Broken Promises

You are a f*****g i***t.

RYLEE’S P.O.V.

I was on the verge of falling asleep, that weird part where you start dreaming but are still aware of the things happening around you. When I heard him ask if I was still awake, I ignored it; of course. I was trying so hard to actually fall asleep.

“You really got me f****d up Rylee, and you don’t even know what you do to me every day,” he says, pausing for a moment. “What I want to do to you every day” he continues, holding me tighter than before.

“Since I was thirteen Rylee.” he says slowly. Was this a love confession?! It could have just been the alcohol talking right?

I tried to push it out of my head and go to sleep but I couldn’t, I laid there for a while until I knew he was asleep. I tried to wiggle away, carefully, slowly even.

“Stop doing that.” he groaned in his sleepy voice.

“I have to pee.” I said lowly.

He moved his arms and I climbed off the bed; I didn’t actually have to pee I just wanted to be able to leave without questions. I walked to Melissa’s room, I knocked on the door lightly and waited a moment, she opened it and gave me a confused look.

“I think he confessed his love to me,” I said lowly.

“Oh god, okay.” She said slipping out of the room and closing the door behind her.

“Come on.” She said pulling me behind her, we walked to Jake's room. Melissa went in and came back out a few seconds later, then Noah's, then Jasons. We walked downstairs to the basement, everyone looked confused.

“Rylee, tell them why I called this family meeting,” Melissa said sitting down, everyone's attention was on me and I really didn’t like it.

“Never mind, it's not important,” I said lowly standing up to walk upstairs.

“Luka told her he liked her.” Melissa blurted out.

“Oh,” Jake said, his eyes really big as they all looked at me.

“He didn’t actually tell me, he told sleeping me. But sleeping me was awake just enough to hear it.” I responded.

“Do you like Luka?” Noah asked.

“As a friend?” I answered.

“You never thought of being anything else with him?” Jake asked.

“I mean, yes and no,” I answered, I walked over to the bar and grabbed a shot of Vodka.

“What does that mean?” Jason asked, confused.

“I mean like sometimes, yeah. But not really. Luka and I are really good friends and I feel like dating him or anything would ruin that.” I answer honestly.

“So, you need to tell him that,” Melissa added.

“I don’t want to hurt him,” I answer.

“You aren’t going to; he just needs to know that you value him too much,” Jake added.

“I mean, he may be a little hurt. But it’s nothing he can’t handle.” Noah chimed in.

“Is it selfish if I just ignore it?” I groan a little.

“I mean, kind of,” Melissa answered.

“I just don’t want to lose him,” I say grumpily.

“You won’t just tell him the truth,” Melissa spoke.

“If that’s all, I'm going back to bed.” Noah laughed.

“Actually,” I said quickly as he started to walk towards the steps.

“I need to tell you guys something,” I said quickly before my body could stop me.

“Okay?” Noah said sitting back down.

“So, you guys know I love you right?” I asked.

“Of course, Rylee,” Noah answered.

“And I would never do anything to hurt you, so just say the word and I'll put an end to it all,” I said quickly.

“Stop word vomiting and just tell us.” Jake sighed annoyed.

“I’m going to let Bruce adopt me.” I blurted it out so fast I didn’t think they would even be able to understand it.

“That’s great Rylee.” Melissa smiled.

“I’m proud of you, this was a hard choice for you to make,” Noah added.

“We are definitely going to miss you though,” Jason added.

“You are doing the right thing.” Melissa hugged me.

“Jake?” I ask looking at him.

“You are a f*****g idiot.” he scoffs.

“What?” I ask confused.

“Jake!” Noah, Melissa, and Jason yell in unison.

“I’m serious, you barely know who he is and you are just jumping into moving in with him!” He yelled.

“No, that’s not true at all. I know a lot about him and he’s known me since I was a baby!” I yell back.

“That doesn’t mean he won’t hurt you.” Jake scoffed.

“I trust that he won’t!” I yelled back.

“You put way too much trust in people you don’t know!” Jake yelled, stepping closer.

“I trusted you, and that worked out just fine!” I yell once more.

“Rylee, how many others have known you since you were a baby?!” Jake yells as he stands. I stay quiet.

“How many of them hurt you without a second thought?” Jake scoffed.

“JAKE!” Noah boomed.

“No, he’s right,” I answer.

“I’ll be okay. No matter the outcome of this.” I say bravely standing my ground as my knees weaken under me.

“Rylee you can’t handle it again,” Jake said sternly.

“You don’t get to be the judge of that.” I scoff.

“Oh, and by the way. I got the internship at the Argus Observer.” I say before I turn my heel to walk away.

“Congratulations.” Jake scoffs.

“I’ll see you guys in the morning,” I say quickly before walking up the steps.

I go to my room, where Luka lays sound asleep in my bed. I let my mind wander for a moment. Do I like him? Could he be my forever? After everything I've been through Luka has always been there to save me, could he be the one my heart needs to heal itself completely? Could I risk him breaking it once more? I don’t think I could take it, I couldn’t recover if he broke it, if I lost him, I would be lost. He’s my person, but in being my person does it mean more?

Does it mean I love him more than I think I do? Does my love for him fall under the cover of our friendship or is it more? The thoughts I've had about him were more than just friendship thoughts but I've never acted on them. Could Luka be my person for life? He’s stood by me while I went through so many different things, from family to friends, to boyfriends; he's been with me through it all. What if I broke his heart? I wouldn’t be able to live with myself, four years is a long time for him to have a crush on me, or like me the way he does. At some point he made up this idea of me in his head, who I would be if we were together and I can’t live up to that, I’m not good enough for him. I know this, I’m not good enough for anyone right now, I don’t like who I am right now. I push the thoughts away and grab a bag.

I pick up the phone and make a call. Grabbing clothes and shoving them into my bag.

“Can I stay with you for a little while?” I ask as they answer.

“Yeah, I'm on my way.” and the phone line ends, I make my way over to Luka and place a kiss on his forehead.

“I’m not sure if I love you, but I know you’ll be better off without me,” I say slightly.

“Where are you going?” Luka asks, catching my arm as I walk away.

“I just need some space,” I answer.

“Where?” he asks.

“I’ll be safe.” I smile.

“Where Rylee?” he asks once more.

“Luka do you love me?” I ask.

“What? You’re my best friend, of course, I love you.” he chuckles a little.

“No, do you love me?” I ask once more.

“Yes,” he answers.

“Then let me go.” I smile. He releases my arm and I walk away. Apart of me wanted to turn around and tell him everything, but I couldn’t. If he knows where I am he’ll come to find me and I won’t be able to leave again. I leave a note on the fridge and my phone on the counter, deleting the call I made and the text from them as they pulled up outside. I smile as I look around the house once more and head for the door.

“Goodbye,” I whisper as I close the door behind me.