Broken Promises

Life in a nutshell.

The sun beats down on my body as I force myself to open my eyes sweat dripping down as I muster myself to stand. I head for the bathroom to empty the contents of what's left from the night before. My head foggy and my eyes glazed as I walk down the hall barely making it to the toilet before I feel the bile in my throat. I continue to vomit for what feels like forever before a small laugh comes from the door way. I look up to see a man I don't recognize, maybe I met him last night? I don't remember much of it. I think for a second and then pulled from my thoughts as quickly as it comes the vomit comes faster. 

"Light weight" he laughs before walking in and tying up my hair. I flinch at his Sudden movements towards me 

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to freak you out" he stumbles back careful of his next move 

"It's okay" I mustered before turning back to the toilet. 

He stands there for a while watching me as I continue to empty everything in the bathroom before leaving me as soon as I'm done, I scoff and wipe my mouth before standing and splashing cold water onto my face.  I grab my toothbrush and brush my teeth just trying to get the hell out of here. I walk back down the hall towards 'my room' and swing the door open to start getting ready for the day. 

"Rylee be quite!" My roommate tosses in her bed 

"We are going to be late" I say shifting our clothes in the closet 

"Dude no I'm not going today" she says pulling the blanket back over face 

"You don't have a choice" I turn pulling the covers off of her. 

Melissa isn't one for early mornings but a few more late days and she'll be expelled, I couldn't let that happen to my best friend. 

"Get dressed. Down in 5 or I'm coming with ice water." I yell throwing clothes at her as she sits up. I grab my phone off the charger to check it seeing mostly drunken stories from last night. I go to the bathroom again to fix my hair and makeup and then down to eat what I could stomach. I look at the time one last time and roll my eyes as the newbie makes his way down the steps. 

"You look tired" he smiled 

"And you look like an ass" I scoffed and a glare from the other side of the room I could feel being burned into my body. I don't look I continue eating. 

"Ryleeeeee" Noah whines as he walks down the steps 

"Noahhhhh" I say clearing and washing my plate 

"Why does it have to be so early?" He whines again 

"Uh because school starts in 30 minutes?" I laughed it off. I knew it was a rhetorical question but it's funny to mess with him 

"Melissa out of bed yet?" 

With those words Noah looked at me and just gave me the look. The look I know all too well. The look that says yeah right or you're funny. 

"I told her five minutes" I say as I grab a cup of cold water and get some ice from the freezer.  

"Be nice" the woman sitting across the room says as she tips back what I only imagine is her 3rd bottle of vodka this morning from how she's slurring her words almost passing out. 

I slam the door open once again and a look of dread fills Melissa's face as she realizes she f****d up. 

"Rylee no!" She yells jumping out of bed trying to run from it. She runs down the hall to another room and locks the door swiftly 

"Two minutes. And make them quick ones!" 

"Fine!" She yells through the door and with that I walk away. 

"She's up now" Noah laughs 

"You would be to. Need a pick me up?" I smile as the words leave his mouth. 

"Coffee" we say in unison. 

"Rylee after school. Here only, you are babysitting tonight" I hear the words of salvation 

"Works for me. Thanks John" I smiled as my foster dad walks into the house from the grave yard shift. 

He always had a way of saving me from the nights to come and though he wasn't really sure what always went down after dusk I found comfort in the fact that tonight I was to be home and not out babysitting his wife. But instead, the rest of the kids. 

"Well that sure if a f**k me look if I saw one" Noah laughs 

"Yeah. f**k you" I laughed it off. John always made comments but wouldn't dare to touch a minor, His graveyard shifts are at the police station. 

"Finally," I yell seeing Melissa all dolled up in just a minute and a half 

"Record time" I laugh as I push her out the door 

"But coffee" she pouts and I pull out her thermos handing it to her giving her a half smile 

"Have I told you you are the best?" 

"Only a million times. But I wouldn't mind hearing it again" 

My best friend is my world. Everything I do I do for her. Our parents died in a car accident almost together and despite not knowing each other at the time in our 11-year-old minds we quickly bonded over that fact when we met only a few years ago. When she moved in, I taught her the ropes. What to do what not to do. What we could get away with and what we couldn't. We always pushed our limits for a while but of course you settle into the security that this is the best you get out of the foster system. A broken home with an addict for a parent and a foster dad that could care less what happens as long as none of us get arrested. We are nothing but a pretty paycheck even if they have enough money as it is, I smile knowing I have friends in this twisted house even if we met in horrible situations. 

"Rylee?" I hear a faint voice as I look across the street. 

"Damn it" I turn my head to avoid the stare, if looks could kill I would be struck down right where I stand. 

