MARRIED TO THE DEVIL'S SON

CHAPTER 4: meeting the devils son

I couldn't tell how much I was walking. It only felt like a long time. I was just. Walking and I did not pay attention to the time. I was walking for a while. The walking just seemed to go on and on.

Time is really weird here. It gets all messed up. Sometimes it feels like it just stops moving.The stone walls look rough and cold. There are red lines, on the walls that look like the lines you see on your wrist when you cut yourself. The walls look like they are alive because I can see these lines and they look like they are moving. It is like something is breathing behind the walls like something is living underneath the stone. The walls feel like they are watching me. That is really scary. Time does not work properly here.

The floor beneath my feet feels warm and relaxing. It is not hot or burning. It is just warm enough to make me remember that this is real and I am really not on earth anymore. The floor beneath my feet is warm.

Hell does not rush anyone. Hell takes its time with everyone. You can be sure that Hell is very patient with people. The thing about Hell is that it does not hurry anyone along. Hell is always willing to wait for people to get to where they're going.

Hell is waiting for us. Hell is a scary place.The thought alone frightens me. Hell is what we all fear.

The ring on my finger is always catching my eye. It does not. Anything, but I am aware of it. I notice the ring every time I take a step. The ring feels like it is getting heavier as I walk further. It is not heavy like the ring is made of a lot of metal or something. The ring feels heavy because it reminds me of things. It is like the ring knows where I am heading even when I do not know where I am going with the ring.

I slow down for a second.

The ring is getting tighter.

I just stopped trying to fight it. I keep walking. The thing is, I am really tired of fighting it. I just keep walking and see what happens to me and the situation, with this thing that I am dealing with which is really the problem that I am trying to figure out and that is why I keep walking and not fighting it anymore.

I keep hearing this sound that is following me. It is a hum. This sound has been with me since the wedding. The sound is quiet. It is always there. Sometimes I almost forget that the sound exists then the sound will suddenly change. The sound gets deeper and louder. The sound feels like it is pressing into my chest. It makes my breathing feel really strange. The sound is really getting to me.

That is when I know I am not alone this time around. It is a great feeling to know that the people I care about are with me. The feeling of being alone is gone when I am with these people. I feel happy when I think about the people who are with me because I know that I am not alone.

I stop walking because my legs are really tired from the food shop I went to. And it looks like I just saw someone.

This person is very tall and completely still. When I first see him I think he might be a statue.. Then I notice the wings that are folded behind the person. The wings are really large and very dark. The edges of the wings seem to blend into the shadows like the wings belong there with the person.

My heart skips a beat when I think about the music festival. I love the music festival. The way it makes my heart skip.

This is him.

Lucien.

The Devil’s son.

The one I am married to.

I wait for fear to rush through me. My legs should be shaking by now. My chest should be feeling really tight like it has every time since I got to Hell. But I am waiting for panic to set in and take over Hell. I mean I am waiting for panic to set in and take over me in Hell.

But the thing is, it really does not.

I feel confused.

The man is not smiling at all. He does not stare at me like I am something that belongs to him. The man is not walking toward me now. The man looks really tired. The man looks controlled. The man looks like he is carrying something that's very heavy but the man refuses to let it show that he is struggling.

The man turns around slowly when he sees me standing there. His eyes look right at mine.

His eyes are black. They are completely black. His eyes are not empty. They are just really deep. It is like something bad is hidden behind his eyes. I feel his eyes on me. His eyes are not pushing down on me. They are not attacking me. His eyes are just watching me.

He says this to me: So.

His voice is calm. Low. Not cruel. Not gentle either.

So he says again you are really real.

The words really catch me off guard. I am taken aback by the words. The words are very surprising. They catch me off guard.

I thought he would say something bad. Something that would hurt my feelings. Something mean. Something that would make me feel like I do not belong in this place. I was waiting for him to say something. Something sharp. The kind of thing that would make me feel like an outsider. Something that would remind me that the Computer Science team is not, for me.

