My Sexy Awakening

Self discovery journey

My neighbor’s words were annoyingly accurate. He was absolutely right: I was indeed sexually frustrated. I have never been with a man concerned with my needs. And then, I started to spill everything over. It was just like there was direct uninterrupted communication between my brain and my tongue. I began to express everything that was in my mind, even these obscure thoughts I never told anyone, not even Amanda and Mariana. 

-You are not going to leave it there, are you? I asked

-Not, I am not. I want to know, and I know you want to tell me. But before you share all your dirty secrets with me, we need to introduce ourselves properly. I am Paul, your friendly neighbor. Nice to meet you. I am 31 years old; I work in the telecommunication sector, but I also have some investments in the real estate area. I am married to my job, but I enjoy female company very much, as you already know. Let’s say it is my hobby to please women, to help them explore their sensuality. To see them blossom. 

-How can you help women blossom if you only have one-night stands? I said.

-I will answer your question, but first, you have to introduce yourself properly.

-OK then. My name is Andrea; I am 26 years old. I am a journalist, but I also work on writing and editing, primarily free-lance. I do not have any hobbies, but I enjoy traveling and reading novels. 

-Nice to meet you, Andrea. You seem like a fascinating woman. You are witty; you also have a sharp tongue and brains. Intriguing combination. To answer your question, when I help women achieve pleasure for the first time or get the most pleasure they ever got in their lives, it is an eye-opening experience for them. When I see them again, not as s****l partners but as friends or acquaintances, they generally end up thanking me for helping them discover a part that was concealed. So, let me know, Andrea, when was the last time you had s*x?

-Not that it is any of your business, but three months ago.

-Three months is a very long time for a woman in her prime. Who was the lucky guy?

-My cheating ex.

-Asshole. I hate cheaters.

-Me too. I found him having s*x in the bedroom we shared, and afterward, I discovered he had been cheating for a while, practicing the art of one-night stands with random women. Can you believe it?  

-I bet he regrets it. You seem like a catch, Andrea.

-My ex has been calling and texting every day since this happened. He says he regrets it, that he is deeply in love with me, and that because I am so pure and innocent (quote and quote), he felt like he could not ask me to do all the kinky things he likes.

-Oh my, what a tool. Your ex is even more idiotic than I thought. It is just the opposite of what he said. Because you are pure and innocent, to use the asshole’s words, you should be encouraged to discover your sensuality and connect with your kinky side. So, how many s****l partners did you have? 

-I know it is pathetic, OK? Please do not make fun of me. But he was the only s****l partner I ever had. 

-Let me be clear, Andrea, I would never make fun of you. I am grateful that you are sharing your life experiences with me. Your trust is a privilege that I take very seriously. Did you love him? 

-I don’t think so. Perhaps I loved him at first, but not now. I gave him my v-card because he insisted, and I thought it was the right thing to do after we dated for months, and he was there for me in times of distress. I felt lonely, and I did not want to be alone. I met him soon after my father passed away. He was very kind, and I must recognize that he tried to comfort me. My sister Mariana also had difficulty processing our father’s death, and I didn’t want to make her sadder with my pain. So, I only had my best friend Amanda to talk to, but at the time, she was struggling to pay her debts, so she was mainly working crazy hours nonstop. So, I felt that Ethan, my ex, was the only one around.

-Thank you for being so open with me, Andrea. I bet it is not easy for you to talk about all this.

-Thank you for listening, Paul. I do not know why I am telling you all this. But for some weird reason, I feel like I can trust you, and I need to let all this out. Anyways, I have minimal s****l experience. And you are right…

-About what?

-About saying that I have never been with a man concerned with my pleasure. It is crazy how Ethan could be so generous with his time and attention at the beginning of our relationship when I was grieving. Still, afterward, he became increasingly self-centered and selfish, inside and outside the bedroom. Frankly, our s*x life was, from the outset, about his needs. Because he was, according to his own opinion, so experienced in the bedroom department, I always assumed that it was supposed to be that way. s*x was boring, mechanical, never adventurous. It was a kind of collection of missionary quickies. That’s why I was so shocked when I found him f*****g another woman in the ass, excuse my French. He never even touched me there! After we broke up, we met once, and he said that he always liked (quote and quote) kinky s*x but did not feel he could share his tastes with me. He even called me “a frigid woman,” and although it pains me to confess it, I think he is right because I never had an orgasm, so I…

-Andrea. I am so sorry to interrupt, but I have to say a few things loud and clear. First, you must give yourself some credit. Please do not blame yourself for his lack of concern for your feelings and needs. That´s his shortcoming, not yours. Second, taking someone’s virginity comes with great responsibility, especially when you are more experienced. Your partner was supposed to worship your body, to explore every inch of it, to discover what pleases you, what turns you on and off. If he is not willing to take his time with you, he is a selfish sucker, and it is not weird that you have never been able to orgasm during s*x. But tell me, Andrea, what happens when you touch yourself?... Andrea … Are you there?

-Yes, sorry, I am here. This is embarrassing, you know, I am not used to talking about all these things, much less with a stranger.    

-I hope this is about to change, Andrea. From now on, we are not strangers anymore. We are, paradoxically, bound together by a fence, and I am starting to feel grateful about that. So, you were about to tell me what happens when you touch yourself… 

-I never do. I mean, I tried to do it a few times, but it feels weird. I don’t know. It doesn’t feel fitting or enjoyable.

-Well, dear Andrea, this also needs to change. If you do not know your own body, it is pretty unlikely you will learn what you want. We already know you get off listening, so I bet you would also love dirty talking. But let me emphasize how important it is to explore your body to unleash your own pleasure. I think I can help you in a self-discovery journey if you allow me to.  

-Thanks, Paul, but I am not a one-night stand kind of woman, and for me, s*x is the result of a relationship, not the starting point. I will not jump over the fence for a wham bang, thank you mum type of thing so that you can toss me away an hour later. Gosh, that sounded harsher than I intended. What I mean is that I will never have s*x with someone I do not care about. I need feelings to be involved. s*x by itself is not for me. 

-I know, Andrea. I know. I mean, I do not think you are a casual s*x type of woman. And even if you were up for a one-night stand, I would never toss you away, even if I am not looking for a committed relationship. But what I am proposing is to support you during your self-discovery journey, to help you find your needs and wants. To explore your sensuality and learn about your body. I won’t touch you unless you explicitly ask me to. What do you say? 

-OK, Paul. Let’s give it a try.

-Very well. This is going to be so much fun. Meet me tomorrow on your side of the fence, at 7 pm. 

Sweet baby Jesus. What am I getting myself into...