"Hey Rylee" a girl taps me on the shoulder with a pity smile upon her face. 

"What Lacey?" I smile in hopes someone hits me with a f*****g car on the sidewalk. 

"I just wanted to say again how sorry I--" I cut her off. Before she can say another word, my anger takes over 

"No, I don't want sympathy I don't want pity I don't want your support. People die. Stop making it more than what it is!" I yell pushing myself to walk away before she answers with some pity party comment. I push past people on the side walk, finding my small alleyway I hide in a lot now a days. I've had a rough life; my real parents didn't want me apparently and I was put up for adoption. Technically they left me at the fire station, my adoptive parents died in a car accident when I was 10 and I was placed with my mother's sister, and brother, and uncle, and anyone else who would take me. I went into the foster system soon after my mom's brother took me in. He also died; of an overdose. Recently someone else died. I was really close to them but God one look from someone telling me they are sorry and I'm going to lose my s**t. I took a deep shaky breath in before continuing my walk to school. Emerging from my little hiding place I turn the corner and run into a hard body. 

"s**t I'm sorry" I muster before looking up 

"It's okay, don't worry about it" the man laughs. He can't be more then a year older than I. Muscles that he clearly is trying to hide stick out the hoddie he has on as the air grows hotter between us. His whiskey-colored eyes slowly take me in. All of me. His perfectly chilsed jaw flexing as he takes a deep swallow. A small part of a tattoo peeking out from under his shirt. His voice husky and deep pulls me from the thoughts swirling around in my head. 

"Hey I'm new and actually kinda lost, care to help?" His tone deeper then it was a second ago. 

"Uh sure. Where do you need to go?" I ask hesitantly 

"Bridgewood academy?" He laughs 

"Ah, follow me" I roll my eyes before tugging on his hoddie 

"Rylee don't look but there is a hot man following you like a puppy" Melissa squeals as we near the school 

"Nice to know you think I'm hot" he chuckles 

"Melissa" she stops turning around and I grab her arm making her walk again before they can shake hands. 

"School now" I demanded and she obeyed rolling her eyes as she walked ahead 

"So, Rylee huh?" He smirked 

"Yeah" I say not meeting the gaze I can feel coming from him 

"You seem distant" he said as I kept walking 

"Yeah, usually that's what happens when you are still hung over from the night before" I stiffen thinking about the words that just escaped my mouth. For some reason I just said that. What the f**k is wrong with me. Making myself sound like a shallow girl who drinks all the time to hide the reality of real life. 

"Yeah, I have the ultimate hangover cure though" he laughed 

"Listen I'm sorry but those don't work. I've tried every one. I get up and throw everything up and I'm fine other than a slight headache throughout the day" I smirked thinking of this morning 

"Okay well, where are we drinking?" He asked confused 

"You are new. You could be an undercover cop or something" I laugh and meet his gaze to see there was no humor in my joke apparently. Noah would've laughed. Melissa to. Maybe even the new kid at our foster home. But him he felt different. I blurted out words before I thought about them. 

"Hey I didn't get your name?" I chuckle a little 

"Grayson" he says looking down at the sidewalk. 

"Well Grayson. Welcome to Bridgwood academy" I said stopping in my tracks knowing damn well I have a few minutes before I have to be in my homeroom. 

"It's not as intimidating as it looks, come on I'll walk you to the office" I smile as I tug on his hoodie again forcing my body to walk back into this place knowing damn well the events that unfolded here just a few months earlier. 

Fuck. f**k. f**k. I think as I walk closer and closer to the office doors. I've avoided this place for so long I forgot what it looks like on the inside. 

"Here" I smile as I motion for the office door 

"You aren't coming in?" He shoots me a smile 

"Sorry but I can't" I force a smile and walk away headed for my locked 

"Spicy" Melissa says walking up beside me bobbing her shoulders up and down. 

"No" I said slamming my head into my locker. 

"f**k" I yelled as I pulled my head back only to realize my hair was stuck in the locker beside mine. 

"Melissa. Help" I whine 

"Luka unlock your locker please" Melissa says laughing pointing out I got my hair stuck. 

"Oh, s**t my bad Rylee" Luka says quickly opening his locker 

"It's my fault. Don't worry about it" I laugh it off and continue opening mine. 

