The Spirit Seer

Chapter 15

I'm in my room trying to study. I really am, but I can't stop thinking about Heath and what this new information means. Do I really want to involve myself with someone who gets into fights? It had to be a pretty bad fight too, if he got a bruised rib out of it.

I don't know if I'm up for dealing with all that. And I'm beginning to wonder if it's even worth it. I think I may have gotten in way over my head. It might be smart to get out now before I get in too deep, but I'm afraid that it may be too late for that.

I like Heath, well the Heath that I've been getting to know. He was so sweet about my mom. He genuinely seemed like the best guy but now that I know that he can be violent it scares me.

"Hey," Spencer says appearing out of nowhere.

I jump, scared out of my freaking mind. "What have I told you about just popping up out of nowhere? Geez...one of these days I'm gonna be naked or something."

He looks me up and down. It sets my nerves on end. "You know that threat’s not nearly as scary as you think it is."

I open my mouth and close it again. I think that was a compliment, but it made me feel a little weird. He is attractive and in another world he could be my type. He's a ghost though. That is just wrong.

Avoidance is my friend. "So, what are you doing here anyway?"

"I wanted to see if you've made any progress with my brother."

Yeah, I progressed to the point that I don't think we can be around each other anymore. Is that what you meant? I ask silently.

"Your brother showed up to our study session with a bruised rib today."

A closed expression crosses his face. "How did he say he got it?"

That’s a pretty weird reaction. He didn’t ask what happened, but more like what Heath had said happened. Why would he phrase it like that?

"He said he got into a fight. I don't think I can deal with this. I can't be around a violent guy who ends up with bruised ribs. I just don't think it's for me."

"I'm sure it's not the way it sounds. Heath isn't that kind of guy. If he was in a fight, then I'm sure he has a reason."

"That may be, but I can't do this. I agreed to help you, but not to get involved in all this craziness. I just can't handle it. I'm sorry."

"But you're my only hope. He's finally starting to trust you. Please don't walk away when you're so close."

Who knew it would be this hard? But I just can't do it. I'm way more torn than I thought I would be. I have grown attached to Spencer and I was looking forward to getting to know Heath better. "I'm sorry," I say again.

"You don't understand. He isn't like that. If you could just see what he's really like. He changed once I died. But that's not who he really is, if you spend more time with him, you will see."

I want to believe that. I want to keep getting to know them both honestly but the version of Heath I saw today scares me.

I shake my head. I wish I could help, but I just can't. I need to leave, to get away from him. If I stay he might convince me to change my mind.

I turn and walk toward the door. "Wait." He says as he tries to grab my arm to stop me. But he's a ghost, and his hand goes through me. It's not the first time a ghost has gone through me before. It happens often in fact. I live with a bunch of them in my house. I can't always avoid them. So yeah, it's not a new experience. Usually, you just feel chilled wherever the ghost is touching you.

This is different though. My hand does feel chilled, but then suddenly I'm not in my room anymore. I'm in a yard of some sort. I try to look around, but I'm not in control of my body. My head turns, and I see Heath. He doesn't look like himself. He looks younger and he isn't wearing black. He has on old blue jeans and a faded red shirt. It has a baseball on it. It feels so weird to see him like that.

He doesn't look at me. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for that to happen." He finally says.

I try to ask him what he's talking about but what comes out of my mouth is something else entirely. "I know you didn't. It's fine."

Why do I sound like Spencer? What the heck is going on? It's like I'm in his body reliving one of his memories or something. This is so strange.

Finally, Heath turns his head and looks at ...me? "I thought...I thought he was going to-" His voice cracks and he can't continue.

I want to hug him and make him feel better. This kid sitting in front of me is so different from the tough gruff guy that I know now.

Once again "I?" talk. "I know, it's fine, I'm fine."

Heath looks up at the sky and then glances back. “What if he had...man, I don't know what I would do without you."

It breaks my heart when he says that. He looks so lost and vulnerable. "That's not an issue. I'm fine."

"I know, but it was so bad this time. What if you weren't fine? I don't know what I'd do. If either of us dies, maybe we should send each other a sign. Something so we know that the others okay. Just so…you know we don’t worry." He really looks scared to death.

Spencer/me must be able to see it too because he says, “You got it kid." and then ruffles Heath's hair.

I open my eyes and pull my hand away. I suck in a breath out of shock. I look at the ghost in front of me. "What the hell was that?"

He shakes his head. "I don't know." I believe him. He looks as shaken up as I feel.

"Was that your memory?"

"Yeah, from about a year before I died."

"How did that happen?"

"I don't know, that has never happened to me before. That was the memory that I wished you could see so you would understand who Heath really is."

The truth is Heath had been so different in that memory. He was sweet and innocent. If it was four years ago that would have made him about twelve. He was just a little kid.

"He was different before I died. He was sweet, and he smiled a lot and he was shy. But then I died, and he had to grow up. Maybe he's a little rough around the edges, but I know that the little kid from that memory is still in there somewhere."

I know I made up my mind and I should stick to my decision. But that little boy was different, and I can't help but feel for him. I want to walk away, but if that little kid is still in there somewhere, how can I turn my back on him?

I don't know what caused it but he was scared to death. The fear and innocence of that boy in my vision touched my heart. I don't think I can turn away now.

"I don't know what that was, but it worked. I'm going to give him another chance. But if he does something like that again, I have to walk away."

"Deal"

It’s entirely possible that I’m making a mistake, but I feel like I have to take this chance. For Spencer the ghost I’ve gotten attached to, and for that little boy who was terrified at the thought of his brother dying, and the Heath now.

From that memory, it seemed like Heath's worst fear was losing Spencer and that’s what happened only a year later. That had to be hard. That had to affect him. I have to be conscious of that.

I struggle to reconcile that scared kid with the Heath that was here in my room just days ago. He was so kind but quiet. What happened to change him from that little kid? Was it just his brother’s death or was there more to it?

I don’t want to give up on Heath and believe he’s a lost cause. I want him to prove me wrong and be worth all this. But I’m also scared that I care that much. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I wasn’t supposed to get so attached.