My voice gets stuck. I am trying to say something. The words do not come out. Was I supposed to be something ?

The man's eyes move to my hand. His eyes are looking at my hand now.

To the ring.

For a moment I see something on his face. Then it is gone before I can really understand what the change in his face means.

He tells me that people thought I would be scared. But what really surprises him is that I am still standing with all that has happened to the people around me. They said I would be afraid but they did not say that I would still be standing.

That makes something twist inside of me. When I think about it something twisty happens inside my stomach. The feeling of something twisting inside my body is really weird. Something twisting inside me is not a feeling at all.

I say that I did not choose this. My voice is more steady than I thought it would be. I tell them this because I want to know if it makes a difference to the person I am talking to. I want to know if the fact that I did not choose this matters to them.

He looks at me for a long time. Even longer than he did before. It is like the man is trying to figure something out about me. He just keeps looking at me.

He says it does not.

The words hurt me even though I try to tell myself that the words should not hurt me. The words still hurt. I do not know why the words hurt me much but the words do.

He says, in a softer voice "I did not know that either."

I just stopped moving. I am completely still. My body freezes.

For a second the hum around us changes. The whole place seems to be paying attention to what we're doing. It is like the place is actually listening to us.

I look at his face closely trying to see if he is making fun of me or telling me something that is not true. I do not see anything like that on his face.

I say this before I even think about it: you are not what I expected.

One corner of his mouth goes up a bit. It is not a smile. It does not mean he is happy.

“Hell rarely is.”

The man turns away. He starts walking. He is walking away from something. The man just keeps on walking.

Just like that.

The man does not tell me to follow him. He just keeps walking. The man does not look back at me. He walks like he knows that I will come after the man.

I am not really sure what to do now. I hesitate.

The ring is getting tighter again. The ring is really tight now. I can feel the ring tightening around me. The ring is so tight it is uncomfortable. The ring is not loosening up, the ring is just getting tighter and tighter.

I take a breath. Then I follow the person in front of me.

The corridor looks long, to me now. He is walking ahead of me. He is not walking fast and he is not walking very slow either. He is just walking at a pace. It is like he thinks I will keep up with him. I see how tight his shoulders are. Every single thing he does seems controlled.

I say to them where are we going I want to know.

The man says "This is my part of the palace". He then tells me "Your rooms are there, in that part of the palace your chambers are there".

My chambers.

The word feels strange in my head. It is like the word is bouncing around in my head. It does not feel right. I do not know why the word feels strange. The word just feels strange.

I am wondering what will happen now. I ask what happens now?

The man stops talking for a second before he says anything.

He tells me that this is a place where you learn how to stay alive.. He makes sure that no one kills the people who are here, the people who are trying to stay alive. He is the one who does that, he is the one who keeps the people safe and makes sure that no one hurts them, no one kills them.

I do not know if that is supposed to make me feel better or if that is a warning to me.

As I keep walking with him I notice something. When I am closer to him the humming noise becomes quieter. The tight feeling in my chest gets a little better and it eases slightly. It is not enough for me to feel safe though. It is just enough for me to notice that things are a little different with the hum and the feeling in my chest when I am near him.

This situation really scares me. The thought of it is very frightening, to me. The idea of this thing scares me.

I look at him again. I look at his wings. I notice the space he keeps between the two of us. The man is really careful with himself. I think about how he does this. He keeps a distance from me. It is clear that he is being very careful, with his own body and his wings.

That is when the realization hits me.

He is not warm.

He is not kind.

He is not the person I thought he was. He is actually not that scary at all. The monster I had, in my mind, is not him.

For the time since I was dragged from my life I realize something that makes my stomach twist. This thing that I have realized is really making my stomach feel weird. My life is totally different now. This new thing is making me feel sick. My stomach is actually twisting because of what I have realized about my life.

Lucien is not free.

And whatever this bond is between us…

It has trapped both of us.