Let's Do Better Ghouls! (Extra Readings: Helpful tips on self improvement.)

Last family complaint: Part two.

Mediator: “Something that has bought to our attention. We were informed that boundaries are violated over whatever is being shared on social media. Do not share dirty laundry or over gloat about stuff behind their backs because apparently few months ago someone respectfully asked you not to share, gloat, or advocate for something that made the person feel uncomfortable but someone chose to do it anyway. It’s very disrespectful and slandering. Regardless of whatever post is supposed to be funny or not, supportive or not, you still need to respect their wishes. Otherwise, you will get verbally uncorked or immediate eviction. Anyway, everyone can go back to doing your thing. Both you stay here for a moment.”

~ There were continuous issues in the household that kept happening over again. Although, there were some improvements but still needs to work on proving that this family can make better changes. Unfortunately, we received another complaint about some ridiculous issue again. Let’s discuss this matter here.

Father in law: “So I’ve been getting nothing but negative vibes in the past few weeks from both of you kids. It’s the snide comments, bad attitude, gossiping, and sneaking around with spending money on fast food instead of finishing the leftovers in our fridge. I’m not the only one who feels this way about the leftovers not being eaten, your mom also feels attacked that you guys are door dashing, someone else is giving you guys food at work, or eating at someone’s house. I overheard you guys talking about me in your bedroom while I was grabbing drinks from the cabinet. I feel attacked in my own home. I don’t deserve to feel targeted in my house. We are grown adults here. It’s gotta stop guys like seriously. If you have an issue, say it to my face. Don’t s**t about this family. I’m also concerned why did you share this new drawing on f*******: when I asked you not to advocate for the woke community but you did it anyway. That literally feels like a slap in the face to me.”

Wife: “Okay but the posts I share on f*******: is really not about you. I’m not obligated to give you an explanation. It’s my f*******: page. I’m allowed to share my support to whoever I want to support. The drawings are not harming anyone. If you’re taking my drawings and posts such a personal offense, then I think you need to re-evaluate yourself. If I may be honest, we are sick and tired of your constantly political Fox News dumping on us when we are not obligated to listen to that.”

Father in law: “Okay. As a Christian, I feel betrayed that you’re siding with woke. I would hope that you would change your mind. You could’ve told me to change the channel or put in your ear plugs if you guys have such a problem listening to my garbage. Just like homeboy’s significant other said that you are aggressive and snarky the way to talk to people on Facebook.”

Husband: “I’m going to interject for a moment. What does that have to do with the bullshit she does on f*******:? You said in the beginning that you and mom feel “attacked” in your own home over the fact that we weren’t eating leftovers. First of all, that part is bullshit. We’ve been eating leftovers and taking them to work with us. Second, she wasn’t trying to be aggressive nor snarky. She was only speaking truth even if it does come across harsh. If she was aggressive, then she would be name calling or screaming “f**k you” but I don’t see her name calling or doing anything hostile on social media!”

Father in law: “Your mother and I been taken for granted by so many people including our relatives! I was assaulted by a black man in the past! You kids have no idea of what real trauma feels like!”

Mediator: “Enough gentlemen! Everyone please lower the volume of your voices. Speak calmly.”

Father in law: “I just want the it to stop. That is all I asked of both of you. Just because you guys are moving out, it does not give you guys the right to act like jerks towards us. I’ll be resting in my bedroom for a few days thank you very much. May I excuse myself?”

Mediator: “Yes sir. Rest well.”

*father in law steps out of the office and shuts the door*

Wife: “We weren’t doing anything wrong. What the heck is going on?”

Mediator: “The reason he came to us because his feelings are hurt. His mother still believes in her own mind that it’s ungrateful. As a parent, I can understand how his mother feels. If you guys were my kiddos acting weird out of the blue towards me, I would feel betrayed in my own home too. Now I understand how you guys feel, but you need to consider that his father has feelings too. I’m not taking anyone side. When I’m not around, I get weird family complaints. We’ve already had discussions in the past about your wife acting OCD about money and jealousy for attention much as she doesn’t want to admit it. I can’t do anything but listen to both sides and reprehend people. If this doesn’t stop, you guys can deal with the landlord. I don’t know. Everything is just petty.”

Husband: “Also, I will not tolerate anyone calling my wife an ungrateful b***h and psycho. The nerve of my father dragging us back here is bullshit over leftover food and my wife’s f*******: posts, like come on. Was that really necessary? We had no intention of acting like jerks to my family. What we do with our money is really none of their business. I understand that everyone has feelings, but he’s the one sitting there acting like the hypocrite and just pulled the victim card by rehashing the past. Everything that’s been going on, my wife and I are tired of this crap. Honestly, I’m thankful that we are moving out this Spring.”

