Accountability is not a bad word.
1143 Words
Excuse me, I'm not being mean. I'm holding my spouse accountable. There is a difference.
If I'm talking to my spouse about issues that need to be addressed and you are present, please do not intervene and keep your unwanted comments to yourself. Let us handle OUR problems together. Let me deal with MY spouse. Do not try to convince one of us with that "but he or she didn't mean to" or try to convince one of us into letting issues slide without addressing them. Intervening and interjecting as the "third party" can only make things confusing and difficult for our relationship to make my spouse not take our relationship seriously and it can make my spouse think differently about our relationship into getting away with anything when friends, family, or strangers are around us.
If we have questions or concerns, then we will ask for your help. If we didn't ask for your help, mind your business.
Thank you kindly. ðđ
Story time:
Eight years ago 2017, I came across some people in real life of a husband who was not aware that he lets his wife walk over him. She treated people like s**t, flirts with other men at bars while he's at work, rude to restaurant workers, and caused drama. The wife was a Karen and spoiled brat. Her husband swept her behaviors under the rug and acted as if it was everyone's fault that their marriage is s**t. I was like wow Stockholm syndrome at its finest. I blocked them and walked away.
Six years ago 2019, I had another toxic couple on social media who came to my art page and added me. Someone's boyfriend asked me a dumb question "you have 5 minutes to tell me who you are and give me what I want or you will get blocked." I laughed and respond to him with "Dude, learn respect. I'm just an art creator, bye." I blocked him. After I blocked him, his insecure girlfriend sent me a threatening message with "back tf up or you'll get stabbed" and accusing me of flirting with her man, throwing racial slurs by calling me illegal immigrant and N word, "it's illegal to sell gay art," assumptions that I'm an alien and fake, tried to claim that she's right and I'm wrong type of games, and tried to get cops involved for "s****l harassing" her man. I screenshotted the messages and blocked her. Sheriff's department contacted me, I explained my side of the story and showed him proof of evidence. Sheriff's department apologized to me for the inconvenience, told me to keep them blocked on f*******:, not have contact with them again, and complimented my drawings are amazing and keep up the good work. I laughed my ass off on that day.
After years, I never saw them again. I cut ties with people who treat their partners poorly at home. I cut ties with people who act like this towards others. I will not stick around with people who bring negativity and chaos on the table.
Hold your partner accountable:
This goes for all genders. If you're not going to hold your partner accountable for their actions, then someone else will deal with your partner personally by a friend, relative, or a stranger and it will no longer be cute or funny anymore. Your partner will end up facing the wrath by someone who will end up whooping your partner's ass in the future. Believe me, karma is a b***h. You won't be able to save your partner from the wrath because you let your person get way with s**t. You'll end up getting questioned with that why do you put up with this persons bad behaviors?
Friends and families will go "Oh my god, we can't be around these people if their relationship is that toxic. I don't know what he/she sees in this person."
Think about how unhealthy behaviors in your relationship can affect you. It can put an effect on your reputation at work and town you live, mental health, and everything in general.
Few examples:
If your wife throws a tantrum by slamming cabinets and screaming because you didn't buy her Burger King, what are you going to do in this situation? Sorry dude. I wouldn't give into her behavior. Don't coddle her or anything at this moment. You better get out of the house, stay at a friend's place for a few days, and let her figure her own s**t out until both of you are ready to talk.
If your husband throws a tantrum by throwing beer bottles because you can't afford to buy him alcohol, what are you going to do in this situation? Sorry chick. Don't buy him anymore beer. Stay at a friend's place for a few days and let him figure out how he's going to deal with his own s**t.
If your boyfriend ends up in jail for his stupidity, you're not going to save him. Are you?
Sorry miss, but let him sit in jail and maybe he will learn from his mistakes one day.
If your girlfriend sent to jail for her stupidity, you're not going to save her. Are you?
Sorry sir, let her sit in jail then maybe she will learn from her mistakes one day.
What would you do if your insecure partner treats retailers, waitresses/waiters, artists, and service workers like s**t?
How many times are you going to sit here and watch your loved ones do stupid s**t behind your back?
What are you going to do if your relationship shatters because you allowed these bad habits and behaviors to continue?
We've been too forgiving for way too long that we've mislead being nice, helping, and being overly giving to toxic people which that caused by enabling them. That is how you end up with spoiled moochers, cheaters, backstabbers, or users because you are letting them think it's okay to take you for granted with manipulation and disrespect. You chose to let them walk all over you. You need to speak up, put your foot down, and give them consequences for their actions. You need to set boundaries and limitations with some people.
It doesn't come and go by mental illness, medical issues, or disabilities. I don't believe that it should be used as an excuse to be rude and disrespectful. I believe that behaviors are choices. You can't make excuses for bad behavior. They are choosing to act that way. They don't lie, cheat, and backstab by chance. They lie, cheat, and backstab by choice.
You need to communicate and have serious discussions about boundaries or they will keep on walking all over you. The more you give, the more worse things get. It's better to cut the cord & break the cycle, than get used up like trash.
- Writer
