I called Elena the first week of December.
"I want to put the proceedings on hold," I said. "Formally. Not withdrawn, but paused."
A brief silence. "That's your right," she said. "Are you sure?"
"No," I said. "But it's what I want to do."
"Okay," she said. "I'll file the pause. You can resume at any point."
"Thank you."
"Naomi." A pause. "For what it's worth, I've seen a lot of these situations. What matters is not the decision you make but whether you make it free."
"I think I am," I said.
"Then that's enough," she said.
I called Marcus.
"I've paused the proceedings," I said. "Not withdrawn. Paused. I want to try, Marcus. But I need to be honest about what trying means."
He was very quiet on the other end.
"It means I'm not moving forward with the divorce right now," I said. "
