Let's Do Better Ghouls! (Extra Readings: Helpful tips on self improvement.)

Family counseling: Part one.

f*******: Friend: “If you keep this up, I can make your friends gossip about you. You should get over it. What my friend was trying to say the reason nobody asked you because not everyone is interested in your books and drawings. I love you but judging people for not wanting to read your books is not cool. Keep your attention seeking posts to yourself. We don’t want to hear it.”

Two days later:

Mediator: “Good morning everyone. Thank you so much for joining in our session. I will like to keep this intervention brief. There has been complaints on social media along with the family household from few people talking about some type of conflicting issues between herself, friends, her in laws, and her significant other. I want to hear all of your stories. I need to know what truly caused it. Ma’am, will you please share your story first?”

Wife: “Yeah, I feel like an outcast because I feel like I wasn’t getting enough support on my artwork and my books. At first, I thought okay everyone is just busy with their own lives and my husband is just taking care of things first so I can’t be mad about it. So I’ve been oversharing all of my books to messenger, f*******: hashtags, second f*******: account, and all of my other social media accounts hoping to get more readers and supporters. I started to notice that my husband is not caring enough about my books and artwork. I seen what he does on his free time after we get off work like every time I try to show him something cool, wanting his affection, or try to tell him something, I feel ignored that he doesn’t care enough about me but only putting his attention on helping his family and friends all the time. I’m thinking okay I don’t understand why he always ignore me? So that’s my concern and this is how I feel.”

Mediator: “Alright. Thank you for sharing. Brother, will you please share?”

Brother in law: “Yes. She rudely interrupted and started spamming everyone her website link of her books and art websites. She also left out the part where she thought it was a wise decision to intervene during our conversations with our father and expressed her concerns in a hostile manner about her wanting to move out and complaining about not getting any attention from her man. After I decided to come into their room to ask him few questions about our games, she thought it was a good idea to put in her 2 cents in our conversations that had nothing to do with her. My family and I were just really frustrated at this point.”

Mediator: “Thank you for sharing. So ma’am, that’s not appropriate way to approach between your husband and his family into conversations that you were not invited to. So I understand correctly. I am assuming these conversations are about games and finances that you guys were trying to sort out, correct?”

Husband: “That’s correct.”

Mediator: “Thank you. So ma’am, your husband is a busy man. Families and friends are very busy with their own lives. Your husband is technically the head of the house until you guys move out. He doesn’t have a lot of time during the day to spend time with you while he’s got number of tasks going on with his own time. I think that’s probably why he’s trying his best to balance everything. It seems like your friends, family, and your husband has not done anything wrong to you. This leaves me no choice but to have you temporarily banned from their group chats. I don’t see any evidence of him purposely ignoring you while you were violating household rules and overstepping boundaries.”

Wife: “Your joking right? That’s not right. I don’t understand why this escalated so quick.”

Brother in law: “If I may interject, it’s possible why things escalated because you are self centered and crazy at the same time.”

Wife: “Excuse me? I’m self centered and crazy? You guys are the ones who are trying to take my husband’s attention away from me and judging from your laziness, you always expect people to clean up all of your messes and pay everything for you all the time.”

Brother: “Oh my god… for crying out loud. Nobody wants your husband! Nobody is here to mooch for your guys money! Nobody is trying to keep your man away from you! We don’t expect anything from you guys! I promise you, okay? Jeez woman!”

Husband: “Okay, guys enough. Honey, I understand how you feel but this wasn’t my decision to ban you from the group chats, it’s the family and friends who voted for the agreement for temporary ban. I told you from the beginning that family tasks while trying to balance everything with you in the household is always difficult. Honey, we will talk about it more on the drive to town to get lunch together.”

*brother laughing*

Wife: “Why are you laughing?”

Brother: “The reason I’m laughing because he agrees that you are self centered and you’re crazy.”

Wife: “I don’t know what to say to you.”

Brother: “Well miss, you guys will have a lot of time on your way to lunch together to start looking for apartments or some places to stay.”

Wife: “Your a jerk.”

Mediator: “Okay, let’s not continue name calling or take things too personal. Keep it clean guys. Ma’am, I hope you can come into terms to take consideration of others. I’m assuming that you and your husband will discuss more about it on the drive to lunch. Anyway, I have another family intervention to attend to in a few minutes. If you have questions or concerns, contact my hotline or send me an email. Have a good rest of your day.”

Brother: “Thank you. Have a good day.”

~ Story time: (Back in 2024.)

Mother in law: "Quit being such an ungrateful b***h to our family! You and him sort your own s**t out, psycho!"

