Pressure
1109 Words
(Clara)
By the time I got home that evening, my brain felt like it had been squeezed dry.
The first in-course test results had followed me around all day like a shadow. Everywhere I turned, someone was talking about rankings, scores, percentages, who moved up, who slipped down.
It was exhausting.
I dropped my bag beside the couch and kicked off my shoes with a tired groan.
“Anna?” I called out.
“In the kitchen trying not to burn your dinner!” she shouted back.
I smiled despite myself and walked toward the kitchen.
Anna stood over the stove in oversized shorts and one of my old shirts, wooden spoon in hand while music blasted softly from her phone on the counter.
“You cook now?” I asked, leaning against the doorway.
She gasped dramatically. “Excuse you. I’ve always cooked.”
“You almost poisoned me with pasta last month.”
“That was one time,” she defended. “And honestly, your stomach survived. Be grateful.”
I laughed quietly and moved beside her, stealing a piece of chicken from the pan before she slapped my hand away.
“Rude,” she muttered.
“You love me.”
“Unfortunately.”
She glanced at me properly then, her teasing expression softening slightly.
“You look tired.”
“I am tired.”
“How bad?”
I sighed and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.
“I got my results today.”
Anna immediately straightened. “And?”
“Seventh.”
Her face lit up instantly. “Clara, that’s amazing!”
I gave her a small shrug. “I guess.”
Anna narrowed her eyes immediately. “No. Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“That thing where you act like your achievements don’t count because they aren’t perfect.”
I looked away, twisting the bottle cap between my fingers.
“It’s not perfect though.”
“It’s med school, not the Olympics,” she replied. “You’re literally in the top ten.”
I leaned back against the counter, exhaling slowly.
“My dad won’t care about that.”
The kitchen became quieter after that.
Anna’s expression shifted instantly.
And there it was.
The thing I hated most.
Pity.
“He still doing the whole ‘Stone family excellence’ thing?” she asked carefully.
I laughed humorlessly. “When has he ever stopped?”
Anna cursed under her breath.
Growing up, my father had never accepted average.
Not in our family.
Not in academics.
Not in anything.
Being good wasn’t enough unless you were the best.
My older brother ranked first throughout medical school. My father loved telling that story at every family gathering like it was some legendary achievement engraved into history.
And now there was me.
Always almost there.
Always close.
Never first.
“He’s going to ask about the rankings during our next call,” I muttered.
“And?” Anna asked.
“And I already know the look he’s going to have.”
“He’s on the phone, Clara.”
“You know what I mean.”
I rubbed my forehead tiredly.
It sounded ridiculous saying it out loud, but disappointment from my father had always felt physical somehow. Like it sat on your chest and made breathing harder.
Anna turned off the stove and walked toward me.
“You know something?” she said.
“What?”
“I think you’ve spent your whole life trying to earn approval from people who should’ve given it to you freely.”
I blinked slightly.
Anna rarely got serious.
Which was exactly why her words hit harder when she did.
“You don’t understand,” I said quietly. “My family doesn’t work like that.”
“That’s the problem.”
I looked down at the floor.
Maybe she was right.
But knowing that didn’t magically make the pressure disappear.
My phone buzzed suddenly against the counter.
I glanced at the screen.
Dad.
My stomach dropped immediately.
Anna saw my face and grimaced.
“Oh no.”
I stared at the phone for a second before answering.
“Hi Dad.”
“Clara.”
His voice was calm and controlled as always.
“How are classes?”
“Good.”
“And your first test?”
Straight to it.
Of course.
I swallowed slightly. “I ranked seventh.”
A brief silence followed.
Not long.
But long enough.
“Seventh,” he repeated.
“Yes.”
Another pause.
“You can do better than that.”
The words landed exactly where I knew they would.
I stared blankly at the kitchen wall.
“I’m trying,” I replied quietly.
“Trying is expected,” he said. “Excellence is what matters.”
Anna rolled her eyes so hard beside me that I almost laughed.
“I know,” I murmured.
“You need to focus,” he continued. “There are students there who have been preparing for this their entire lives. If you fall behind now, catching up becomes harder.”
Something inside me tightened.
Because I knew he wasn’t trying to hurt me.
That was the worst part.
To him, this was motivation.
Pressure created diamonds.
At least that was what he always said.
“Yes, Dad.”
“I expect improvement next time.”
And just like that, the call ended.
I lowered the phone slowly.
Anna stared at me in disbelief.
“That’s it?” she asked. “No congratulations? No ‘I’m proud of you’?”
I forced a small smile. “That is his version.”
“That’s insane.”
I shrugged weakly even though my chest hurt a little.
“It’s normal for me.”
“That doesn’t make it okay.”
I looked away before she could see too much on my face.
Because the truth was…
A small part of me had hoped this time would be different.
That maybe seventh would finally be enough.
But it wasn’t.
It never was.
Anna walked closer and grabbed my shoulders gently.
“Listen to me carefully,” she said firmly. “You are not failing.”
I laughed quietly. “Feels like I am.”
“You’re surviving one of the hardest programs in the country while competing with literal academic robots. You’re doing fine.”
I looked at her.
Really looked at her.
And suddenly, my chest felt lighter.
Just a little.
“I hate when you make sense,” I muttered.
She grinned immediately. “I’m hot and wise. It’s a burden.”
That made me laugh for real.
And somehow…
I needed that more than I realized.
- Writer