Wife: “We were not gossiping or bad mouthing about our family in this household. My social media postings are not harmful and what I do on f*******: is my business. We are not harming anyone here. Both of us are sick and tired of carrying all of this weight for everyone. We felt taken advantage of at the same time. As a matter of fact, we are tired of walking on eggshells, chaos, and guilt tripping.”

Mediator: “Understood. Thank you for sharing. Hang in there, guys. Spring is on the way.”

Discussion: It’s petty high school s**t. What does he mean he feels “attacked” in his own home? Who did you hear those bad things from? Where are the sources and evidence of any forms of disrespect in their household? Are your feelings hurt that they are choosing peace over chaos? After last month’s chapter, it sounds like the couple wasn’t doing anything wrong but just existing, packing their things for moving, and minding their own business in general. All his family doing is living on chaos and negativity. They are holding things over their heads by rehashing the same bullshit over and over. I understand people struggle with emotions, but using the past against people is toxic. This is absolutely ridiculous of why it’s being rehashed for no reason. Yet, mother in law is still weaponizing leftover food again. They tried to accuse them of stabbing them in the back again and then switches to victim mentality with that “Your mother and I been taken for granted by so many people including our relatives! I was assaulted by a black man in the past! You kids have no idea of what real trauma feels like!” Seriously? You want to sit there and project your prejudice onto them? That’s the whole controlling mindset in this man. That translates: “How dare you not accept my racist behavior. How dare you not accommodate my bigotry.” Now I truly understand why the daughter in law is not comfortable around him watching Fox News. Hate is a f*****g disease. She has the right to stand her ground about her social media page. Her husband won’t stand for his father’s behavior.

People have their own life. We are allowed to be our own person. People are allowed to have their own private conversations. If you can’t accept that, then what is the point of staying under their roof full of chaos, lack of trust, and no respect. People are tired of feeling like they have to tip toe around someone’s insecurities. Tell that to couple that have said that they felt miserable getting bitched at constantly. You said she’s a mother with feelings but it doesn’t mean that it’s okay to lash out and sabotage her son and daughter in law. It doesn’t make it okay to drag people into drama or threat with eviction because their feelings are hurt. Family is not willing to accept the fact that couple are moving on with their own lives together. I’m kind of surprised the mediator was able to show support to the couple on the last part. Thank god, the husband finally said something about how his parent’s behaviors were not acceptable. He will no longer tolerate anyone disrespecting his wife. I did call him a dumbass on part one chapter for not defending his wife when his mother started lashing out at his wife along with name calling. Anyway, it sounds like his parents are causing problems for no reason. Everything is just a headache and waste of air. You are letting negativity, unwanted stress, and chaos suffocate others and that is exactly what his parents are doing. Shifting blame on the couple as a scapegoat and not facing your own issues is the real problem. Finding dumb reasons to get mad by holding stupid s**t over their heads and not taking any responsibility for your own problems is absolutely wild. That is a manipulation tactic the way they are twisting the words in stories, putting words in other people’s mouths, and yelling bullshit out of their asses.

I learned this advice from my old friend’s mom at a Amtgard event when I was 19 years old. When I vent to my friends about my family issues involved my auntie who would constantly pick fights with me on f*******: nine years ago, my friend’s mom asked me at park, “Are you a grown woman?” I responded yes. She asked a second question, “Do you have a strong pair of t**s?” I responded yes. She said, “Good! Use them and deal with the consequences later.” That was the best advice that has ingrained into my head as a reminder that I’m a grown ass woman. I’m allowed to make my own decisions because it’s my life.

My hubby learned this advice the exact similar as the advice I took from my good friend’s mom. He learned it from his ex girlfriend’s mom when his ex was a controlling b***h. (It’s funny because her and I used to be friends when I dated my ex abuser at the time. We’ll get into that later on in the next chapters.) His ex girlfriend’s mom verbally ripped on her daughter for good. After her mom verbally ripped on her, she asked him, “You got a pair of balls?” He answered yes. “Use them and deal with the consequences later.” This became a great reminder that he’s a grown ass man. There for he doesn’t need permission from anyone on how to adult. He is allowed to make his own decisions even if it makes the haters mad.

My advice to everything else is don’t let family guilt you. The odds are what hell makes them believe that they can have a say when you were not harming anyone in that kind of sense. Every young adult is going to make mistakes and we all made mistakes in our life which it happens but we learn from those mistakes. Every adult is going to have different lifestyles and that is okay. You just need to learn to accept it and love them no matter what. I hope the couple has a better fresh start in a new home to work on themselves, heal, and focus on peace together. I hope this family can start working on solving their own mess without relying on the couple to do s**t for them.