Her father: "Hi sweetheart, it’s your dad. Your in laws contacted me on f*******:. We don't accept your apology. You better grow some decency before you do or say anything to piss me off. If your not in mood be around anyone, then please go calm yourself down somewhere else but don’t take your personal bias out on his family! If you have a problem, go talk to your husband. They are giving both of you a place to stay until you guys are back on your feet. Neither of you don't always get a free pass to act stupid or do whatever you want all the time. Especially when there are boundaries and rules you need to respect in their house. Not everything is always about you. If you can't handle living in people's houses, then don’t be living in other people’s houses and go find your own place. Maybe you need to work on showing more gratitude and appreciation that you have your husband and his family who love and care about you. Nobody is after you for your money. Nobody is here to “mooch” off you. Also, we are trying to help both of you save money and get your lives together. His homeboy helped both of you alot with your relationship problems and maybe he shouldn't have to...? And I swear to god if you ever disrespect him and his family again, it won't be me messaging you. It will be me and you IN PERSON and tired of your s**t! Please don't talk to anyone if you are going to be rude."

Homeboy: "Don’t ever bring your personal problems to work and cause problems with your significant other that you weren’t finished. Take your insecure bullshit somewhere else and grow the f**k up."

Sister: "Your hubby just informed about your persistent behavior at work about you complaining 'not getting his attention or affection' and dumping your unsolicited stress on him. Well, I believe it's a good thing that you guys well be out of town for a week. I don’t want to see you or him at work until you guys come back from your guys vacation with positive energies. Please grow up."

~ Just because couples want to work together on tasks, it doesn't mean your spouse isn't allowed to be overwhelmed at times. Sometimes relationships and marriages take alot of work like raising a family. It takes a village. But you still need to communicate. Your partner is not going to magically know if you don't talk to your love.

Your spouse is allowed to be overwhelmed. Husbands and wives deserve a vacation together for their own sanity.

~ Story time: (Winter of 2025)

Mediator: “We are all here together again. Listen, I lived with my significant others family for over a year until my family found a home for us. I understand it can be very difficult to coexist with everyone, balance between household tasks, and trying to manage time for each other. I get it, not everyone wants to share. Anyway, his parents are at that breaking point with you guys. In the past few months, we’ve been hearing rumors from few people at the bar and the store in our town that you guys were complaining to your relatives, friends, and coworkers about family problems. I was informed that one of you guys contacted your dad about problems and wanting to move out of the states? All we heard was nothing but snide comments, attitude, and repetitive sighs in the current household. The reason we are here because father in law said that he feels attacked that you guys were going behind his back complaining about issues at home. He wanted to inform both of you guys that it needs to stop. They want it to stop. If the attitude, snide comments, and bad mouthing does not stop, then this would leave us no choice but to serve a 30 day eviction paperwork and we don’t want to put that on your records. I need to hear everyone stories again. We’re only hearing one side from couple people. Now let’s get to the bottom of this.”

Mother in law: “So his father and I noticed them acting rude towards us and always hiding in their room. We’ve overheard them complaining to her dad and to their friends on the phone about “inconveniences” within our family. My son’s wife had the audacity to roll her eyes at my husband for expressing his political opinions then she gave an unnecessary ultimatum that if he kept playing Fox News again on his television then she would not eat dinner with us again. My husband forced his hand to change the channel because she’s doesn’t like politics. He didn’t want her to eat in the room anyway, so yeah. Both of them said some inappropriate remarks about me that I’m always a bitchy martyr. He also shamed me for having my bad days. She created a digital drawing and posted on f*******: with shaming word tactics in the image of a bitchy Karen with garbage bags and graffiti in the background. I can actually show it to you on my phone. And I saw on Life360 when I’m not home or my husband is asleep, they would sneak to McDonalds few times behind my back when I cooked tons of food and there are like lots of leftovers in the fridge. We don’t appreciate the backstabbing and snarky remarks in our home. If you guys have a problem, please act like adults and say it to our faces.”

*Scrolls through f*******: images and shows the digital art to them*

Mediator: “Thank you for showing us the image. You must be one of his siblings. Would you like to share your thoughts?”

Brother in law: “Yes. I’m going to tell you guys right now! We are getting sick and tired of feeling like we’re a nuisance to you. Are we seriously annoying to you? Does our messy house really disgust you? Honestly, it doesn’t feel like we’re family. This is petty high school bullshit. It’s like your time and freedom is more important than family. Also, we have no interests in taking your money away or interfering your plans away from both of you! I wasn’t trying to interfere between your guys quiet time! If you can’t handle living with family because we have too many “inconveniences,” were too loud and annoying, our house is too messy, and our moodiness like every inconveniences is TOO MUCH for you, then find somewhere to stay and move the hell out guys!”

*Sibling walks back in the bedroom and slams the door*

Mediator: “Alright. Do you two have anything to back up your claim? Would you care to explain why you created a digital art and posted on social media?”