Lucas and Luka. Twins and somehow completely different. Luka is what I like to call the middle. He isn't so popular the girls are swarming him but not so unnoticed that he doesn't have plans every weekend. He has dark cloudy blue eyes with a hint of brown in them making them twinkle more under the sun. His hair a ragged dirty blonde cut clean on the sides with just a little to play with on top. He plays football so he's buff and a sharp jaw line like glass. Hes nice and sweet and isn't as much of a player as his brother. Lucas is what I call the higher up. He's always with a girl or the guys. Always partying it up and playing football or basketball or baseball or anything he can to be the best. He flirts with every girl who will spread their legs for him. Despite being a good-looking guy, his personality is nothing. Piercing light blue eyes with blonde hair and the smile to match the perfect boy look, nice body that he posts way too much that I don't even bother to look at his posts on social media anymore. I smile thinking about our time together as children. 

"Rylee" a deep voice came up from behind me shaking my thoughts about the twins. 

"Lucas, to what do I owe the pleasure" I girt my teeth. Not every experience is a good one. 

"Rylee come on. You know you love me" I laugh seriously thinking he's joking. He looks so serious the smile he has melting off of his usually calm cool and collected face. 

"What is it, Lucas?" 

"I need you to be my date tonight" 

"Your what?!" 

"Come on. It's for the charity event. Please. I hate going to these things and you are so good at it. " 

I think about it for a second as he pleads and basically begs me with a pucker lip out. 

"I can't" I let out a sigh motioning to Jessica standing right across the hall from us. Waiting to see my next move. I smirk at how frustrated she gets when I'm near him. Lucas and I dated briefly a couple years back. Stupid fun. Nothing serious and mostly just meaningless nothings. Jessica is his current girlfriend. But given how heartbroken his parents were after they found out we broke up was enough to never tell them he was dating someone they knew again. That and being grounded for some stupid fight we had. 

"Oh her? She doesn't care. Do you babe?" He basically shrugs off my comment about not be able to. 

"Oh no, I told him to ask you Rylee" she smirks as she walks over to us. Strutting with every step making her hips move more then they need to. 

"Listen Lucas I'm sorry but I really can't. I'm babysitting tonight" I smile hoping that would be enough to end this. 

"Oh, did I say tonight? I meant tomorrow night" he smirks his light blue eyes piercing mine. 

"I don't know Lucas. I have a lot going on" I manage to plaster the fakest smile on my face 

"Noah, what is Rylee doing tomorrow?" He stopped Noah in his tracks as he turns around slowly looking between us. Noah may be my best friend but he would do anything for his team mate. 

"Nothing. Her name isn't on anything for tomorrow I checked this morning" Noah seethed 

"f**k" I mumble as a cold sweat runs down my body. I shoot a look to Noah. A look we have only ever shared one other time and it wasn't a pretty moment for either of us.  

"See you are free. We will go shopping tomorrow after school and I'll pick you up at 6" he smiles and quickly takes a step away. Leaving Jessica and I alone where he once stood. 

"Don't think about doing anything Rylee" she scoffed and shoved her shoulder into mine catching me off guard making me fall back. 

"I got ya" I hear another voice. All too well I knew who it was as their arms wrapped around my body to hold me and I see the familiar tattoo on his arm. 

"Luka" I smile as I turn around 

"I'm saving you all day today huh?" He smirks a boyish smirk before shutting his locker again and going back to his conversation. 

"Thanks" I mumble as I pull my stuff from my locker and make my way to class. Luckily it was Thursday and we had a half day tomorrow since it was parent teacher day. 7 am and I still haven't even had a chance to touch my coffee. I bring it to my lips just as Talia bumps into my desk. 

"f**k" I sighed as I just barley save it in time. 

"Sorry" she scoffed and finished walking between the desks. 

I finally get settled into my seat as the teacher begins to talk about something I already know I place one headphone in my ear and hide the wire under my shirt and hair turning my music up so I can just barley hear her. 

"Rylee" I hear the man behind me say 

"Yeah?" I turn to see Grayson with a boyish smile on his face 

"Oh goddess" I whisper only to myself putting my head in my hands. 

"Rylee pay attention" the teacher yells. 

" I am" I laugh 

"Oh yeah. What's the answer then?" She scoffed 

"Square=circle" 

gasps and laughs boom around the room. 

"Come do the whole problem then" she scoffs. 

I walk up to the chalk board looking at the problem Infront of me one more time before writing down every way it could be or even should be written before putting every answer to every question she has on the board. My mind races as I do the math quickly in my head and my hand moves without my body having time to react to how I was putting all of this together in under 2 minutes when it takes most 10 to figure it out. When I was done, I stood back and handed her the chalk walking back over to my seat before plopping myself back down. 

