako sa pagkain at hindi iyon inintindi pa dahil kumikirot nanaman ang aking ulo. Again, for a hundred times, I. Don't. Know. Why!