Wife: “Yeah. There are no names of anyone on it. It was just a general expression. I didn’t give any family details. I don’t understand why take my art so personal. Everyday my husband and I come home from work, feeling like we’re constantly walking on egg shells. He can testify. He may be used to it but it doesn’t give his mother the right to lash out at us for no reason. She has took her attitude out on me for no reason when I ask how your day has been or if I ask for verifications then she yelled at me for no reason. His dad tried to police us on how we spend our money when it’s really none of his business. I made it clear to everyone that I’m not comfortable with politics. His dad kept rambling about politics in the living room because he’s loud about everything, so I ignored everything he said and turned up my loud music on my TV in our bedroom. My husband and I drove to the vape store to meet up with our friend to vent. I contacted my dad to vent about the issues because we needed people to talk. We are grown adults. We are not underage. We paid them cash every month. We helped them clean and everything. Yet, it feels like we’re being treated like children in their house. We’re sick of feeling miserable.”

Father in law: “Sweetheart, that’s just the bare minimum. We are talking about your guys behaviors towards me and my wife. It’s just petty crap that’s been going on in my own home. You could’ve asked nicely for me to keep my voice down and tune down my television. I don’t have any intentions telling you guys what to do with your money or how to live your lives. I only gave you guys suggestions how to save money. My wife may have her bad days but it doesn’t give you the right to slander my wife by going around telling people about her reactions towards both of you. I will not tolerate anyone disrespecting my wife in a backstabbing way. You should’ve talked with me if you had an issue with her. Our house maybe cluttered and messy but shaming people is not going to clean itself when we could only do so much. If you want our house clean so bad, then you have the option to come help or give us suggestions on how we can fix our clutter if you have better ideas for organization.”

Husband: “Dad, you need to understand that her and I could only do so much as well. We both have jobs. We understand how you and mom feel, but were tired and overworked on worst busy days too.”

Mediator: “Alright. I understand our plans, personal feelings, and differences tend to get in the way. Ma’am, I agree that it’s not appropriate be going around spreading issues about your in laws to your father and friends without consent. Sir, you also cannot be doing it to your parents too. That’s not okay, guys. I agree that it is petty. You guys need to understand that both of you are guests in their home. They pay the rent and bills in their own home. You also need to take a consideration of their feelings. Ma’am I’m going to tell you this right now that you may not like what his parents do, but his father is allowed to express whatever he wants on his television that he paid for. His mom is allowed to express her bad days. It’s their house. Legally, they also have the right to kick you guys out if they decide to. Regardless if both of you like it or not, inappropriate behaviors of family slander and bad attitude are not acceptable in their household. I’m in agreement with the sibling that both of you have options. If either sort your own issues or move out.”

Husband: “It’s cool. My wife and I are planning on moving out during the Spring time anyway.”

Mediator: “Good. At this point, I’m going to give both of you until Spring to vacate out of their home. You guys have all Winter to save up money and start planning everything. That should give you guys enough time to figure everything out. I’ll let both of you discuss things further.”

Discussion: Okay, I will be calling out everyone on their s**t in this household. Not one person, everyone! Reading both sides to all of this madness. I’m reading a lot of hostility here. There are so many faults on everyone in the story. I stated in the past that they are two sides to the story and the truth. I want to know why would you hire a mediator to fix conflicting problems for you when all of this should have been handled differently. I’m not against anyone who needs a mediator for advice and point out the issues, but weaponizing mediator just to play this who is right and who is wrong game translates “Ha! Mediator understands us more than you guys” type of s**t. Everyone is complaining over money, their messy house, everyone is in competition on who get’s who, and every single thing that needs to be worked on. There are so many f****d up issues this family needs to seriously work on. Unfortunately, some people can’t accept healthy criticism. There is a difference between constructive criticism to try to be helpful and bad criticism just to be an asshole.

First, it sounds like that f*******: friend kind of spoke too petty and invalidating his wife’s interests. A good friend would not treat anyone that way on social media. That could’ve been handled better than that snark comment posted alone for everyone to laugh which is not okay. If the wife felt like an outcast, then she needs to bring it up to her husband. I understand you are trying to promote your stuff, but you can’t control anyone on social media. Everyone has their own priorities, interests, needs, wants, and desires. When I say you can’t control everyone, it means everything is not always going to be about you all the time.