"How did you?" She asked confused 

"Listen I may not come from much anymore but I have A's across the board that mommy and daddy's money don't pay for. I work for my s**t unlike most of the entitled brats in this school. I don't need mommy and daddy's money to get into a good school if I can do all the work myself why not? I also maintain a full-time job and social life." And with that I stood up and left the classroom daring to wonder the empty halls took me right back to that night just a few months ago.  

“Why can’t I be good enough?!” she sobs on the floor as I sit and watch, my mind going blank of everything I want to say to her.  

“You are good enough” I watch as tears fill her eyes and the room clouds over in distant sobs as I hold her on the floor.  

My best friend of one year, feeling worthless. Inferior, useless. All within a five-minute span and for what reason? Because someone made her feel this way. Someone told her she wasn’t enough. Someone did things that you don’t do to your loved ones.  

“Megan, you are the best you, you can be. I love that about you, funny smart brave. You dance like no one is watching and your smile always lights up whatever room you walk into. It’s all going to be okay” I smile seeing her bright emerald eyes looking up at me with just a glimmer of hope.  

“Go enjoy the party Rylee, I appreciate everything you do for me but for once, Live a little. Be your own fire and own the flame.”  

“I would rather sit with you all night then party with everyone else in the damn school”  

“I know Rylee, but at some point, you have to own your flame, you are a wonderful girl with a bright future, you struggle to see the bright side of things right now but eventually you will. Your blonde hair and dark blue eyes will get you far in life, but eventually you won’t be able to hide that wild side I see you in. So go, party and don’t come back for me. I’m going home. Own the flame.”  

“I love you Rylee” I knew something about that didn’t feel right, but I complied with Megans request. Shortly after my life changed forever and I'd never be the girl I once was. 

I knew something about that night never felt right. It didn’t sit right to just leave her but I knew she would protest until I did. Megan and I may not have been friends very long but I struggle not to see her face all over these walls, etched into my memory as her life covers these halls. ‘Own the flame’ for months I tried to figure out what it meant, like maybe it was a sign for me to be me, or to do more with my life. Or maybe she just needed to say something inspirational in her last moments with someone she knew cared about her.  

“Rylee” A voice cut through my thoughts as I stared down the hall where it all began and ended way to soon.  

“Oh, yeah?”  

“Why aren’t you in class” 

It wasn’t a question I really wanted to answer yet I still hadn’t looked back from the hall to even see who I was talking to in order to answer the question.  

“I just don’t want to be” I finally look to see Amy watching my eyes dart back and forth across the corridor.  

“Rylee you can’t beat yourself up over it every time. She is gone and while I know it hurts no matter what you did or could’ve done, she definitely never wanted you to beat yourself up over it like you are now. She would want you to move on and be happy. I know it will never be the same again believe me I do and my heart hurts just thinking about it but at some point, letting go is the only option” Amy said rubbing my back in what is supposed to be a comforting way.  

“They never listened to her, or anyone else in this god damn school until it’s too late. f**k her own parents wouldn’t even listen to me when even I knew she was hurting. I can’t believe I tried to do the right thing. Why? No one cares anyways. Life is a life and death thing. You can’t run from it or hide from it and eventually it takes you away anyways, leaving a trail of broken people in your path. But whatever. I’m skipping” I shrugged it off and headed for the door.  

“Rylee” Grayson stopped me in my tracks realizing he heard everything I just said as he watched from down the hall.  

“Grayson now isn’t a good time.” I smirk knowing he’s not giving up that easy. He’s the new kid and weather I would like to admit it or not I kind of am taking a liking to him even though every bone in my body is telling me to run.  

“I know, but I just wanted to know if you maybe wanted to meet up tonight?” He smiles an innocent smile and I almost agree. 

“I can't, I'm babysitting” I turn my heel for the door one last time. 

“I’ll come to you” I can feel his eyes on me as I open the door daring to run to my ally at the thought, everyone knows what happened but only a few people know where I am now and most of them, I live with.  

“Okay” I muster out before forcing my body to move out the door and let it slam behind me. I walk through the parking lot reaching the equipment shed I slide behind it. Slamming my back against the wall sliding down forcing myself to hold in every emotion that’s fighting its way to come out. Anger, sadness, anxiety. They come in waves side by side fighting to break through the surface I let a few tears shed to block out the rest and quickly fix myself. When I finally stand my legs shakily, I walk myself right back into school and finish the rest of my classes. I try to focus on everything, anything, nothing all at once piercing out the teachers as the day drags on. For lunch I do what I always do, sit in the art room and crank my music while I draw, paint. Whatever I'm feeling that day. The day comes and goes in a blur but also feels like forever, ask me anything about any one of my classes and I would only be able to tell you about my first class and the moments directly after.