The idol's secret

Chapter 2 Unspoken secret

Rafayel's POV

The black Porsche was warm inside. The leather seats creaked when Cecilion slid into the passenger side, and I watched him settle in, watched him run his hands over the leather, watched the way he looked around the cabin with quiet curiosity.

"Get in. I'll turn the AC up."

I closed the door gently—gentler than I closed anything else in my life—and walked around the hood. From the driver's seat, I could see his profile, the soft curve of his nose, the way his lashes cast shadows on his cheeks. He looked like something out of a painting. Something I had no business looking at.

The engine purred to life. I pulled out of the lot, one hand on the wheel, the other resting on the center console. Close enough that if he reached out, our fingers would touch.

*Don't think about it.*

"Anything from the coffee stand on the way?" I asked, drumming my fingers on the wheel. "I'm grabbing an iced latte."

He humming "Iced latte sounds good."

I smirked. I knew. I'd known he'd say yes. I signaled to turn into the drive-through, and when I shifted in my seat, my arm brushed his shoulder. Just a graze. Just a second. But I felt it everywhere—a current running up my arm, settling in my chest.

"Extra sugar, right?" I kept my voice steady. "Remembered you saying you liked it sweet last time we grabbed drinks here."

His cheeks flushed pink. The sight of it made my stomach flip. "You remembered that. Yes, please."

*I remember everything about you, Cecilion. I wish I didn't. I wish I could forget the way you say my name. I wish I could forget the sound of your laugh. I wish I could forget the dream.*

I ordered at the speaker, leaning across him to tap my card on the reader before he could reach for his wallet. Our chests almost touched. The scent of cherry lip balm was stronger up close, and my breath caught for half a second before I pulled back.

"My treat. I asked, so I pay."

"Raf-"

I grabbed the drinks from the window and passed the iced latte to him. Our fingers brushed. "thanks..." He whispers, his skin was warm. Soft. I felt the contact like a brand, and I pulled my hand back faster than I meant to, focusing on the road, the traffic, anything that wasn't the way his mouth wrapped around the straw.

The radio played something soft. I turned it up a little, giving us both something to listen to besides the silence and the unspoken weight between us.

i pulled into the studio lot and killed the engine. The sun was higher now, beginning to bake the asphalt. Through the windshield, the glass front of the studio gleamed like a mirage.

"You're going on tour," Rafayel said. i kept my eyes fixed on the steering wheel.

"Next month. Just a small circuit. The coast, mostly."

"People are going to be all over you." It came out darker than i intended. Possessive. i saw Cecilion flinch slightly, my grip tightening on my coffee, his reaction makes my heart aches.

"It's part of the job, I suppose," Cecilion said softly.

I finally turned my head. The light was hitting Cecilion's face, illuminating the fine texture of his skin, the slight dampness of his lower lip where the balm had settled. He looked fragile. He looked like something the world would try to break just to see the colors inside.

"Don't let them," Rafayel said.

"Let them what?"

"Anything. Don't let them get close. People... they say things. They think they own what they see on a stage." He thought of the locker room. The ugly, jagged words his teammates had used. He felt the phantom sting in his knuckles again. "Just be careful."

i reached out, my hand hovering near Cecilion’s face before i caught myself and diverted the motion to the door handle.

"Text me when you're done. I'll pick you up."

"Raf, you have practice—"

"I'll be here, Cecilion. Just text me."

I watched him unbuckle his seatbelt. Watched him gather his bag.

I sat there for a long time. My hands were still on the steering wheel. My heart was still pounding.

I watched him go. I watched until the glass doors swallowed the boy whole. Then, he put the car in gear and drove, but i didn't go back to campus. I drove until i reached the coast road, pushing the Porsche until the engine screamed, trying to outrun the scent of cherry that refused to leave the car.

Fuck

---

Two hours later, his phone buzzed in the center console.

Cecilion:I think I forgot my lip balm in your car

My breath caught. I reached into the passenger seat, and there it was—the small cherry tube, warm from the sun, the scent of his lips still clinging to it.

I lifted it to my nose. Just once. Just a breath.

Then I typed back, my thumb moving faster than my brain.

Me: i'll bring it up to you. Got nothing better to do anyway.

---

I found him by the back entrance, leaning against the brick wall in his stage makeup, his hair still styled from the shoot. He looked like he belonged on a magazine cover. He looked like something I had no right to want.

But I wanted. God, I wanted.

"Figured you couldn't go the whole day without it," I said, pulling the lip balm from my hoodie pocket. "Here."

His hand closed around it. His fingers brushed mine. "Thank you. I'm glad it was with you." A pause. "I thought it was gone."

My mouth curved. I shoved my hands into my pockets to keep from reaching out. "Lucky I noticed it before I drove off." The air between us was warm, carrying his scent straight to me. I swallowed. "Can't have you losing your favorite thing, right?"

He looked up at me. The afternoon light caught his eyes, caught the faint flush on his cheeks, caught the way his lips parted slightly, like he was about to say something.

He didn't.

Neither did I.

We stood there, the silence stretching, the unspoken passing between us like a current. And I thought about the dream. Thought about the way his voice sounded in the dark. Thought about the way his hand would feel in mine, if I just reached out.

I didn't.

"See you around," I said instead.

And I walked back to my car, the scent of cherry still on my fingers, the taste of something impossible still on my tongue.