Second, I want to point out the wife was in the wrong for picking fights with the family for no reason in the beginning because she wanted his attention. If she’s that insecure over losing money or losing free time with her husband because he’s taking care of family, then why the hell did she move in with them in the first place? No need to make room for jealousy and selfishness. That should’ve been discussed between two partners alone. Instead of communicating with her husband, she chose to act combative by interfering between him and his family in a disrespectful manner. The husband is in the wrong for bragging about his marriage problems to everyone. There is a time and place for everything. People don’t need to be dragged into their mess. Dude, you need to be careful who you bring up your problems to before you make it become a nasty backlash. Mother in law is very wrong for name calling and randomly go after his wife over things is not about her. Husband is a dumbass for not standing up for his wife. Just because you’re his mother, it doesn’t give you the right to interfere and go off on the wife over whatever disagreement you guys had together. If there is any forms of abuse going on in their marriage then there is a time and place to step in and protect your son. Other silly ass issues, you don’t need to interfere. If you need to pull your son aside and talk with him in a proper manner, then he’s willing to figure out what is going on. The next time you have issues with someone’s spouse, talk with their spouse first, and then let the spouse deal with their spouse privately. Take a step back and leave the issues up to the couples to handle together. There are better ways to handle issues than interfering on the spouse. The homeboy may have done something nice and helpful. I’m sorry but he also has no business putting his 2 cents into this situation that adds fumes to the fire. The in laws are also at fault that they feel the need to get a hold of her family that leads to more problems. They are adding more fumes to the fire by dragging her family into the drama. The couple are working together at the same job which there is nothing wrong with couples working in same job place long as there are set of boundaries and you guys understand to keep home life and work separate. If you are bringing your problems to work, then you need to reevaluate your issues and figure out why are you having these issues.

Third, Why the hell couldn’t his parents put on their big person pants on and talk with both of them if they have an issue? Homie, we are adults here. I can sense the unfairness in the household. There is a lack of communication. No one is compromising or coexisting in the household. If they feel the need to call some mediator because people are choosing not to act like adults, then how are things going to be solved in the future? It’s good to have someone to give their input on things, but I feel like problems are not being solved properly. Honestly, it’s none of their business of what the couples talk about behind closed doors. So what if they need to go vent to their friends and to her father! So what if they both discuss issues together that are upsetting them! You guys want to sit there and accuse them of backstabbing when they feel uncomfortable with your behaviors? I’m sorry but they shouldn’t have to tip top around your bullshit!The brother in law’s feelings are valid but getting offended in a hostile way over the fact that two people can only put up with so much that family is choosing not to make an effort to be better. Not everyone wants to put up with chaos. Depending on what kind of inconveniences we’re talking about, not everyone wants to deal with too many inconveniences when you also need to take consideration the couple has their own inconveniences too. If you feel like a nuisance, then that is something you need to figure out yourself. Whatever number of inconveniences this family has going on is something they need to really work on before it becomes more worse in the future. Skills are available online for free which is time management, preparation, planning ahead of time, etc. Also, it’s really none of their business of what they do with their money. You can’t force them to eat leftovers. The mother in law is being insecure over food. Like I said you can’t control what adults eat, watch, or do. Why get mad over food and a photo on f*******: that does not involve you? Guess who is the insecure mother now. His mother is taking everything so personal. Regardless if your elder or not, your are trying to find dumb reasons to get mad just to act petty towards them which that is toxic and plain immaturity. I agree with the mediator part where the daughter in law went wrong. She did not pay for the TV or wifi. Mediator is right, it’s not their house. His dad is allowed to watch whatever he wants in his own home. I don’t like Fox News, but you also can’t control what people watch on TV. If you’re not comfortable what he puts on TV, then you should have talked with them, watch your own TV in the bedroom, or put on headphones. If it’s not your house, then you have no right to control what they do in their own home. Again with the wife’s insecurity problem. If she still can’t stand his dad watching the news, then the problem is her, not him. Was he trying to shove it down her throat? If his father is trying to shove politics down her throat, then she needs to talk with her husband about his father’s behavior. Don’t boss the owners of the household. The cleanliness in the household. I’m sorry but everyone needs to learn to clean up after themselves. It’s not their responsibility to pick up the pieces for everyone. If it’s not your house, don’t touch their mess. Let them figure out their own mess. Basic responsibilities are cooking, cleaning, dishes, counters, trash, laundry, and floors which is everyone’s responsibility. It’s not a one person job. I have a feeling that there is a lot of responsibility dumping over here. Everyone is really not getting along. I think everyone needs to start doing self reflection and focus on themselves instead of constantly worrying about what everyone is doing. Everyone is at fault in this whole story. You can’t always fix everyone’s problems if they choose not to change their bad habits. After everything that happened, I believe leaving will better option for them.

Now the couple are moving out during the Spring time. After documented repetitive issues lined up in script, I believe moving out will be good idea for them. Living in the same household where there is no peace is not healthy. It’s not healthy to live in this constant cycle of negativity that can put in effect on your growth and mental health. A lot of times, parents struggle with power and control when grown kids are trying to leave the nest. When you are living with family, all parties need to come together with mutual agreement, communication, boundaries, respect, structure, management on bills and groceries, and trust. If there are neither, then there is no point of living with family.